Dear Depression

Day 13 of Blogging 101 is to pick a blogging event from the Community Event Listings, and participate in the next round. I actually didn’t know about this aspect of WordPress. In any case I chose the topic of writing the topic of depression, found at ‘Dear Depression’.

Dear Depression,

You invaded my life and my family’s lives for far too many years. I didn’t invite you in, but you were like a thief in the night and before I knew what was even happening, you were just waiting! Early in our marriage you determined to look for a way to begin your lies and deceit. When we had our first child, you took a gift given to us and decided right then and there to grab hold of me. The fatigue that happens when parents are new, and the baby doesn’t sleep much, was your opportunity to strike, and you did. Many tears for longer than should have lasted, because it began a process of doubting my abilities as a mother, wife and a person.

Early on, you didn’t always stick around for too long at a time, and I would get a false sense of security, only to have it shattered time after time as you lurked in the shadows of my mind.

I fought you and pushed you aside whenever possible, but each time you appeared it was for longer and longer you stayed. There were so many doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, medications and hospital stays from time to time. And then one year I felt like I was losing the battle, and despaired of life itself. The world and my family would be better off without me, and so on a couple of occasions I thought perhaps I should do something to leave everyone in peace, and that I would also be free!

However, intervention took place that saved my life that year, though it was a great strain on everyone who loved me. For a number of years, while your presence was still felt from time to time I was able to function more than in the past. There were still doctors, and medications and to be quite honest I thought you would be present in my life forever.

Then I met a doctor who took care of my physical needs, who also asked me to participate in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and who was a Christian and also prayed for me. This doctor had so much patience and cared very much, and was able to take me from the past with all the years of clouded thoughts into the present, to challenge all the lies and doubts you had me believing all those years. And you know what happened don’t you? Within a matter of a couple of years with this doctor, and with God’s help, I was free from bondage.

So, you see you didn’t have the last laugh; I did… because there has been freedom now for many years, and you ‘depression’ don’t live here anymore.!!!

Note:  There is hope for anyone who suffers from mental illness and in this particular aspect, depression. I was able to still raise our family of three children, along with my husband and they said, that while I’m sure they knew from time to time, Mommy wasn’t feeling well, they said they never doubted that I loved them. They are of course all adults now with grown children of their own. And they all turned out pretty darn good… if I do say so myself!




20 thoughts on “Dear Depression

  1. So powerfully written! As I prepare to give my own depression story at MOPS in a fortnight, I feel it timely that I came across this post. It validates some of the things I went through and also resonates with me as I read about the victory you had through Christ. I found your blog through the comments section on Diane Reed’s blog (Coastal Mum). So glad I did!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sorry I’m late in replying but there has been a death in the family…. I’m so glad that you got some validation in what I wrote. That’s a good thing because for many years I didn’t have that validation.. no one who really understood and could say ‘I’ve been there and I understand! ” Diane


  2. I love a story with a happy ending!! 😀 And let me say your new blog is beautiful! I love pink and your picture is beautiful! You’re rosy cheeks match your blog colors perfectly which is why you picked that shade of blush right? No detail is too small for a dedicated blogger! Ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Diane for sharing your real life Depression and yes it’s like being in a dark hole with no way out, I walked that road for years until I too was set free.

    I remember when I was taken to Hospital by Ambulance a few months ago after a fall , the children in my Street some of them come to my Funday School, were very upset and when I got home from Hospital they came to visit me and gave me get well cards some they made themselves and their Mums said they didn’t tell them to do it. I believe having experienced it much more than once, that Children learn to show Compassion when there is a need to.

    But I’m also sure Diane that you were a very Loving and caring Mum because you still are and Children respond to Love even when we are not always Happy Clappy.

    Christian Love Always – Anne.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Admitting to having depression is a hard thing to do. Once diagnosed I have felt labeled. Even when I have temporarily moved the monster away, the label stays. Thank you for addressing this huge problem with so many triggers and setbacks. Hugs.. Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    • Having a ‘label’ is so true… even after you are free, people feel sometimes if you’re upset or crying, that you’re going to still going to fall back again… I guess it is still possible, but sadness or being upset is so different than depression… Diane

      Liked by 1 person

      • But sadness can open the door for depression. Even some doctors will shrug off an ailment as depression as if it is a basket that catches all illness. Makes me so angry. I know the difference…so should they. But when do doctors truly listen to patients?

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Nicely said! You really tell the tale of living with depression, and how tough it can be. So happy you have said good by to depression for good. People don’t talk about depression until someone takes drastic steps and then only in hushed tones.

    Liked by 1 person

      • It’s such an important issue to discuss, sadly many people still don’t understand depression (or indeed any mental illness) and the stigma thrives.

        Liked by 1 person

        • You’re right of course but some are trying. I happen to live in Canada, and from time to time there is emphasis advertised about mental illness but not enough. Of all the topics discussed on various shows… like Dr. Oz and others they very seldom discuss depression etc etc. At least I haven’t seen it. Is it I wonder because they don’t know how to do it… or is it easier to only talk about physical illnesses..I have written previously about this just in the hope some of it may help someone else Oh my.. I am going on a bit too much.. Diane

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Dear Depression | Christians Anonymous

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