Even after being married for over 50 years, there are times that communication is lacking.
I know that I’ve written previously on whether or not to say anything negative if it’s not necessary,to let it just go. That’s still hold true, especially if it will cause hurt to someone else.
There’s times though between you and someone else; especially someone close such as a friend, spouse or other relative. that we wonder if we should explain to them something that caused perhaps confusion or upset or ruffled our feelings. Maybe we decide not to bother, but inside we’re really wanting to tell them what they said or did had an affect on us.
Sometimes I know that I’m thinking to myself that ‘he/she’ should have known me by now, and that my feelings tend to get hurt if something is said. Or perhaps, I’m thinking that I told him/her before about this and yet here they are repeating the same thing.
I’m ‘big’ on communicating fears/hurts/wants, because I think it’s really a very important aspect of a relationship. In fact when asked often by others, what they think is the success of making it to 50 years I would answer communication and forgiveness. Now I know there’s a lot more to marriage than that, and not easy to simplify, however, I do think those two are very important.
Whenever I do get feeling that he/she has ‘done/said’ it again, and should have known me by now, I realize that I’m assuming that in fact they do remember. After all, people have all sorts of relationships, and while
we I would like to think everyone ‘should’ recall all facets of my personality, it’s not really realistic.
Most times when it happens, and I find myself brooding about it, I end up ‘fessing up’ and telling the person that I was hurt/upset/confused and wait for their reaction. Really, sometimes it’s not ever a big deal but I need to clear the air. And when it comes right down to it, I really just want some acknowledgement that they understand.
Okay, so I want them to say ‘I’m sorry’ even if there wasn’t any reason for them to have to say it.
Did I mention I’m a complex personality……”REALLY! You knew that”?