Why Is It?

I was sitting here just wondering why exactly it is, that some people just won’t be ‘real’ with you. Sometimes, there are people who won’t open up and say what it is that perhaps is bothering them; or the two of you know, but only one wants to bring it out into the open and discuss it honestly, calmly and in some cases, lovingly.

There is one, who is hoping against hope that the other, will bridge the subject that is causing a wedge between them. One wants to clear the air, but the other wants to avoid doing so. One is hoping to hear some words or encouragement and understanding, but the other withholds giving it to them.

There is an air of doubt, there is an air of ‘don’t ask, and don’t expect too much from me.

Someone might think that just blurting out what you want to talk about might be the answer. However, the person in question knows from previous experience, they can’t do that. There is an invisible wall that prevents unwanted entry.

Why is it though? Is it pride? Is it lack of caring? Is it unwillingness to forgive? Is it lack of wanting to broach a subject they just don’t want to talk about?

Maybe it’s a little of everything. It’s too bad though, because it leaves one person feeling sometimes sad, sometimes hurt, or sometimes that they just wish they themselves didn’t care either!

 

20 thoughts on “Why Is It?

  1. I totally get what you’re saying. I think it’s all about pain; either you don’t want to inflict it, or have it inflicted upon you. We are inherently afraid of all pain. Which is too bad, since good things often result after pain. I’m guilty of this, especially with my own family. I’m afraid to speak up for fear of being rejected yet again. It’s complicated, but simple, isn’t it. I used to think writing down our thoughts was a way around such discussions, but that is definitely not the way to go. Let me know if you find the answer.

    Liked by 1 person

        • Michele I used to have a lot of fears, but I did realize that they had to be given to God… ‘perfect love casts out fears.. and one of my favourite verses was ‘God did not give us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind’… I especially learned that during my depression years…..In some cases the fear does not come to us, but to others who perhaps want to close off their emotions… Don’t know if that makes sense or not…. Diane

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          • Believe me, I am much better now, but I too have struggled with fear-it is crippling and not a healthy practice-I feared what might happen, often. Most of the time, the things I feared never happened. I can say, I do not fear as I did-but wow when I get ferful, it takes me a while to shake it. I wish you a day, a while, a life without fear. xx love Michele

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  2. Diane – C.S. Lewis once said, “to love is to be vulnerable.” But sometimes we put walls up (think Star Trek “shields up!”) Maybe it’s protection (or over-protection), pride, fear, that our relationship will change if we let our shields down, or what is said might hurt? It’s hard to keep loving on folks who act like beanheads. We can’t control them, we can only control our reactions to them (& pray for God’s understanding, love & forgiveness to overflow in & thru us.) ‘Taint easy!
    pax et bonum – Virginia 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • ‘Taint easy’ kind of sums it up…. when one determines that it might be better to leave things as they are, than to close doors… (especially if they’ve been closed before) And another point that you made, about only being able to control how we react… That’s a hard lesson but very very true… Diane

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  3. This is so true for many of us, Diane. I have experienced it with family to the point where it is … simply put, unhealthy for me to try anymore. I knew the two causing the problems always blamed me but never thought they’d be so mean-spirited and unwilling to fix issues that all stem from the way they live and hurt others around them, yet blame others. I tried over and over through the years to talk things out and explain how hurtful they have been and they refuse to talk, even being mean saying it’s all my fault. I’m the fixer. I’m the caregiver. Yet I’m to blame. Never made sense to me since it actually started happening when I was a child. It took me too long to realize that my complete health and heart need to be put first now. Forgive and move on but it’s time to get that whole thing out of my life. The stress is causing me health problems too. Sometimes it is just time to move on and that’s okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is most certainly okay Heather, when you are in the midst of a situation that is causing you not only emotional trauma… but physically affecting you as well. I know what you speak of for sure. To want to just clear the air, and hope everyone will come together, is just seemingly sometimes not going to happen. So, we either should move on or maybe in some cases we just accept the situation… Diane ❤

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    • 2nd reply… only to let you maybe know that the link to your blog is questionable… Blank page and if you click on home it takes one to another site?? Just thought you might want to check Diane

      Like

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