Tag Archive | Living

Why Is It?

I was sitting here just wondering why exactly it is, that some people just won’t be ‘real’ with you. Sometimes, there are people who won’t open up and say what it is that perhaps is bothering them; or the two of you know, but only one wants to bring it out into the open and discuss it honestly, calmly and in some cases, lovingly.

There is one, who is hoping against hope that the other, will bridge the subject that is causing a wedge between them. One wants to clear the air, but the other wants to avoid doing so. One is hoping to hear some words or encouragement and understanding, but the other withholds giving it to them.

There is an air of doubt, there is an air of ‘don’t ask, and don’t expect too much from me.

Someone might think that just blurting out what you want to talk about might be the answer. However, the person in question knows from previous experience, they can’t do that. There is an invisible wall that prevents unwanted entry.

Why is it though? Is it pride? Is it lack of caring? Is it unwillingness to forgive? Is it lack of wanting to broach a subject they just don’t want to talk about?

Maybe it’s a little of everything. It’s too bad though, because it leaves one person feeling sometimes sad, sometimes hurt, or sometimes that they just wish they themselves didn’t care either!

 

Thankfulness Mondays – Coming Home

The is the 27th week (of 52) posting with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, of things great and small to be thankful for in our lives; and there are many! This is with the hope of offsetting many negative things that occur around us each day!

I’m posting this ahead, to be published on Monday the 26th of December. I will be on my way home that day, from spending Christmas with our daughter, husband and their two sons, in Chicago.. or near Chicago. While I don’t know the details of our visit at this time, I do know that whenever and wherever we travel, it’s always good to get home.

The name of my blog was chosen because of the value I place on our ‘home’.

Home to me was and is a safe place, a place of comfort, a sense of belonging. It has always been  somewhere that I have considered that I would find acceptance and love, and for this I am thankful.

Home definitely is what you make it to be.. to me a place of love and security!

My husband in his favourite chair with Daisy... home sweet home

My husband in his favourite chair with Daisy… home sweet home

 

 

 

 

Thankfulness Mondays- Say Ahhhh !

Well, it’s Week 23 of a year, participating with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, recognizing things we are thankful for hoping to offset the more negative areas in our life and in the world.

This week I want to say how thankful I am for the doctors in our country, and more specifically that I have been seeing over the past couple of years.

I’ve had a few challenges physically speaking, and I am so grateful for doctors who listen… and care enough to keep trying to find the answers. It’s sometimes frustrating; the ‘well let’s try this’ or ‘that’ etc. The point is; they don’t give up. Tests yes, I can do whatever they ask, because I know that it’s necessary for diagnostic purposes.

Canada, and Ontario where I am specifically, is fortunate to have a healthcare system, while not perfect..  is none-the-less I believe very good. Yes, there are sometimes long waits for specialist appointments, but usually only if it’s not an emergency situation.

So, today I say thanks to the doctors and nurses that strive to do the best that they can, to help those with physical needs.

You Were Not the Creator of America

I can’t help but voice my opinion on the ‘white supremacy’ (not capitalized)  movement currently spouting their racism! Listening to their ridiculous rhetoric especially recently, is enough to make me disgusted and angry.

I really hesitate to give any credibility even by writing about them or mentioning their name, but after watching the latest in the news, I just had to write something. The speaker was saying how ‘they’ …  the Europeans and the white race ‘created’ America.  I guess they don’t remember that Thanksgiving is this Thursday, when America celebrates the pilgrims coming, and meeting with the Native Indians that were already there and to give thanks for the blessings they have.

What really is troubling is that there seems to be too many people who spout this nonsense; too many who are anti-sematic, anti-immigration, anti-black, anti-anyone other than them. The United States was founded on Christianity but freedom most of all to worship or believe what they wanted to.

The key word being freedom. This white supremacy movement is all about squelching everyone else who lives there, that does not believe as they do! I wonder what exactly makes them think they are superior to anyone else? Do they really applaud Nazism and what happened in the Holocaust? What is warping their minds, because warped is what they are?

Freedom does not mean that you have the right to take it away others’. Freedom does not mean that you have the right to threaten, intimidate or cause harm to another person by words or actions.  People are charged with hate crimes as individuals, and yet this group is ‘free’ to spout hatred and dissension it seems at will.

What is wrong with our laws? Something is for sure. It is called the alt-right but that’s just a pseudonym for racism. Whether you are Christian or not, we need to speak out and fight for those who are oppressed or threatened in any way with what I consider poisonous nonsense. I realize this is not just an issue in the United States, but at the moment that’s where the focus is right now.

I know what I say will likely not change anything, but to say nothing tonight was not an option for me!

Thankfulness Mondays – I’m Not Perfect !

Another Monday joining Bernadette from Haddon Musings, being thankful for things large and small and in between!

I was just thinking about the fact that I used to struggle with ‘the perfectionism complex’, and am so glad that for the most part I finally realized that it is futile to attempt to be perfect.

When I was younger and also not so young, I hated to make mistakes. I’m not sure when it started to bother me so much. Maybe it was when I was in school, and being very shy. A few times I can remember being laughed at or embarrassed when I answered a question incorrectly. It made me much less likely to hold my hand up when the teacher asked. I can even remember a teacher in Grade 6 or 7, who told us that since there was going to be an observer in his classroom, he wanted everyone to hold up their hand when he asked for an answer. He said to hold up your left hand if you knew the answer, or your right hand if you didn’t know the answer. So I held up my right hand! He picked me by mistake and then ridiculed me because I didn’t; slamming his ruler on the desk as he did so. I was mortified! I don’t think I ever told my mother even, as she probably would have put in a call to the school.

Anyway, I went through much agony different times through my life getting so upset when I would make a mistake. This was very difficult to deal with as I struggled with intermittent depression through most of my adult life. Thankfully, I have not for the past several years. It makes it hard for relationships also, as one expects others to be perfect too. It is not a reasonable expectation to do so, because it just isn’t going to happen!

There are times when it almost sneaks back into my thinking, even as I have tried to learn new things such as painting. But I catch myself, before it takes root and it’s such a relief.

So if you’re like-minded and tempted to expect perfection, I hope you’ll be kinder to yourself!

I’m not perfect…. and I’m so grateful not to worry about trying anymore!

My 'less than perfect' painting of fall colours..

My ‘less than perfect’ painting of fall colours..

 

Thankfulness Mondays – Turkey and Time

Participating with Bernadette and her blog posts on Haddon Musings; each Monday for 52 weeks, things large and small that we have to be thankful for.

Of course I must note, that it is  our Canadian Thanksgiving. A day set aside to give thanks, although each and every day we should really do so…. for our country, our freedoms and for all that we have.

However I was thinking also of being thankful for ‘time’. I guess being a senior I have more than many people do, but I remember when there never seemed to be enough.

Reflecting though I am grateful for the time that is sometimes needed to let wounds heal, to make decisions that could affect the rest of our lives; time to rest when the world seems too much to handle;  time to tell the people you love how much they mean to you, time to let God work in situations that seem impossible to resolve….

If we don’t utilize time effectively… we don’t take that second breath; it could change our lives drastically. I look back at some of those moments in my own life, and am happy that I did so.

So perhaps we need to slow down, and as the saying goes… ‘take time to smell the roses’ !

A painting I did awhile ago.....

A painting I did awhile ago…..

 

Thankfulness Mondays – She Is My Sister – Poem

I’m again posting each week on ‘Thankfulness Mondays’, along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings with the intention of just writing of all things we have to be grateful for in our lives with hope that it will offset the negative aspects present today.

I’ve been busy the last two weeks; partly because of visits, one of which was with my sister ‘M’. She’s leaving today to go home. She lost her husband just over a year ago, but is still grieving the loss.  Each person of course has to use whatever time they need to mourn the loss of a loved one, and we have been trying to spend as much time as we can together. I am very grateful to have her in my life!

I’m posting a poem I wrote in 2012 about her. Her husband had a stroke in 2011 and she cared for him since that time and until his death, and so the poem reflects that time.

She is an inspiration

To all who know her

Selfless and giving

To so many

Her heart so full of love

No boundaries she knows

Her body sometimes wearies

But her spirit wages on

There is no time to dwell on her own needs

Only to others’

When will there be those moments

To reflect upon her life

To see her beauty as loved ones do

And their concern

She withstands so much and yet

It remains a mystery to her

It comes so naturally she doesn’t see

Her true worth in our eyes

She is so beautiful in spirit

and in her very soul

 

She is MY Sister

With Love

From Diane xoxoxo (2012)

Taken this July 2016

Taken this July 2016