When I am Old and Gray Do not Forsake Me O God -Memories

I wrote this shortly after I started blogging, and thought I might reblog it for some who are more recent followers… Diane


This is another of things that I wrote in the past, which I have been recently been going through. This was written in the 1980’s when my mother lived in a nursing home. It was very difficult for me during the 7 years that she did. She had been a vibrant and exuberant woman prior to having an aneurysm and consequent brain surgery, during which her health declined. She lived with different children during the years after, mostly with me and my family.

There came a time however when we could no longer care for our loving mother in our homes. This letter was written during that time. It was published in our newspaper.

“This letter is written to anyone who has a relative or friend living in a nursing home, and who hasn’t visited them recently.

My mother is in a home and each week when I visit her…

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7 thoughts on “When I am Old and Gray Do not Forsake Me O God -Memories

  1. That is such a lovely idea. You mentioned your 4 year old son. I know sometimes it may confuse children with seeing and hearing older people that are unwell, as I remember taking our granddaughter to visit my mother. I tried to explain how it is sometimes with older people, but that’s when it became apparent to me that one needs to talk to a child before taking them so that they aren’t surprised when it happens.
    The nursing homes that are connected to a church are the best if at all possible to go there, as there is sometimes a compassionate caring that isn’t always present in abundance in some other ones…. though I’m sure many do try! Diane


  2. This post struck a chord with me- over the years, I have visited nursing homes to visit family friends, relatives and even take school kids there to sing. Your post reminded me of my most recent visit (a few weeks ago) to my husband’s 90 year old Gran. She was in a sitting room with about 30 other people. One lady was making loud, involuntary noises and everyone was staring at us and, in particular, our 4 year old son, trying to talk to him. We were overwhelmed, and at the same time, terribly sorry for Gran; she had gone straight to a nursing home from hospital and would have been missing her husband so much. My husband was able to help her into the front room so we could have some quiet conversation and give Gran a little sunshine. I wondered how many people have visitors and I wanted to return with some entertainment some day. Gran was moved to a nursing home where one of her friends was and where her old church runs a service for the residents. I have been asked to organize a group of carollers to sing to a guy who has MS (at his home), so I’m thinking of taking the same group to sing to Gran’s nursing home, with permission.

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  3. This letter truly speaks to me. It kills me that we don’t visit Mom more often. It is so difficult, and while she is happy to see us, once we’re there we simply sit and watch NCIS reruns. Still I feel guilty, though she’s not my mother. Still, I can’t force husband to go, though I do nag him. (The only thing I nag him about.)

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    • I don’t know how much she talks to you or has any interest, but watching tv is at least being there and she knows someone does care. There’s not two ways about it; it’s hard. If she just has a room, maybe some time you might ask her if she’d like a few pictures up maybe of some of the family.. or bring her in a surprise once in awhile to see her face brighten up… It’s really just little things that are needed.. Diane

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