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JUST A NOTE – Number ???

While many/most of you likely don’t even realize when I read posts or write them; as I am sure that you have many followers and blogs that you read; I am just sitting here trying to see if I can concentrate long enough to be active here on WordPress, and thought I’d write a note (again) .

I’ve alluded to not feeling my best, but feel so bad, when I can’t do what I want to do; can’t make my eyes focus clearly sometimes because of fatigue.  While I have M.S. I don’t think it’s that; could be part of it, but not all I don’t think. I’ve been through so many tests, I don’t think many can be left or specialists either. I have had one diagnosis of ‘severe spinal stenosis’ and will need to see a Neurosurgeon to see what options there are.

I’m also going to see my General Practitioner in a week or so; She wants to go over all the tests and symptoms etc; as she’s been on maternity leave, and has missed most of what’s been going on. I think that will be good, because then at least I’ll have an idea of where we go from here.

In the midst of this though, I’m not happy that I may miss some of what’s going on in your lives or posts. I think I’m repeating myself; and if so I apologize for doing so; but I’ll be trying to grab some moments when I can, to keep in touch.

There is such an awareness within me, that I am talking too much about ‘me’….. You’re my friends, and I just didn’t want you to think I didn’t care anymore!    (Diane )

Oh, for my Canadian friends Happy 150th Canada DayFor my American friends Happy Independence Day….

 

Thankfulness Mondays – “Thank You”

It’s week 51 (of 52) that I and others joined Bernadette of ‘Haddon Musings’, posting and being aware of many things to be thankful for in our lives. Unfortunately Bernadette very recently has had to pull away from blogging, due to a very emotional time in her life. She will be losing her son, who has been ill for many years. There may be other bloggers, if you follow her link, that you might like to read.

This is the second to last post, based on this topic, and I would like to tell you how thankful I am for those who follow me. I have always tried to read the posts of those I follow, but lately because of the challenges in my life, it has been very difficult to do. In retrospect, t seems as though the past few years have been wrought with different types of difficulties.

I know that we all have them and usually we grow stronger as we go through them. If I re-read many of my blogs, there were estrangements, grieving the loss of loved ones, worrying about issues in our lives, or illnesses of those we care about, or things we are experiencing  ourselves. I do indeed write about them, as it helps me to do so.

Support and love has always been offered and given by many. Sometimes (a lot of times actually)… I feel I’ve taken much more than  personally  I’ve given.

So for you, my very kind, supportive, understanding blogging friends, thank you for listening, for thoughts, prayers, and for the patience that you’ve shown when I’m not able to keep up with your blogs, your needs, your concerns.

Right now, I’m just waiting for some answers, and often just tired.

I fully expect to be looking back at this time, and to realize that it was just ‘life’… all of it; and it will only make me appreciate and emphasize the fullness and joy that overrides all the difficulties.

So again I say thank you for your understanding and indulgence…… I will of course be trying to keep up as much as possible.

Romans 8 vs. 37

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

 

Sometimes Moments of the Past… Creep Back

Yesterday, for a short time some moments of the past crept in. It happened in a matter of a few words spoken.

I won’t expand on all the details, but it so quickly took me for a surprise, and evoked feelings that were like those when I was going through a time of depression.

The anxiety that I felt was hard to contain and I didn’t.  The initial aspects only lasted minutes, but the emotions that surfaced are still with me today.

It is strange how a word, can lead to a phrase, that then leads to expressions…. that then lead to emotional reactions.

These past few weeks, I have had some challenges with my health. (It seems to me the word, ‘again’ fits) I guess it goes with age some of it. One of the issues was that I ended up in emergency a couple of weeks ago, because I woke up at 3 am not really speaking or making sense. It is possible that it was a mini stroke (TIA) but equally possible it was something else.  There are some other issues, but won’t go into them.

The only reason I mention that last part, is that I guess, not feeling well, it leaves me vulnerable to over-reaction of words spoken, or perceived criticism, whether there or not.

Anyway, that’s what the left-overs of depression, that sometimes ‘lurk’ in the recesses of your mind, can do to a person years later, if conditions are at all present.

For awhile my strength was very much diminished. I know by the end of today, with God’s help,  I will be okay and my physical and emotional well-being will be as it should.

I write this only as more information, that may help or educate one who suffers/suffered with depression, or one who lives with a person who does………….. I guess I also wrote it to just ‘write’ it! ??

(p.s. I’m somewhat slow in catching up on your blogs; I was also away for 3 days with my sister. I’m hoping to gradually catch up) ………………….. Diane xx

Thankfulness Mondays – “In Spite Of”

Week 50 (of 52).  I’ve been blogging with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, and several others of things in our lives or of things around us, that we are thankful for, and that perhaps offset negative situations around us and in the world.

Before I go any further, my thoughts and many others go out to Bernadette, who has of late had a great sadness and while she is I know and has been very grateful and thankful in abundance, is now experiencing one of those times that we most likely all will or have faced in our lifetime; a time of grieving. Her son is and has been not well for many years, but the family now faces the fact that they will likely lose him very soon. She has therefore taken a hiatus from blogging for a time. My heart goes out to her, but I so appreciate even the fact that she has over this past ‘almost year’ given me pause to appreciate the blessings in my life. May she find the peace, healing and strength that she needs in the days ahead.

Like Bernadette, there are many who are struggling with one area or another.  The people who of late, are being terrorized in U.K; Afghanistan, France, Syria and so many other places; one would think have very little to be thankful for.

When one sees and hears of their strength of perseverance, the heroism of many, and their determination to not give into fear and hate, in spite of’ the atrocities that are happening to them.  I am so thankful when I hear that their spirits, while very wounded, their physical well-beings are challenged, and the sanctity of life is being so disrespected; the vast majority of people do not want to give up; do not want this violence to control or consume their lives.

One doesn’t just have to look at the present but the past also. How it might be the easier route to just throw up your hands, and in fact just give up on the human race.

But we don’t and we can’t, just as in our personal lives we must persevere with what we face in life. Sometimes, we do need a time of quietness of mind and spirit, or in the case of a personal loss to grieve and to heal.

But as nations and people, we must try not to let the trying and even tumultuous events that befall us ‘defeat us or define us’, and when I look around the world today, the spirit of ‘man/woman’ wages on and we are not defeated!

 

 

Thankfulness Mondays – Humour Amidst Chaos

Under the wire… but Week 45 (of 52) weeks posting with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, for things and areas of our lives, that we have to be thankful for and to offset the negativity that can surround us..

Well, I’m definitely thankful the actual move is done. It’s been exhausting really, and it will be awhile until we’re settled.

The night of the move, I found myself chuckling. Here my husband was putting together two of three items we ordered online and were delivered that day to the new apartment. He was muttering to himself things like “they sent the wrong part”, or…. ” the directions don’t make any sense, or….. the picture they show doesn’t match their directions etc. etc.

I found myself trying to do something, and I was doing the very same thing, muttering away to myself and not expecting any replies or conversation.. just muttering. I then realized what a pair we were!

As it turns out he got everything assembled though one of them was a real challenge; with so many screws, nuts and bolts, along with pieces to put together… A & B go opposite C & D; an so on and so on. I on the other did not solve my dilemma, but now I have the internet and I will ‘google’ to find my answer!

It was a tough move, as the older one gets of course the less energy one has. But I am thankful for the ability to laugh in the midst of the chaos of moving!

P.S. For those who gave their thoughts and prayers for my sister; she is out of the hospital but the doctors have advised her not to live alone now, with her condition as it is. She has the opportunity of moving to a Senior’s building where there is 24 hour medical help if there is a need, and also some meals each month, and activities if she wants. She’ll still have an apartment, though small; it will still be her ‘own’ ! Thank You for caring! …..Diane

Thankfulness Mondays – Lessons Learned

This is week 35 of 52 joining with Bernadette of Haddon Musings for reasons large and small to be thankful for in our lives, with the intention of perhaps offsetting the negative aspects of life.

This past week I’ve been at my sister “M” ‘s home, and we were reminiscing our growing up years. She’s 5 years older than I, and not in the best health. but we both had many of the same memories. We thought of our mother, and our other 8 siblings.

We thought about how strong a woman she was, and how we have taken on many of her traits. We thought about the unconditional love she had, but also the way we were raised. The appreciation that we feel, for teaching ‘us’ how to love and to support one another. If one of us is hurting we try to be there. If one of us needs something we try to be there.

There are only 3 of us that are remaining now, and our brother and his wife are going through a difficult time. We went to see them and when leaving, there were tears forming in his eyes; this brother who rarely showed his feelings in such a visible way. His wife has a neurological disease of ‘unknown origin’, that now after many years of deterioration, is waiting for placement in a home, where she can receive 24 hour care. He has tried valiantly for her to remain at home, but it has become impossible to continue.

My sister lost her husband later in July of 2015.

So you may wonder what I have to be thankful for…..  and it is that we were raised by a mother who had compassion, strength, faith, and unconditional love, in order that we might show it to not only our families, but to others as well.

If one has not been the recipient of such love, it is difficult (but not impossible) to give it to others.

Six of us 2015 Brother and His Wife in center

Six of us 2015
Brother and His Wife in center

John 13:34-35New International Version (NIV)

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

 

Thankfulness Monday ‘early’

In participating with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, I’m doing the post Thankfulness Mondays early,  because I was nominated for the Mystery Blogger award, by Cheri of Joyously Hopeful, who writes beautifully about many things, but especially of children with special needs. She is the mother of a child with autism and does so,to encourage and inform others  about autism.

Although I don’t participate in the award process, I do acknowledge and am thankful to Cheri for the nomination.

While I don’t actually take part anymore the questions she was asking the nominees, got me thinking so I thought I would answer them, in a post

Note….After doing the first one, I realize I can’t do all of them in one post, as it would be too long, I  will do the others at a later date.
  1. What is a cause that is worth dedicating your life to?
  2. What’s your “Back in my day, we…”?
  3. If coffee was illegal, what would its street name be?
  4. What movie title best describes your life?
  5. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under?

1.  I can say that I have a personal cause or goal for my life, and one for outside my own world. The personal one is to encourage and perhaps have some influence in my grandchildren and great-grandchild’s life. My desire for them is to realize what the most important things in life are; to love and support ‘unconditionally’  their family,  especially during difficult times when it’s not so easy to do, and to care and have compassion for everyone.

 My hope  and prayer also, is that they will want God to be an important part in the years ahead, in all that they do 

6 of our grandchildren

6 of our grandchildren

The other cause that has been part of me, and impacts me is the plight of those in other parts of the world, or even in our own country who are without hope or justice. Those who don’t have even the basic necessities of life. I worked for many years for a Christian non-profit organization World Vision, and it gave me joy to be a part of helping in some way. We still participate in sponsoring a child and their community.

I’ll leave it there….oh except I think I will answer #5… ‘under’ of course; it’s the only way to go !   ha!