Tag Archive | faith

Thankfulness Mondays – Just Pondering

Week 39 of (52) along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, posting of things to be thankful for in our lives, whether they are small or great significance.

Today I’m just thinking of our children; our two sons and one daughter.  From the time they are born, you realize what an important role you will have, in helping to guide them into being the best they can be. You hope to instill in them morals, values, faith in God, responsibility, kindness, love…. and just so much more.

You wonder how you will do this and if it is really possible. Then you just start living day by day, issue by issue, challenge by challenge, whether they are 3 or 10 or 15 years of age. The difficulties that arise each stage of life, whether at school or at home you try to help the best that you can, to guide them.

Now, we can look at our children in their 40’s and 50’s,  and who they have become, and can  say that our hopes dreams and prayers for them, have come to be.

We can see that they are happy, and I am full of thankfulness for that, especially to God, and have such a sense of peace and joy within.

 

Thankfulness Mondays – THINGS YET UNSEEN

This is week 30 (of 52) participating with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, posting about things great and small, that we have to be thankful for, offsetting negative areas that surround us each and every day.

Hebrews Chapter 11 vs 1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

That verse came to mind when I was thinking of how grateful I am that I can believe that some issues that concern me will resolve in the right time.

There is history in my life that allows me to know this. There was depression, there were several issues within the family, there were illnesses and other challenges.

Faith is not something that is necessarily exclusive to being a Christian, because every day people put their faith in their cars as they drive them, or in planes that they travel on, or the food that they eat.

While not exclusive to Christians, the kind of faith I’m speaking about is that I know while I have concerns about various issues, when I pray for a person or situation God will answer.  It may not be the answer I expected, but He will answer. I read somewhere once, that there are three responses from God; yes, no, and not right now. I have found that to be true in the answers I have received. And while at the time I may not understand why or why not  later on in retrospect, I can see the reason!

So today I am thankful that I can trust in what is yet ‘unseen’………

A Need to Choose

There are moments in life when one has to make choices. Sometimes we try to put off doing so, and can for a time; but then there are those moments when we have to make a decision. If we don’t then we ‘sit on the fence’ so to speak! We try to live with leaving things as they are, knowing that if we do, there will always be dissension within ourselves.

I’ve been doing this for well over a year now, hoping and praying that something would happen to avoid me having to make this decision, but this week faced it head on.

By doing so while it is the right thing to do, and I feel glad that I’m off the proverbial fence, yet I am sad that by making this decision we will lose some friendships formed over the past few years.

I don’t mean to be mysterious and it’s nothing involving family but it does involve change. What I will say that when it comes to doing what we feel God is asking us to do or not, I have to be true to my faith.

We make decisions of course of various importance every day, but the tough ones; well……….  they’re very hard!

Sometimes I Just Need To Ask

There is no rhyme, form, or flow to this poem/prayer, only thoughts at the end of this day……

Sometimes I just need to ask Lord Sunset two on Crosby Lake-001

Who is it You want me to be

What is it You want me to do

Why am I asking You this

Is my faith lacking just now

I know that you teach us to ask

Whatever is laid on our heart

Why do I fear that the thing I most want

Is something I may never see

When I pray dear Lord

I know You are there

But sometimes the thought crosses my mind

That I’m not who You want me to be

That I don’t do what You want me to do

The things of this world

Distract me at times

And I just need You to know

That I want to be and I want to do

Whatever You’d like of me

I have just one more thing to ask

Please tell me what that would be

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Journal Entries 2000/2001 – Part 3

 

This is the third post of some journal entries I came across written 12 years ago, and for which I am posting in the hope that someone reading can perhaps identify with some of the feelings experienced, and realize that others have been where they are at the present time. My intention is not to draw attention to myself, only to maybe help someone else.

 

I’m not writing in entirety, leaving out some things that are not pertinent. Presently I am free from the darkness that I called it, and will post some of the positive things that helped me finally get there, with the final post. For those that know me and know some of what I write, they may wish to forgo reading these posts, and I understand. So I will continue on where I left off … Part One found here, Part two found here.

January 9th, 2001

My emotions have not improved much, but I’ll have to ride the wave, until calmer waters prevail. My split personality is that on the one side, I am a believer of Christ, but the other person inside is still a very fragile individual, according to the world’s standard… i.e. one with a constant battle with depression. Not that the ‘world’ really understands what it’s like, but the stereotype is definitely there. I know and see such strength in others; believers and non-believers. Here I am with my deep thoughts and unspoken fears…fears of what? “God is not the author of fear, but one of love, peace and a sound mind.” I love that scripture. Then why do I succumb to it at times?  It is true that if you know God’s word, it can be and is the only weapon I can verbalize at times like this.  I remind myself by quoting some of His words that are imbedded in my memory. “God will never leave you or forsake you”…  “Come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you  rest.” Even writing some of them  now is comforting. It’s like saying to the Lord… “I know that I know you are there, and love me, even if I am not acting like I do. Lord help Thou my unbelief!”

January 25th, 2001Went to see the Psychiatrist today, and told him how I was feeling. The fact that I’m grateful for all that I have, but continue to be an unhappy kind of person, which I don’t understand. He said maybe I was afraid to be happy!  I had thoughts at times along that path, but had to really think about it. It’s right in a way! I need to face the fact that I probably wonder if I dare to feel good, what will happen to me? Will I begin trusting or believing good things, only to have it shattered again? It sounds as though I’m being a coward. There are so many negative thoughts rolling around in my head, it’s hard to let positive thoughts stay awhile. I need to constantly try to put positive thoughts in… the more I put in, perhaps many will stay and crowd out the bad ones! I’m going to try to re-read the ‘reflections and memories” that I wrote a few months ago. I need to remind myself how much I have to be thankful for. Even as I write these words, my temperament is not changing.

Oh Lord, what are you going to do with me?

note:  I’m going to stop for now as don’t want to make these posts too long…   to be continued

People We Meet- People Who Care

Surround yourself with positive peopleI was on Facebook today and noticed something that just caught my eye and my attention. It was one of those sayings that people post, only this one I had some issues with.

Basically as the photo of it indicates, it says that we should surround ourselves with people who are of a positive nature and personality, and avoid the people who are the opposite; those who are not!

The reason I guess it had an effect, was because a lot of my life, was in a ‘depression’ mode.  I wasn’t constantly depressed, but it came and went often. During some of my darkest moments there were those who  definitely did not want to come around much. A lot of people just don’t know how to respond to a person who is in a negative state of emotions. Either that or they just didn’t want to!  I know that many just can’t handle those who are depressed. That does include some of those even that went to our church. I had one Christian friend (acquaintance) even point-blankly tell me that. She was totally an ‘up’ person and she wasn’t meaning to sound unkind when she said it, but I found it strange that she had no inkling of wanting to either.

I do understand that there are times when some need to try to be around positive energy as perhaps they themselves are going through a difficult time. Most of us have times like that; when our lives are in a state of confusion or dysfunction perhaps, and it is all that we can do to keep ourselves going. Our concentration is on our issues and it would be overwhelming to take on someone else’s  problems as well.  I also understand that there are some people who are just always contentious and don’t really want to be friends in the true sense of giving and receiving; and who can hinder your joy and spirit….. and  peace of mind.

Currently I am not in a state of ‘depression’ but this past year has been a very difficult one, both in physical issues and emotional.  There definitely has been a great sadness and a lot of stress, but I know the difference between that and the ‘darkness’ that depression brings. With that, you don’t have any hope, but with sadness or heart-ache one knows that it will not last forever; that there will be light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. That is what I know now. My faith and the support of those in my family and my church family,  many friends, and those of you who follow my blog and have offered comfort many times over, when I have reached out to you.

If everyone only ever surrounded themselves with positive people and negated all the others, it would be a sad world. Those who are in a time of need and are depressed need to know they are not alone. They need to know they are not unlovable even if they feel it. It’s up to those who can bring themselves to reach out, to put a kind arm around their shoulder; to give a hug; to just be there and listen to them if that’s what they need at the time.

I will always be grateful to those who have done that for me, in times of distress.

Support the people you love and allow them to support you-001Perhaps someone reading this can identify with the issue and knows someone who needs that loving validation and who can reach out to them with kindness and compassion.  I hope so!

Just A Few Christmas Thoughts

I’ve blogged a lot in this past few days, more than I have been doing lately because my heart has been troubled, but I’m not going to go into why. Not tonight, not on this day before the most wonderful night of the year. The night a small child was born in a little town of Bethlehem. A birth that would change the lives and hearts of many over hundreds and hundreds of years.

There are those that I blog with who aren’t Christians and then there are those who aren’t sure about the reality of that birth. They are my friends and I don’t base that friendship on whether or not they believe as I do.

But I must also be true to who I am and what I believe, especially at this time of year. Regardless of what trials or hurt I am experiencing, tomorrow is a day of celebration for me, and the world and all of its’ issues cannot rob me of the joy in remembering who came into the world that night over 2000 years ago.

Faith is not just a word, but a way of life. I have a basis for that faith because during my life Jesus has become real to me in so many ways. There have been joys, but there have been many sorrows and while going through some of those sad or even grieving times I may not have understood the reasons, but I have had my answers when I was in the right moment to receive them. There were things in my life that happened because of our human frailties, either my own or those of others. We all make choices, we all then have consequences to those choices; some good and some bad…. I was going to say and ‘some not so good’…. but to be honest there were some bad consequences. But it’s all okay, because it makes us who we are and in my case without some of those ‘not so good’ trials or consequences, I wouldn’t be here today and wouldn’t have had the chance to experience some of the greatest joys there is on this earth.

I didn’t mean to sound theological… I didn’t. I’m just sitting here 12:30 am late Monday night, and feeling the need to express myself.

A few words of a song that has come to mind maybe says how I feel…… “Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness, morning by morning new mercies I see,… All I have needed Thy hand hath provided… Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me”.

God’s faithfulness…. my reason for my ‘faith’.

Merry Christmas and God Bless!…..  Diane

p.s. I will just add that a fellow blogger, rarasaurs has a blog set up for Christmas Day where bloggers who may be having a difficult Christmas or are alone, can find someone to chat with ……. CAC  ‘Company for Christmas.’ It is intended to be non-political and non-religious as everyone is welcome. I will be there hopefully 11-12 Christmas Day and maybe later in the evening. If anyone else is interested you can visit the site by following this link.