Tag Archive | memories

Thankfulness Mondays – A Few Wistful Moments

Week 41 (of 52) along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, posting of things in our lives that sometimes go unnoticed, and which if we think about them, will offset many negatives aspects of the world around us, and make us truly thankful.

A few posts ago, I wrote that because of moving and de-cluttering I found some old journals and other writings, from many years ago, when I was going through periods of depression. They caused me to remember things and I found a great sadness overwhelmed me for a time..

Well today I found some more old letters, but instead of sadness they brought some ‘wistful moments’.  There were some from family members who were very close to me, and some friends but the ones that I most cherish, were from my Mother. I was about 12 and 13 years of age at the time. I used to spend most summers when I was young at one of my brother’s home. This was because of course she had to work, and didn’t want me left alone.

He had 5 children, and I used to ‘babysit’ them. Most of them were not babies, but very young. I used to take them to the pool at the park most days, and various other things. I would then get some spending money to go to the show with a friend, or buy treats with.

Since it was in a city about 3 hours away my mother and I used to exchange letters, and I found a few of them today. I re-read them, and it brought back memories. I remembered how special she was, and felt very thankful for having her as my mother.

Of course she occasionally might get a friend or family member to drive up for a visit occasionally, but she always wanted to let me know she was thinking of me. That of course is way before home computers, or cell phones or emails.

It’s a shame that not many write letters anymore, and I’m one of those who don’t.  I do still send cards, but not letters.  It certainly was more exciting to look in the mailbox each day, and wonder if there would be a letter or card addressed to me. Emails or text messages sent are usually deleted shortly after they are received, and not kept as a treasure to be discovered many years later.

While I am getting rid of a lot of stuff with this move  since we won’t have the storage, I will not dispose of those letters.

One doesn’t throw away cherished wistful moments.

Picture of my Mother and I on my wedding day. A picture I cherish!

 

Thankfulness Mondays – Lessons Learned

This is week 35 of 52 joining with Bernadette of Haddon Musings for reasons large and small to be thankful for in our lives, with the intention of perhaps offsetting the negative aspects of life.

This past week I’ve been at my sister “M” ‘s home, and we were reminiscing our growing up years. She’s 5 years older than I, and not in the best health. but we both had many of the same memories. We thought of our mother, and our other 8 siblings.

We thought about how strong a woman she was, and how we have taken on many of her traits. We thought about the unconditional love she had, but also the way we were raised. The appreciation that we feel, for teaching ‘us’ how to love and to support one another. If one of us is hurting we try to be there. If one of us needs something we try to be there.

There are only 3 of us that are remaining now, and our brother and his wife are going through a difficult time. We went to see them and when leaving, there were tears forming in his eyes; this brother who rarely showed his feelings in such a visible way. His wife has a neurological disease of ‘unknown origin’, that now after many years of deterioration, is waiting for placement in a home, where she can receive 24 hour care. He has tried valiantly for her to remain at home, but it has become impossible to continue.

My sister lost her husband later in July of 2015.

So you may wonder what I have to be thankful for…..  and it is that we were raised by a mother who had compassion, strength, faith, and unconditional love, in order that we might show it to not only our families, but to others as well.

If one has not been the recipient of such love, it is difficult (but not impossible) to give it to others.

Six of us 2015 Brother and His Wife in center

Six of us 2015
Brother and His Wife in center

John 13:34-35New International Version (NIV)

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

 

Sifting Through Some Memories

Today I thought I would take some time and clear out some miscellaneous boxes of old papers, cards etc. I couldn’t just throw away the contents without reading them.

So many memories were stirred within me by the cards and letters that I found. Reading them brought some tears, but also rekindled many times of encouragement from so many people. Sometimes we forget those who walked alongside of us during difficult times.

What struck me is that there were so many cards, with thoughts of love and support and prayers. In today’s society with so much done electronically through email, texting and Facebook  and perhaps other social media, that not a lot of people send actual cards in the mail anymore. I’m sure there are some that do so, but it’s not so common. Having been raised by a mother who did send cards and letters, I generally will send one to those who are ill or bereaved, and still many Christmas, birthday and anniversary ones as well.

When I was re-reading them it brought back memories of my relationships and friendships I’ve had during my life. I found special letters from my kids to me also; many of which were from the years when I was suffering with depression. It’s not that my whole life was defined by depression, as there were many times that life was good. I worked part-time and sometimes full-time, helped raise our three children and handle the other usual things in life.

Depression does though heavily impact our lives and those we love. There is no denying that fact. I guess some of the tears today, were because I was reading what the struggles were like. I found a journal that I had been writing in during this time also.

For those who are struggling now with depression or other form of mental disease, please know that while we may not understand or believe that there can ever be relief from it; we CAN and I DID!!

Do I wish that it had not been part of my life; you bet I do. Do I understand why… not really, not fully. Can anyone understand everything about the whys and wherefores of life? I’m sure the answer to so much is a big question mark.

So while it brought some tears in remembering, it also brought joy… to see how many cared, loved and supported me at different times in my life…..and to remind me of how far I’ve come!

Is my life perfect now without depression present? Of course not!

It’s just life; with challenges, joys and sorrows….just like everyone else has……………………

Diane

A Time of Sweet Memories – Poem

Today, we had to say good-bye to one of our nieces; a young woman (52) challenged in life but who had an indomitable spirit. While she had many reasons to shake her fist at what could be perceived at so many seemingly injustices,  she simply faced each one and stayed the course. You can read if you like a post I did here in October, when she discovered the spread of the cancer.

There were so many people who attended today… a legacy of her life.

I wrote a short poem and read it today, in her memory!

Annette with Rob four-002

She lit up the room wherever she was

Her smile warmed the hearts of all

It matters not whether we were family or friend

We all have our memories to recall

I remember when her sister got married

She was just a young girl but so sweet

When the dinner was over and time to dance

She danced ‘Uncle Wally’ off of his feet

I remember the Mustang convertible

A gift from Rob on the day she turned 50

Shiny and beautiful, and brought so much joy

And sure made her feel very ‘nifty’

For Rob and her sons, her heart was so full

Of love, adoration and care

There was nothing that she wouldn’t do for them

Not anything she wouldn’t share

And while this is a time of sadness for all

Who knew her and loved her so much

Her smile and her spirit will always remain

In the lives of those she has touched.

 

For my darling niece, Annette with love

Aunt Diane xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

 

Time Marches On……….

Christmas is a time for many of nostalgia, and I am one of those people. I tend to remember and think about Christmases past….   

While I don’t necessarily remember  a lot of the details of long ago, because of memory issues, there are certain things that seem to be locked into my brain. As a small child I recall that the only thing I wanted or asked for was a doll, or doll clothes. I have a vision of waiting to get the okay to go downstairs, and seeing underneath the tree, a doll just as I had hoped for.

As a ten- year old, I remember receiving from my sister a ‘kitten sweater set’. Most of you won’t know what that was, but to me it was so beautiful. Along with it, I got a skirt from my mother and a watch. That memory is etched in my mind, and I can clearly see it 59 years later. I went back to school after the holidays, and felt so special with my new outfit, and the principal of the school said how nice I looked. For me this was significant because while I always had clothes to wear, they weren’t often stylish and quite often they were hand-me-downs, and so didn’t fit right. My sister had just started working full-time and so bought me something special.

I remember that our family, including 9 siblings and their families usually having Christmas dinner together. It was noisy and very hectic but a lot of love permeated our home.

Creche my husband made when children were young

Creche my husband made when children were young

With our own family of five including my husband and I and our three children, Christmas was very special. I can remember my husband and I; although he did most of it, putting together the various toys that needed assembly, like the farm set that had a fence with multiple parts, that took a long time to do. We then most often, had dinner with my closest sister and her family. The boys were usually down in the basement playing floor hockey, the girls upstairs playing with various things they received that day.

I remember the year my sister and I decided to have a less hectic supper one Christmas, and decided on lasagna and roast beef. We even thought to save washing some dishes we would cook the meal in aluminum foil pans. Unfortunately, the meat didn’t brown and therefore neither did the potatoes we were ‘roasting’.  The lasagna didn’t fare too well either. This meal was not a hit, and needless to say in the following years, we went back to turkey and mashed potatoes.

Christmas Day with one of our sons 2011

Christmas Day with one of our sons 2011

Those years are etched in my memory, but time goes on and of course we are not as busy now and usually go to have dinner with one of our children and their family. It’s all very nice, but my husband and I were reminiscing this year, as we sat in our living room Christmas morning thinking of years past.

For everyone and in everything there is a season. Our season is evolved to being more sedate, and while that is normal and okay, I am a bit wistful, thinking of the years that were very busy and hectic, and wishing I could step back in time and recapture some of the excitement of earlier times.

No, I wouldn’t want to ‘stay’ there, just ‘visit’ once in a while. These kind of memories or feelings evoked, don’t mean that I’m unhappy with our lives now, they’re just moments of looking back in time.

Time does march on!

A Time To Rant and a Time to Be Still

Yesterday I wrote a post about the frustrations of recent, and challenges in technology regarding our recent purchase of two computers.. mine and my husband ‘W’s. I guess that it wasn’t so unusual to do, but I had some thoughts about it.

Almost immediately after writing it I realized that it may have served some purpose to rant and ‘get it all out’ so to speak, but did it really?

It occurred to me that I made a ‘molehill’ into a ‘mountain’. I gave this issue too much importance in my life. The thought came to me that if for some reason I lost all my data on my computer it was not the end of the world. It is frustrating and tiresome to go through all that I did… (or still am), but this information contained in my computer only came into being when I got it perhaps 6 years ago.. I don’t really remember right now how long I’ve had it. Six years are not a lifetime…. I’ve lived almost 69 years.

If I never retrieved that 6 years of data, it would not matter one iota. The only thing I might regret losing are my pictures stored there. But even those do not mean that my life was not full or that somehow I couldn’t exist without them. That thought was confirmed today when we went to Church and found one of the members had a fire rip through not only their home but their Bed and Breakfast and everything they owned….everything!

Does that mean they should give up and be destroyed by that fact? They certainly might feel like they are but they will go on…what other choice is there? Their lives were at risk and they barely escaped with smoke inhalation. In fact some had to be rescued by others before even the fire department got there.

My life will also go on whether or not our computers can totally be restored to what they were. I’ll likely do a blog when things get sorted out, but in the meantime I will look at the blessings in my life and I will try to remember what I just said, in the event life throws something else our way.

I will remember that in my 69 years I have a lifetime of memories, and I will give thanks to God for all that I have…… Diane

 

 

How Long Ago Was It?

Every so often I revisit in my mind, what it was like to be young and carefree as a child. I would suppose that I’m not unique in doing so, especially with perhaps the older generation of folk. As I have aged, as we all must do we face challenges of many kinds. If we’re fortunate we meet them at each stage of our life and we don’t do it alone.  I know there are those who perhaps do have to do it without much help and are stronger for it. My mother was one, who while she did have a loving mother until her death in her 40’s, once married at the tender age of 15 she had more mountains to climb than most had.

Certainly I have been more fortunate in my life. I guess it’s just one of those moments when I am feeling my age, and remembering when it was different… and that seems like a long time ago.

Rylee fishing April 2012How long ago was it

When I ran and played

With abandon

And no cares to make me sad

Summers spent playing hide ‘n seek

And the best I ever had

With winters always came

Tobogganing and sleds

And the little skates

That Santa gave

Brought laughter and much joy

And memories to save

It seem that it’s a lifetime

Although I know it’s not

I guess that aging brings with it

The longing of those days

When worries were naught

That’s what life then portrays….