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JUST A NOTE – Number ???

While many/most of you likely don’t even realize when I read posts or write them; as I am sure that you have many followers and blogs that you read; I am just sitting here trying to see if I can concentrate long enough to be active here on WordPress, and thought I’d write a note (again) .

I’ve alluded to not feeling my best, but feel so bad, when I can’t do what I want to do; can’t make my eyes focus clearly sometimes because of fatigue.  While I have M.S. I don’t think it’s that; could be part of it, but not all I don’t think. I’ve been through so many tests, I don’t think many can be left or specialists either. I have had one diagnosis of ‘severe spinal stenosis’ and will need to see a Neurosurgeon to see what options there are.

I’m also going to see my General Practitioner in a week or so; She wants to go over all the tests and symptoms etc; as she’s been on maternity leave, and has missed most of what’s been going on. I think that will be good, because then at least I’ll have an idea of where we go from here.

In the midst of this though, I’m not happy that I may miss some of what’s going on in your lives or posts. I think I’m repeating myself; and if so I apologize for doing so; but I’ll be trying to grab some moments when I can, to keep in touch.

There is such an awareness within me, that I am talking too much about ‘me’….. You’re my friends, and I just didn’t want you to think I didn’t care anymore!    (Diane )

Oh, for my Canadian friends Happy 150th Canada DayFor my American friends Happy Independence Day….

 

Thankfulness Mondays – A Year to Remember ! Plus – Painting

Week 52 (of 52) begun by Bernadette of Haddon Musings; blogging once a week of things in our lives. sometimes that  if we don’t really think about may go unnoticed as a blessing. Others have participated also, but Bernadette had to stop for a time, to take time to grieve. She lost her son just last week, and when I have mentioned it in the last couple of posts, there have been many bloggers, who have given their condolences, thoughts and prayers to her and family. I hope by giving  the link to her site, she will receive a notification and know of them.

On this my last post of this specific topic (although I’m sure I will at some point be doing other posts on being thankful); I am thankful that I took time to begin painting again. Of course it is only of an amateur level, but I started back in the spring of 2014, and in the past few months because of moving plans, and other issues, I haven’t been doing any.

It’s something I do casually, and really don’t have the knowledge for so many techniques, but as I start back I’m hoping to work at learning some of the aspects that will help me improve. But for now, I’m just happy to have started again. I should mention that Inese from Inese Poga Art and Creative Discoveries   has give me various tips to help me.I haven’t worked out the logistics yet of where I’m going to paint, although being in an apartment now, there are less choices. But I have the materials that I use in plastic drawers on wheels, so I can move it easily.

For this time however, I just plunked myself down on the floor! My husband took a few pictures, and I included the painting that I did!

OOPS PRESSED PUBLISH TOO EARLY

As a side note I’ll be blogging on whatever enters my mind in the coming months! But this past year has really helped me to realize just how much I do have to be thankful for….. thanks to the inspiration of another blogger! Also I will also mention that I am still going through some health issues, tests etc. Thanks to all for thoughts, wishes, and prayers

 

Thankfulness Mondays – “Thank You”

It’s week 51 (of 52) that I and others joined Bernadette of ‘Haddon Musings’, posting and being aware of many things to be thankful for in our lives. Unfortunately Bernadette very recently has had to pull away from blogging, due to a very emotional time in her life. She will be losing her son, who has been ill for many years. There may be other bloggers, if you follow her link, that you might like to read.

This is the second to last post, based on this topic, and I would like to tell you how thankful I am for those who follow me. I have always tried to read the posts of those I follow, but lately because of the challenges in my life, it has been very difficult to do. In retrospect, t seems as though the past few years have been wrought with different types of difficulties.

I know that we all have them and usually we grow stronger as we go through them. If I re-read many of my blogs, there were estrangements, grieving the loss of loved ones, worrying about issues in our lives, or illnesses of those we care about, or things we are experiencing  ourselves. I do indeed write about them, as it helps me to do so.

Support and love has always been offered and given by many. Sometimes (a lot of times actually)… I feel I’ve taken much more than  personally  I’ve given.

So for you, my very kind, supportive, understanding blogging friends, thank you for listening, for thoughts, prayers, and for the patience that you’ve shown when I’m not able to keep up with your blogs, your needs, your concerns.

Right now, I’m just waiting for some answers, and often just tired.

I fully expect to be looking back at this time, and to realize that it was just ‘life’… all of it; and it will only make me appreciate and emphasize the fullness and joy that overrides all the difficulties.

So again I say thank you for your understanding and indulgence…… I will of course be trying to keep up as much as possible.

Romans 8 vs. 37

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

 

Sometimes Moments of the Past… Creep Back

Yesterday, for a short time some moments of the past crept in. It happened in a matter of a few words spoken.

I won’t expand on all the details, but it so quickly took me for a surprise, and evoked feelings that were like those when I was going through a time of depression.

The anxiety that I felt was hard to contain and I didn’t.  The initial aspects only lasted minutes, but the emotions that surfaced are still with me today.

It is strange how a word, can lead to a phrase, that then leads to expressions…. that then lead to emotional reactions.

These past few weeks, I have had some challenges with my health. (It seems to me the word, ‘again’ fits) I guess it goes with age some of it. One of the issues was that I ended up in emergency a couple of weeks ago, because I woke up at 3 am not really speaking or making sense. It is possible that it was a mini stroke (TIA) but equally possible it was something else.  There are some other issues, but won’t go into them.

The only reason I mention that last part, is that I guess, not feeling well, it leaves me vulnerable to over-reaction of words spoken, or perceived criticism, whether there or not.

Anyway, that’s what the left-overs of depression, that sometimes ‘lurk’ in the recesses of your mind, can do to a person years later, if conditions are at all present.

For awhile my strength was very much diminished. I know by the end of today, with God’s help,  I will be okay and my physical and emotional well-being will be as it should.

I write this only as more information, that may help or educate one who suffers/suffered with depression, or one who lives with a person who does………….. I guess I also wrote it to just ‘write’ it! ??

(p.s. I’m somewhat slow in catching up on your blogs; I was also away for 3 days with my sister. I’m hoping to gradually catch up) ………………….. Diane xx

Thankfulness Mondays – “In Spite Of”

Week 50 (of 52).  I’ve been blogging with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, and several others of things in our lives or of things around us, that we are thankful for, and that perhaps offset negative situations around us and in the world.

Before I go any further, my thoughts and many others go out to Bernadette, who has of late had a great sadness and while she is I know and has been very grateful and thankful in abundance, is now experiencing one of those times that we most likely all will or have faced in our lifetime; a time of grieving. Her son is and has been not well for many years, but the family now faces the fact that they will likely lose him very soon. She has therefore taken a hiatus from blogging for a time. My heart goes out to her, but I so appreciate even the fact that she has over this past ‘almost year’ given me pause to appreciate the blessings in my life. May she find the peace, healing and strength that she needs in the days ahead.

Like Bernadette, there are many who are struggling with one area or another.  The people who of late, are being terrorized in U.K; Afghanistan, France, Syria and so many other places; one would think have very little to be thankful for.

When one sees and hears of their strength of perseverance, the heroism of many, and their determination to not give into fear and hate, in spite of’ the atrocities that are happening to them.  I am so thankful when I hear that their spirits, while very wounded, their physical well-beings are challenged, and the sanctity of life is being so disrespected; the vast majority of people do not want to give up; do not want this violence to control or consume their lives.

One doesn’t just have to look at the present but the past also. How it might be the easier route to just throw up your hands, and in fact just give up on the human race.

But we don’t and we can’t, just as in our personal lives we must persevere with what we face in life. Sometimes, we do need a time of quietness of mind and spirit, or in the case of a personal loss to grieve and to heal.

But as nations and people, we must try not to let the trying and even tumultuous events that befall us ‘defeat us or define us’, and when I look around the world today, the spirit of ‘man/woman’ wages on and we are not defeated!

 

 

Thankfulness Mondays – “In Their Thoughts!”

Week 48 (of 52)…… I’ve been posting along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, of the many things in our lives we have to be thankful for, sometimes they are small and may go unnoticed, and other times they can be very obvious. We hope that by doing so, it may offset for us and others, the negative areas in our lives.

Today I’m thankful for those in my life, who I know are available when I need advice, prayer or when I just need to realize that I am in their thoughts.

It is important not only for me but I believe many, when there is an area of concern in our lives; that someone makes us aware that they care and are willing to listen. Sometimes that’s all that is necessary. Actually since I first mentioned that my husband and I were moving, and the various issues and concerns I had, people were so kind to offer their support. There were friends, family and those in the blogging community who all made the move easier, by their help and their encouragement.

Since the move I have been very tired and not feeling as well, as I’d like,  but I know ‘this too shall pass’. When we get overwhelmed it is so easy to let the issue ‘mushroom’ in our minds, but when there are those who we can ‘vent’ to, and just express our frustrations and feelings, the problem is then put back into perspective.

We  can then re-focus and realize we just need to take one day at a time.

So today, I am very thankful for those who keep me in their thoughts, and who have offered to listen, to encourage and to let me know they care! That is most definitely many of ‘you’. !!!

Thankfulness Monday ‘early’

In participating with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, I’m doing the post Thankfulness Mondays early,  because I was nominated for the Mystery Blogger award, by Cheri of Joyously Hopeful, who writes beautifully about many things, but especially of children with special needs. She is the mother of a child with autism and does so,to encourage and inform others  about autism.

Although I don’t participate in the award process, I do acknowledge and am thankful to Cheri for the nomination.

While I don’t actually take part anymore the questions she was asking the nominees, got me thinking so I thought I would answer them, in a post

Note….After doing the first one, I realize I can’t do all of them in one post, as it would be too long, I  will do the others at a later date.
  1. What is a cause that is worth dedicating your life to?
  2. What’s your “Back in my day, we…”?
  3. If coffee was illegal, what would its street name be?
  4. What movie title best describes your life?
  5. Which way should toilet paper hang, over or under?

1.  I can say that I have a personal cause or goal for my life, and one for outside my own world. The personal one is to encourage and perhaps have some influence in my grandchildren and great-grandchild’s life. My desire for them is to realize what the most important things in life are; to love and support ‘unconditionally’  their family,  especially during difficult times when it’s not so easy to do, and to care and have compassion for everyone.

 My hope  and prayer also, is that they will want God to be an important part in the years ahead, in all that they do 

6 of our grandchildren

6 of our grandchildren

The other cause that has been part of me, and impacts me is the plight of those in other parts of the world, or even in our own country who are without hope or justice. Those who don’t have even the basic necessities of life. I worked for many years for a Christian non-profit organization World Vision, and it gave me joy to be a part of helping in some way. We still participate in sponsoring a child and their community.

I’ll leave it there….oh except I think I will answer #5… ‘under’ of course; it’s the only way to go !   ha!