Well, we’re back from our visit to the Chicago area, to our daughter and family. We got back late Monday night with a somewhat turbulent and delayed flight, but nonetheless having had a wonderful few days at Christmas with them.
The first night there I had a very disturbed sleep. I hardly slept at all, and when I did I had dreams that were not very nice. I hesitate to call them nightmares but in fact there was not anything happy in any of them.
When I was trying to get a meaning of what was in them and why I was having them, it occurred to me they represented some of my innate concerns. Some things that are within that we don’t really want to acknowledge, but are there. As I thought about them the words ‘frailties, fears and future came to mind.
Some of what I recall, was that I became aware of some of my conflicts between some of my actions and some of my core beliefs…. what feels like ‘right vs wrong’ decisions that I make. Some choices could be better; in that I feel sometimes that I am a hypocrite; saying one thing but feeling or doing the opposite. I find that there is an internal struggle at times. I label that my frailties.
Another of the dreams was to do with a reality of the past, and some current, but a continued inward fear to do with familial issues. I label that my ‘fears’.
The third and perhaps most important realization, is ‘future‘…. and that is that I know that God can forgive me my frailties, and help me when I seek Him; He can allay my fears when I ask Him to help me deal with them; and in Him I give the ‘future’, not only for me but for all of those I love . I know that He loves them even more than I do, and so He wants the best for them.
So while these ‘dreams’ gave me a very unsettled night and upset me somewhat, my husband helped to comfort me and these dreams gave me food for thought! (Now I need to catch up on reading some blogs)…..