Tag Archive | sister

Thankfulness Mondays – Humour Amidst Chaos

Under the wire… but Week 45 (of 52) weeks posting with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, for things and areas of our lives, that we have to be thankful for and to offset the negativity that can surround us..

Well, I’m definitely thankful the actual move is done. It’s been exhausting really, and it will be awhile until we’re settled.

The night of the move, I found myself chuckling. Here my husband was putting together two of three items we ordered online and were delivered that day to the new apartment. He was muttering to himself things like “they sent the wrong part”, or…. ” the directions don’t make any sense, or….. the picture they show doesn’t match their directions etc. etc.

I found myself trying to do something, and I was doing the very same thing, muttering away to myself and not expecting any replies or conversation.. just muttering. I then realized what a pair we were!

As it turns out he got everything assembled though one of them was a real challenge; with so many screws, nuts and bolts, along with pieces to put together… A & B go opposite C & D; an so on and so on. I on the other did not solve my dilemma, but now I have the internet and I will ‘google’ to find my answer!

It was a tough move, as the older one gets of course the less energy one has. But I am thankful for the ability to laugh in the midst of the chaos of moving!

P.S. For those who gave their thoughts and prayers for my sister; she is out of the hospital but the doctors have advised her not to live alone now, with her condition as it is. She has the opportunity of moving to a Senior’s building where there is 24 hour medical help if there is a need, and also some meals each month, and activities if she wants. She’ll still have an apartment, though small; it will still be her ‘own’ ! Thank You for caring! …..Diane

Thankfulness Mondays – Really Tired But Thankful!

Week 44  (of 52) posting of things to be thankful for, with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others to hopefully encourage others and to offset the many negative areas of our life.

Today I’m thankful that we move in two days, and that my sister is recovering, though still quite ill, from double pneumonia. She’s older than I am, and went into the hospital last week very weak and ill. Her BP, heart rate and oxygen rate we very low. She was in ICU until today and they were moving her to a regular room.

The news that while the doctor is pleased  she is recovering, on examination he found that her COPD is now severe, and she also has emphysema and congenitive heart failure. She has been quite tired for some time now, but seemingly this went undiagnosed until she became so ill.

The positive aspect is that she will now be followed by two specialists, and receive some help with homecare, housework, and a few days of meals on wheels. This will allow her to live in her own home as long as possible

We’re moving in two days, but I wanted to go to see her for a couple of days, to know that she was okay. It’s been a tough couple of weeks packing etc; but there’s an end in site, and my sister is out of immediate danger.

Once I get settled I’ll of course go and see spend some time with her.!

Note that I won’t have internet when we move on Tuesday for a week or so, therefore won’t be able to read any blogs or comment or post.  I’ll have to try and catch up on at least some when I’m back online.

Taken last July 2016

 

Thankfulness Mondays – Lessons Learned

This is week 35 of 52 joining with Bernadette of Haddon Musings for reasons large and small to be thankful for in our lives, with the intention of perhaps offsetting the negative aspects of life.

This past week I’ve been at my sister “M” ‘s home, and we were reminiscing our growing up years. She’s 5 years older than I, and not in the best health. but we both had many of the same memories. We thought of our mother, and our other 8 siblings.

We thought about how strong a woman she was, and how we have taken on many of her traits. We thought about the unconditional love she had, but also the way we were raised. The appreciation that we feel, for teaching ‘us’ how to love and to support one another. If one of us is hurting we try to be there. If one of us needs something we try to be there.

There are only 3 of us that are remaining now, and our brother and his wife are going through a difficult time. We went to see them and when leaving, there were tears forming in his eyes; this brother who rarely showed his feelings in such a visible way. His wife has a neurological disease of ‘unknown origin’, that now after many years of deterioration, is waiting for placement in a home, where she can receive 24 hour care. He has tried valiantly for her to remain at home, but it has become impossible to continue.

My sister lost her husband later in July of 2015.

So you may wonder what I have to be thankful for…..  and it is that we were raised by a mother who had compassion, strength, faith, and unconditional love, in order that we might show it to not only our families, but to others as well.

If one has not been the recipient of such love, it is difficult (but not impossible) to give it to others.

Six of us 2015 Brother and His Wife in center

Six of us 2015
Brother and His Wife in center

John 13:34-35New International Version (NIV)

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

 

Thankfulness Mondays – She Is My Sister – Poem

I’m again posting each week on ‘Thankfulness Mondays’, along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings with the intention of just writing of all things we have to be grateful for in our lives with hope that it will offset the negative aspects present today.

I’ve been busy the last two weeks; partly because of visits, one of which was with my sister ‘M’. She’s leaving today to go home. She lost her husband just over a year ago, but is still grieving the loss.  Each person of course has to use whatever time they need to mourn the loss of a loved one, and we have been trying to spend as much time as we can together. I am very grateful to have her in my life!

I’m posting a poem I wrote in 2012 about her. Her husband had a stroke in 2011 and she cared for him since that time and until his death, and so the poem reflects that time.

She is an inspiration

To all who know her

Selfless and giving

To so many

Her heart so full of love

No boundaries she knows

Her body sometimes wearies

But her spirit wages on

There is no time to dwell on her own needs

Only to others’

When will there be those moments

To reflect upon her life

To see her beauty as loved ones do

And their concern

She withstands so much and yet

It remains a mystery to her

It comes so naturally she doesn’t see

Her true worth in our eyes

She is so beautiful in spirit

and in her very soul

 

She is MY Sister

With Love

From Diane xoxoxo (2012)

Taken this July 2016

Taken this July 2016

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Many Thoughts…………..

I’m sitting here in my chair, and so many thoughts racing through my head. I’m listening to some Christian songs sung by Elvis… yes Elvis!  He was a singer that of course began back when I was in my early years, and I know he is a very controversial person and subject, but still my husband and I listen to his music and get comfort when he sings gospel songs.

My brother-in-law passed away on Thursday night, after living several days in spite of being taken off life-support. Some of us wondered why he lasted for several days after, and God did not take him home. However as Christians we do know that sometimes there are reasons.

There were several members of the family that were not ready for ‘J’ to pass on. They had questions in their minds, they had disbelief that they were actually losing their ‘grampy’ or ‘father’. They were in shock! It’s not that ‘J’ was young; but they just couldn’t comprehend such a loss. During those few days, I got to speak to some of them as did my sister and others in the family. We were having conversations the day ‘J’ died, about the fact that ‘all’ were now ready to let him go. That is the night around 10 pm that he went to be with the Lord.

I had intended to stay with my sister until after the funeral services, which now aren’t until Tuesday and for a few days thereafter. However, plans changed and I’m home. My sister ‘M’ was not able to stay overnight in the home that she lived in with her husband and so for the two nights I did stay, she went to her daughter’s. No one can predict how the death of someone so near and dear to us, will affect us. Perhaps after the service and a few days with her daughter and family, ‘M’ will be able to go home. She needs to ready it for selling as she intends to get an apartment, but again her family will help her with this.

My feelings right now are sad; of course because of the loss of a dear brother… I never really considered him an ‘in-law’ as we were so close and have known him for over 60 years. I am sad for another reason, and it is purely and simple selfish; that I could not spend the time that I thought I would have with my sister to comfort her and be close, grieve with her, and just talk about everything and nothing!

I guess sometimes we want to be ‘needed’ in a special way, but we have to put aside our own feelings and realize that the other person has needs of their own, and respect and accept that.

It doesn’t however take away the sadness right now that I’m feeling, but everything will be okay and I’m sure in the future I’ll have some special time with ‘M’.

p.s. my concentration factor is almost nil so haven’t been able to do much reading of any of your blogs, but hopefully soon.

Just a Whim – Poem

 

My sister and I in Myrtle Beach

My sister and I in Myrtle Beach

As I sit here in my chair

My thoughts pass from here to there

In a matter of a minute or so

Where I wonder did my mind go

Was it thinking of the day ahead

Or was I thinking of what someone said

Perhaps it strolled along the way

To events that happened just today

Maybe our days spent on the beach

Is where my mind is trying to reach

But spring is here and much to do

To make the garden look anew

Let me see,  what shall come first

Maybe I’ll just check my purse

I think I know what I shall do

Grab my keys and jacket too

The paper said there was a sale

And in this effort, I must not fail

It’s something that I have to get

But I won’t go deep in debt

I’m off to buy a special book

I want to have more than a look

I’m sure that it is meant for me

It’s for a ‘writerwannabe’

 

footnote: Some day I’ll write a really soul-filled poem… but not today !  ha!   Diane

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Last Letter to my Oldest Sister – Memories

 

'H' at 16 years of age.

‘H’ at 16 years of age.

Most that have followed me on a regular or semi-regular basis, know that I had 9 siblings; a large family. I was the youngest of the 10 of us, and my oldest sister was ‘H’. There were 25 years between us, so she could have been my mother, and in a sense when I was young she seemed more of a mother than sister.

‘H’ was one of two of my siblings that graduated from University; the other being my oldest brother; the second born child. She and my brother must have had a great desire to go as far as they could in school, but it was very difficult for them. In high school, they used to have to often take turns taking some days off school, to look after some of the younger siblings, in order that my mother could find some kind of work; cleaning houses or doing laundry for others. They also of course had to share books, because they couldn’t afford two sets. Our father called ‘Pop’ was unfortunately a gambler and an alcoholic and while he always worked as a barber, he squandered so much of the money he made, therefore making it harder on our mother and their children. I won’t go into the whole story, as I have written about it before.

This post, is just about ‘H’. While she could have been so many things like a teacher, she instead decided to devote her life after marriage to raising their 5 children, one adopted; and their successive grandchildren making herself available to each an every one, to care for when their parents had to work.

‘H’s husband got Parkinson’s and suffered deterioration for the last several years of his life. ‘H’ was the only one he truly responded to, and she cared for him until the last year when he had to go into a Vet hospital, where she would go and stay with him the whole day. She was not especially healthy during those last years, but willed herself well in order to care for him, until he passed away. After he did, her own health declined within a few months. The last time I visited her in the hospital before she died, as I gave her a kiss and I guess looking concerned, she smiled and said, “It’s okay dear, I’m not sick…. I’m just dying”. She of course was a devoted Christian and knew where she was going. She passed away in the next couple of days.

The reason she has come to mind, was that I am still finding letters etc. that I wrote different times in my life, and I came across this last letter I wrote to her about 5 months before she died, and it brought back memories. Here’s what I wrote to her.

Dear ‘H’,

There are so many things that I can think of, and yet over the years probably have never said to you. We try to buy cards that say exactly what we feel but somehow they never fully do.

You were the firstborn in our family and therefore have so much more insight what went on through the many years. Somehow you have taken more time than anyone else (in my humble opinion), to keep in touch with everyone that you possibly could. It wasn’t that you had more time than the rest of us, it’s just that you made time.

I think that I mentioned at some point in my “adult life” that I was a wee bit intimidated by you, because you seemed to have it all together . I can’t ever remember, (even though there may have been times) you losing your temper. Maybe you had a secret that the rest of us didn’t!  With the kind of things that I have encountered in my life at first I felt so down on myself. Often though, you were there, listening and saying comforting things to me. Sometimes I was too embarrassed to talk to people, but I soon learned that you didn’t dwell on the negative but instead, just spoke to me with no conditions and no judgemental attitudes.

Your family has grown and had a wonderful stability in their lives; your children and of course your grandchildren and even now great-grandchildren. There is a lot of wisdom that you gave, probably only if requested. I’m sure that you had to grow up fast as there were so many other children after you. Anyway dear, as Mother’s day approaches, I acknowledge you as one of the best!

Love Always!!!!

Diane xxxxx