Tag Archive | children

Thankfulness Mondays – Christmases Past

Week 26 (of 52) joining Bernadette of Haddon Musings, with her suggestion of posting for a year, of things large and small to give thanks for.

I was looking through some picture today and came across this one, and it reminded me of so many “Christmases Past’, and of all the ones we have been able to share. I am thankful for the memories instigated by photos kept over the years.

Taken in 1960

Taken in 1960

This picture was taken the first Christmas after we met. I was all of 15 and he 19… an older man! I know that would seem far too young nowadays for a serious relationship, but I guess we were older back then for our age. It’s been over 56 years (53 years married) that we have seen come and go. I know it’s common to ask where the time has gone and it doesn’t seem possible, that our family is now grown up and have children and one even a grandchild.

Those first years of raising them we ensured they knew the real meaning of Christmas, while allowing a little fantasy about Santa. I know that many Christians don’t believe that Santa should be part of Christmas, but he was never lifted up as being equal in importance as was Jesus, and that it was His birthday we celebrated.

Each of them in turn came to the realization as they grew older, that Santa was indeed a bearded man in a red suit but when confronted by them if he was real or not,  we let them in on the little secret. It was cute to watch the older ones ensure that the younger siblings did not find out that secret, ‘too soon’.

My husband and I still put up the crèche he made when our kids were very small, out of bits of wood and a little paint that we had on hand.

It just wouldn’t be the same without it!

Nativity creche made 40 years ago and which we still use today....

Nativity creche made over 50 years ago and which we still use today….

 

Thankfulness Mondays “Reblog’ Please Be Patient with Me –

Thankfulness Mondays – Reblog
I participate with Bernadette from Haddon Musings each Monday for a time, just being thankful for things large and small. This week since my sister is staying with us, I have posted a blog I did in 2012.
I am so grateful for friends and family who continued to love me during some very difficult times during periods of depression. I am also thankful for the past number of years that I have been released from what I called in one of my first blogs….as ‘The Darkness’… Diane

hometogo232

I’ve written a little about the fact that when there is a person with some form of mental illness how the people around can help them. But this is about the fact that maybe one of the most important things that a spouse, parent, sibling, friend or anyone connected with that person can do is to ‘be patient’.

That one thing while it seems so simple is anything else, ‘but’. It is something that must be demonstrated over and over again…and in many cases people just can’t do it. It wears thin after awhile. For me, it took my family and friends years of patience. Some couldn’t handle it and slowly pulled away. I don’t blame them really as it can be an exhausting situation. After all who wants to be around someone who is more often than not in a negative mood, and really can’t participate…

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A Letter to Donald Trump’s Children

As a Canadian and of course not voting in the United States election, I am not offering any profound statements about it…. but if I could….. I would send this letter to Donald Trump’s children.

Dear Donald Jr; Eric, Ivanka, Tiffany and Barron Trump,

With recent and earlier negative information that has come to the surface relating to your father from past years, I know that it must hurt to hear all of these things.

While we sometimes think we know our loved ones, even some qualities that are perhaps of the negative nature, like temper or impatience etc; we believe we know the essence of that person. And I believe that your father has been good, loving and kind towards all of you. I think he has disciplined and directed you in a positive way. Otherwise, you wouldn’t want to love and defend him.

Having to see now some of his past behaviour, words and actions that do not reflect what you know or believe of him, must be very difficult for you, and cause pain. Children and parents do not easily abandon each other, and I think it is very loving of you to stay faithful to your father.

You have seen and experienced the goodness of him, and so it is understandable that you do stand with him, and again. I think you are very loyal to do so. Take care!

Sincerely,

Diane

 

 

It’s Father’s Day Again.. Well Yesterday!

Each Father’s Day I am reminded that I did not have mine in my life growing up. I was the last of ten children, and about the time I was born, he was barred from coming to the home.

He was an alcoholic and a gambler, and though he fathered biologically 10 of us, that’s about the extent of his involvement.

My mother never derided him to me. What I learned was through my older siblings. I remember my oldest sister telling me that our father never held any of them and told them he loved them. In those days divorce was not as common as it is now, and women just stayed married. He didn’t physically abuse any of his children or my mother, until as I said around the time I came into the world.

My thought this year was just about why some men are not good fathers, and I came to the conclusion that they perhaps did not have a father to teach them or show them how to care for, teach and love like we expect fathers to be. I do know his mother was stern and lacking in the demonstration of affection… again hearing from my older sisters.

I would suppose generation after generation could react the same way unless there is an offsetting person to make a difference. In my family, that would be my mother. She had so much caring and nurturing within her, that it made the difference for my brothers and sisters.

She never demonstrated bitterness and she had plenty of reason to do so, as she never knew from day to day whether she would get money to buy necessary food and for other necessities of living.

Because of her gentle, loving and forgiving nature, we were able to then raise our sons ‘and daughters’ with the same qualities…. and although she remained separated from our father, and she could not at the time speak herself; when she was told he had died, tears rolled down her cheeks.

She still loved him!

Lisa’s Yesterday

Possible Trigger re Child Abuse
I seldom Reblog but there is a reason. Child Abuse is so real and prevalent today, though we maybe don’t want to believe it. Over 40 years ago we had a neighbour, a father of a child maybe 1-1 1/2 years old. He wasn’t very sociable but on occasion with his child in his arms he would pass the time of day. The thing is, in my spirit I just felt something wasn’t right. Sometimes I would hear the little girl cry, but I said .. “of course all children cry’…. One time it went on for awhile and still I rationalized it… I was so close to calling the police to investigate but I didn’t.. Why? because I thought..”what if I’m way off base; after all I don’t have any proof of any abuse etc.?” There came a point when I determined I had to follow through on my gut instinct; but when I did, he had moved very suddenly. Again, instead of doing something… there weren’t the hot lines like there are now… I told myself I was imagining or exaggerating the whole thing. But you know what? I still remember when I hear something like this story… “What if I was right, and I did nothing?” Diane

Ahhh the Memories !

Today’s assignment for Blogging 101, is to do a post that you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it. They also suggest adding a photo or video or some form of media.

Since my writing tends to be of a serious or matter of fact content quite often, I thought I’d write  something with a little humour, addressed to my three children, now adults of courses with children of their own.

Dear J.W; J.A; and K,

You have brought much joy to your father and I, but you have also brought much laughter and fun times, and memories.

Oh no!!!!

Oh no!!!!

J.W; Do you remember your early teen years, and one of them you were so disheartened by your hair? It was blond of course but so fine and thin, and you wanted it to be more ‘mod’ like the other boys you hung around with. I got the idea that if you got a ‘body’ perm it would thicken your hair up, so you could do more with it. Our neighbour just happened to be a hairstylist, and so we told her what we wanted; just more body or thickness. You went through the process of the highly toxic fumes of the perm, and we anxiously awaited the results. Well, you did have more body alright, but along with it you got lovely curls that resembled Shirley Temple. Our neighbour tried to reassure us that it would relax, and the curls wouldn’t remain. However it was not to be, and for the next few weeks, until your hair grew out some you were stuck with it. Oh, and of course you will always have a reminder of it because it so happened the school pictures were done at that time!

J.A; Do you remember that infamous day, I think you were 14 and you told us in your matter of fact way, that you wished to come and go without curfews or having to be home for supper if you chose not to? After all your friends didn’t have to. Do you remember your father’s and my reaction to your suggestion? We were adamant that while your friends perhaps had more freedom and leeway than you, we were not their parents, and unfortunately his request was ‘denied’.  You ran out the door and took off, and did not heed our calls to you to come back. When you didn’t return after a few minutes, your Dad and I took separate cars and went looking for you. We drove up and down the streets but to no avail. Finally I thought of the bus terminal and went to look there and sure enough, you were on the bus headed for Grandma’s and Grandpa’s place. I guess you do remember me stopping the bus as it pulled out of the loop, and telling the driver my son was on the bus, and I had to get him. When you saw me headed towards you, you looked away and then nodded your head that you weren’t going with me; but I guess when you saw I wasn’t going anywhere you begrudgingly gave in with a somewhat embarrassed look. Your mother had the same look on her face. Anyway, we went home and did more talking to affirm that unfortunately, your curfews remained intact.

K; Do you know what pain I took in always making sure that you and the boys were always dressed for the harshness of the winters in Ontario. We had hats, gloves, boots and snowsuits, to make sure that when you walked to school you would always be warm. I know that not every parent went to the lengths that I did, but you were stuck with me. I had such an assurance that I had done my duty, in assuring your well-being. So you know how shocked I was many years after the fact, to learn that you were embarrassed to be wearing a snowsuit when your other friends did not. So you solved the problem yourself apparently, by taking the snow pants off before you got to school stuffing them under a fence in a townhouse complex, where you would, upon returning from school put them back on so I would not know any difference. This has brought me many laughs as we recount the story, over the years since I found out. Who would have guessed I was causing you such embarrassment, leaving you to find such an innovative solution!

There are many more fun times we had, but they remain in my memories to be brought to mind frequently, especially when I look at old photos. I love you all dearly.

Jim Jeff and Paul Tromba-004 Jim Jeff and Paul Tromba-003 P1160256_edited-003

 

 

A Nice Surprise

6 of our grandchildren

6 of our grandchildren

IMG_1956 IMG_1961-002Sunday was my 70th birthday. It was a special day for me. I believed that my husband ‘W’ and I were going out with one of our sons ‘JA’and his wife, for dinner at a steakhouse on Saturday evening. My other son, ‘JW’, only 2 days earlier had to have some dental work that was very painful, and so I didn’t think we’d be seeing him and his wife until maybe Sunday or even Monday.

When we got to our son’s place to meet there before going to dinner, all seemed uneventful and we left for the restaurant. When we got there, our other son was there  and our daughter; as well as 7 of our 9 grandchildren and some other family members and a couple of girlfriends of our grandsons. Our daughter ‘K’ drove with her two sons from the Chicago area… her husband unable to because he was in China on business.

It was a total surprise… I had no idea. One of the reasons it didn’t cross my mind is that for my 65th birthday, which might have instigated a party, some of the family had some issues and so a family get-together was not possible. The situation while it had improved a great deal, I did not think it to be resolved; thereby not even thinking of a party. Some of you that have followed me for awhile might remember.

One of my sons, (the one that had dental issues)  is in audio/visual work and he had created a DVD with photos and old 8 mm videos taken many years ago when ‘W’ and I were dating, were married and then many with the children and other family members and friends. He had played background music of our era and also did some talking from time to time with some thoughts that he had. It was a half hour in length but it brought back memories and laughter for all present. Our grandchildren had never seen pictures etc. of their parents and grandparents at much earlier ages, and so really enjoyed it.

Tears (happy ones) flowed from me and from others as well. The tears were not only because of the DVD, but even more importantly for me, our family was together again in unity and spirit and laughter; and we had a family photo taken which we have not had, for a long time… Unfortunately 3 grandchildren and our great-granddaughter were not in them, but I’m hoping for one with everyone included, in the not too distant future.

I’m sorry this was a bit long, but I wanted to share some of my joy with you… my blogging friends.

I have been praying for this for such a long time it seems, and Saturday for my 70th birthday, God answered my prayers.

note.. I almost forgot; I received a brand new IPAD… something new to challenge my little gray cells!!!