Tag Archive | children

The Act of Forgiveness

For various reasons I’ve been thinking about the ‘act of forgiveness’.

What does it mean or what should it mean?

As an individual we believe that if a person says they are sorry, we ought to forgive them. As a Christian we believe that it is imperative that we forgive someone, even if they do not say they are sorry. Some would say that even if we aren’t feeling forgiving we ought to do so anyway, to free us … to release the anger and hurt we are feeling, and give it to God.

While I certainly believe that forgiveness ought to be our goal, I think sometimes it’s not as cut and dried for some. Should we ‘mouth’ the words without feeling it in our hearts? If it’s just words does it mean anything? As a comparison, I would say that if anyone were to say the words that they are told to say, in order to become a Christian without really understanding or meaning it, is it meaningful?

Would it perhaps be more apropos to pray for God to help us through our feelings, in order that we can honestly say that we forgive someone?

When we are Christians and parenting our children, how do we teach them about forgiveness? If they do something wrong do we simply force them to say that they are sorry, without helping them understand? Do we then forgive them? Sometimes there are consequences to their misbehaviour. Do we punish them in a manner that is equivalent in degree, that their behaviour was?

If we want to present a loving and forgiving God, do we then ensure that they see that compassion and understanding in us as parents? If we are extreme in the punishment we give, how then will this affect their views?

 

 

Just some thoughts !

Thankfulness Mondays – Just Pondering

Week 39 of (52) along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, posting of things to be thankful for in our lives, whether they are small or great significance.

Today I’m just thinking of our children; our two sons and one daughter.  From the time they are born, you realize what an important role you will have, in helping to guide them into being the best they can be. You hope to instill in them morals, values, faith in God, responsibility, kindness, love…. and just so much more.

You wonder how you will do this and if it is really possible. Then you just start living day by day, issue by issue, challenge by challenge, whether they are 3 or 10 or 15 years of age. The difficulties that arise each stage of life, whether at school or at home you try to help the best that you can, to guide them.

Now, we can look at our children in their 40’s and 50’s,  and who they have become, and can  say that our hopes dreams and prayers for them, have come to be.

We can see that they are happy, and I am full of thankfulness for that, especially to God, and have such a sense of peace and joy within.

 

Thankfulness Mondays – Christmases Past

Week 26 (of 52) joining Bernadette of Haddon Musings, with her suggestion of posting for a year, of things large and small to give thanks for.

I was looking through some picture today and came across this one, and it reminded me of so many “Christmases Past’, and of all the ones we have been able to share. I am thankful for the memories instigated by photos kept over the years.

Taken in 1960

Taken in 1960

This picture was taken the first Christmas after we met. I was all of 15 and he 19… an older man! I know that would seem far too young nowadays for a serious relationship, but I guess we were older back then for our age. It’s been over 56 years (53 years married) that we have seen come and go. I know it’s common to ask where the time has gone and it doesn’t seem possible, that our family is now grown up and have children and one even a grandchild.

Those first years of raising them we ensured they knew the real meaning of Christmas, while allowing a little fantasy about Santa. I know that many Christians don’t believe that Santa should be part of Christmas, but he was never lifted up as being equal in importance as was Jesus, and that it was His birthday we celebrated.

Each of them in turn came to the realization as they grew older, that Santa was indeed a bearded man in a red suit but when confronted by them if he was real or not,  we let them in on the little secret. It was cute to watch the older ones ensure that the younger siblings did not find out that secret, ‘too soon’.

My husband and I still put up the crèche he made when our kids were very small, out of bits of wood and a little paint that we had on hand.

It just wouldn’t be the same without it!

Nativity creche made 40 years ago and which we still use today....

Nativity creche made over 50 years ago and which we still use today….

 

Thankfulness Mondays “Reblog’ Please Be Patient with Me –

Thankfulness Mondays – Reblog
I participate with Bernadette from Haddon Musings each Monday for a time, just being thankful for things large and small. This week since my sister is staying with us, I have posted a blog I did in 2012.
I am so grateful for friends and family who continued to love me during some very difficult times during periods of depression. I am also thankful for the past number of years that I have been released from what I called in one of my first blogs….as ‘The Darkness’… Diane

hometogo232

I’ve written a little about the fact that when there is a person with some form of mental illness how the people around can help them. But this is about the fact that maybe one of the most important things that a spouse, parent, sibling, friend or anyone connected with that person can do is to ‘be patient’.

That one thing while it seems so simple is anything else, ‘but’. It is something that must be demonstrated over and over again…and in many cases people just can’t do it. It wears thin after awhile. For me, it took my family and friends years of patience. Some couldn’t handle it and slowly pulled away. I don’t blame them really as it can be an exhausting situation. After all who wants to be around someone who is more often than not in a negative mood, and really can’t participate…

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A Letter to Donald Trump’s Children

As a Canadian and of course not voting in the United States election, I am not offering any profound statements about it…. but if I could….. I would send this letter to Donald Trump’s children.

Dear Donald Jr; Eric, Ivanka, Tiffany and Barron Trump,

With recent and earlier negative information that has come to the surface relating to your father from past years, I know that it must hurt to hear all of these things.

While we sometimes think we know our loved ones, even some qualities that are perhaps of the negative nature, like temper or impatience etc; we believe we know the essence of that person. And I believe that your father has been good, loving and kind towards all of you. I think he has disciplined and directed you in a positive way. Otherwise, you wouldn’t want to love and defend him.

Having to see now some of his past behaviour, words and actions that do not reflect what you know or believe of him, must be very difficult for you, and cause pain. Children and parents do not easily abandon each other, and I think it is very loving of you to stay faithful to your father.

You have seen and experienced the goodness of him, and so it is understandable that you do stand with him, and again. I think you are very loyal to do so. Take care!

Sincerely,

Diane

 

 

It’s Father’s Day Again.. Well Yesterday!

Each Father’s Day I am reminded that I did not have mine in my life growing up. I was the last of ten children, and about the time I was born, he was barred from coming to the home.

He was an alcoholic and a gambler, and though he fathered biologically 10 of us, that’s about the extent of his involvement.

My mother never derided him to me. What I learned was through my older siblings. I remember my oldest sister telling me that our father never held any of them and told them he loved them. In those days divorce was not as common as it is now, and women just stayed married. He didn’t physically abuse any of his children or my mother, until as I said around the time I came into the world.

My thought this year was just about why some men are not good fathers, and I came to the conclusion that they perhaps did not have a father to teach them or show them how to care for, teach and love like we expect fathers to be. I do know his mother was stern and lacking in the demonstration of affection… again hearing from my older sisters.

I would suppose generation after generation could react the same way unless there is an offsetting person to make a difference. In my family, that would be my mother. She had so much caring and nurturing within her, that it made the difference for my brothers and sisters.

She never demonstrated bitterness and she had plenty of reason to do so, as she never knew from day to day whether she would get money to buy necessary food and for other necessities of living.

Because of her gentle, loving and forgiving nature, we were able to then raise our sons ‘and daughters’ with the same qualities…. and although she remained separated from our father, and she could not at the time speak herself; when she was told he had died, tears rolled down her cheeks.

She still loved him!

Lisa’s Yesterday

Possible Trigger re Child Abuse
I seldom Reblog but there is a reason. Child Abuse is so real and prevalent today, though we maybe don’t want to believe it. Over 40 years ago we had a neighbour, a father of a child maybe 1-1 1/2 years old. He wasn’t very sociable but on occasion with his child in his arms he would pass the time of day. The thing is, in my spirit I just felt something wasn’t right. Sometimes I would hear the little girl cry, but I said .. “of course all children cry’…. One time it went on for awhile and still I rationalized it… I was so close to calling the police to investigate but I didn’t.. Why? because I thought..”what if I’m way off base; after all I don’t have any proof of any abuse etc.?” There came a point when I determined I had to follow through on my gut instinct; but when I did, he had moved very suddenly. Again, instead of doing something… there weren’t the hot lines like there are now… I told myself I was imagining or exaggerating the whole thing. But you know what? I still remember when I hear something like this story… “What if I was right, and I did nothing?” Diane