Tag Archive | relationships

Why Is It?

I was sitting here just wondering why exactly it is, that some people just won’t be ‘real’ with you. Sometimes, there are people who won’t open up and say what it is that perhaps is bothering them; or the two of you know, but only one wants to bring it out into the open and discuss it honestly, calmly and in some cases, lovingly.

There is one, who is hoping against hope that the other, will bridge the subject that is causing a wedge between them. One wants to clear the air, but the other wants to avoid doing so. One is hoping to hear some words or encouragement and understanding, but the other withholds giving it to them.

There is an air of doubt, there is an air of ‘don’t ask, and don’t expect too much from me.

Someone might think that just blurting out what you want to talk about might be the answer. However, the person in question knows from previous experience, they can’t do that. There is an invisible wall that prevents unwanted entry.

Why is it though? Is it pride? Is it lack of caring? Is it unwillingness to forgive? Is it lack of wanting to broach a subject they just don’t want to talk about?

Maybe it’s a little of everything. It’s too bad though, because it leaves one person feeling sometimes sad, sometimes hurt, or sometimes that they just wish they themselves didn’t care either!

 

Thankfulness Mondays – ‘Of Like Mind’

Well, it’s Week 37 of (52) joining Bernadette of Haddon Musingsof posts , that look at all things that we have in our lives to be thankful for, from the very small and sometimes incidental to the very significant areas.

I was thinking today of how comforting it is, that my husband and I are of like mind in so many ways. Without fail it seems that one or both of us is thinking or saying something when the other says it first. That song on the car radio, that is playing one that is aggravating, and as you are thinking of changing the station or shutting it off, he does it first. That thought that came into your mind; all of a sudden it comes out of his mouth. Having the same taste in furniture, and places we are looking to move to, and in so many other ways.

It is I suppose, something husbands and wives would do, after living together a long time.

But there are others in our lives;  friends, sisters, brothers who we spend more time with, because we think the same, or feel the same about many things. People who we can relate to, sometimes in a very personal way when something is troubling us. I guess that’s what draws us together in the first place.

It’s not that we don’t sometimes disagree,  or have people in our lives who we can appreciate, but who don’t think the way we do. That would be pretty dull or unrealistic.

However, I believe we have a feeling of validation of our thoughts, ideology, emotions and hurts, when we have relationships with those of ‘like mind’ and I am very thankful today for them/you!

DIANE IN ARUBA

 

 

I was just thinking………

 

Wally and Diane 50 th anniversary

 

………………………………………………………I’ll pull into the next restaurant I see !!!! ❤

Thankfulness Mondays – Those Special Moments

This is week 31 (of 52) of joining Bernadette of  ‘Haddon Musings’, posting of things we have every day to be thankful for; and to try to realize them to help offset many negative situations around us and in the world in general.

Yesterday we had a lovely visit with one of our grandsons (B) and his fiancée (K). She sent a text on Friday night to see if we had plans and asked if we wanted to have lunch with them. So of course, I said that would be great and asked the time. We agreed on 12:30.

We decided to make a pie and take it with us for dessert as they were supplying lunch. It’s a joint effort; my husband peels and I put it all together. We did it in the morning and then got ready to go, and just as we were leaving I received another text message saying that they would be there in five minutes and to put the coffee on.

A little befuddled I looked at my husband and told him, and also looked at the message they had sent the first time. I then realized I had read it rather quickly and thought we were to go to their home. Of course I was mistaken. If he hadn’t sent that second text we would have left, and likely all been very confused when no one was home at either place.

Anyway, we had a very nice visit. I am very thankful when one of our children or grandchildren take a bit of time out of their very busy schedule, to visit very grateful grandparents.

The day they were engaged.

The day they were engaged.

 

Thankfulness Mondays – ‘Relationships’

Participating with Bernadette’s theme of Thankfulness Mondays .. her blog is Haddon Musings, with the idea that we recognize how much we have to be grateful for, and to offset perhaps the negative occurrences that occur around us.

This week I am just thankful for the various relationships that we have. There are those that we see daily perhaps, such as our neighbours. There are those that we meet through social media, such as blogging.

We have friends we meet and interact with each Sunday, at church and have social time with on occasion. Last week we had dinner with two couples from church, and it was very nice.

Family relationships of course are very important, whether it is brother, sister, children, grandchildren and others.

I suppose of course the relationship with our spouse or ‘significant other’ is a very special one, as they know pretty much everything about us.

The most important relationship for me as a Christian is certainly that of God. He knows me even better than my husband and actually better than I know myself.

Relationships of any kind can be scarred or even broken. But the amazing thing is, that they can also be reconciled and healed. With forgiveness, compassion and effort from all concerned anything is possible.

I know this to be true, as in my own lifetime this has happened many times!

Thankfulness Monday – Almost 53 Years…..

It’s Monday and so in keeping with ‘Thankfulness Mondays’ initiated by Bernadette at Haddon Musings… I submit the following post.

Wednesday will be my husbands’ and my 53rd anniversary. We went out yesterday with his brother and wife to celebrate ours’ and theirs’ as well. They’ve been married 45 years.

We had a wonderful dinner at a wonderful restaurant. Unfortunately it seems something didn’t agree with me as 4 hours after, I became ill and didn’t settle at all until 2:30 am. It’s really worn me out, but it doesn’t take away the time we spent together recalling when we met our respective spouses, and the day we were married.

When we have been together for so many years it brings memories and feelings that have just increased with each year. Fuss is made for 25, 50, and 60 year anniversaries, but in fact each year brings with it added blessings.

Thoughts of July 27th 1963 and of the first time we met. I was 15 and he was an ‘older man’ of 19. He was and still is an extrovert and I was very shy. I’m not quite as shy though now, and he has become a little less of an extrovert. I guess that’s what happens over the years. Relationships meld together and each becomes less demanding on having their own way.

There are so many facets that make a marriage, but when asked why I believe we have stood the test of time, I say that good and honest communication, and forgiveness are two things that stand out to me. Of course love, sensitivity, trust,  commitment, and many more things are extremely important; but if we don’t talk honestly and completely, and when we make wrong decisions or downright ‘mistakes’……. forgive each other, then I don’t think a marriage has a chance and the love can be tarnished forever.

Marriage is full of trials and tribulations, but when we stay the course it is beautiful, and so the vows we said before God 53 years ago are fulfilled in each other!

16 years of age and he 20

16 years of age and he 20

Our Wedding Day

Our Wedding Day

Last Year

Last Year

A-Z Challenge ‘Honesty’

HOkay just to begin; I made an ‘honest mistake’ when I began this challenge. I really didn’t read about it when I discovered another blogger and friend said she was doing the A-Z challenge. I should have realized that each challenge does have various rules associated with it. I just zoned out, and didn’t read them. So I am an unofficial and unregistered participant.

I had thought this would be a good way to get back into regular blogging. I suppose that it really doesn’t matter though and at this time I won’t backtrack, but instead just follow the general idea of blogging on a subject relating to the alphabet. Today being ‘H’ I decided to come clean!

Honesty is a quality that has always been important to me. Trust comes from knowing that you can believe in someone. It also means that others can expect it from you.

Of course that doesn’t always mean you have to be brutally honest, if by doing so someone’s feelings may be hurt. There is wisdom in knowing how to be truthful, but not hurtful. I could give examples but I think that most of us know of those times.

I must say that I don’t react well when I find out someone has lied. I do tend to dwell on it too much in many cases. The strange thing is that often people will lie when they don’t have to, but they find it easier than telling the truth; or they don’t want to face a barrage of questions they imagine will be asked if they do.

Honesty is one of the most important qualities of any relationship………… even in the blogging community; hence my confession today… ha!

 

 

FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS….

Coming from a family of 10, I have seen the interaction of a lot of different families and their relationships with one another; myself included.

Each person born has their individuality. I think that some aspects or traits, are adapted from our parents or those who raise us, especially during the formative years; however we develop our own personalities based on so many factors.  As a Christian I believe we are unique and are born with various feelings, attitudes and sensitivities.

We can be born within the same family, but all be different in our nature. Having said that, being born into a family of 10.. me the youngest; even though each of us were very different in so many ways, we all had the same view about unconditional love… because our mother demonstrated it to all.

Sometimes though there were times, that love was fractured or tested but like gold goes through the refining process, so did the relationship. Family ties by nature are the strongest… but can also be the most heart-breaking when something goes awry. It has always seemed to me when that happens, both of the individuals or family, wait for the other one to admit ‘they’ are wrong, and then just maybe they’ll forgive them. I’ve seen so much heartache, many tears and a lot of sadness when this happens. Why is it so hard to talk things out? Why are these people that have been an intricate part of our lives, expendable?

I would suspect ‘pride’ is lurking, hardness of heart present, and a sense of always being right; as though somehow that is a reason to dismiss someone from your life. Communication is the only answer!  Second to that… maybe it should be first, but ‘forgiveness’ is key; just forgiving whatever each one feels the other has done. Sometimes relationships get so mixed up, it’s like scrambled eggs that really can’t be unscrambled; we just have to go on!

And if you let God into all of it… he can help…. He’s the only one I know that can ‘unscramble the eggs’!

I’ll interject here, just to say that I know there are those who don’t know what a loving, forgiving, unconditional love from a parent is like. That can so injure a child emotionally, and  knowing some who have been through this, I realize that it takes strength, motivation and hard work to experience the healing that is needed.

Anyway… my thoughts!