Day 13 of Blogging 101 is to pick a blogging event from the Community Event Listings, and participate in the next round. I actually didn’t know about this aspect of WordPress. In any case I chose the topic of writing the topic of depression, found at ‘Dear Depression’.
You invaded my life and my family’s lives for far too many years. I didn’t invite you in, but you were like a thief in the night and before I knew what was even happening, you were just waiting! Early in our marriage you determined to look for a way to begin your lies and deceit. When we had our first child, you took a gift given to us and decided right then and there to grab hold of me. The fatigue that happens when parents are new, and the baby doesn’t sleep much, was your opportunity to strike, and you did. Many tears for longer than should have lasted, because it began a process of doubting my abilities as a mother, wife and a person.
Early on, you didn’t always stick around for too long at a time, and I would get a false sense of security, only to have it shattered time after time as you lurked in the shadows of my mind.
I fought you and pushed you aside whenever possible, but each time you appeared it was for longer and longer you stayed. There were so many doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, medications and hospital stays from time to time. And then one year I felt like I was losing the battle, and despaired of life itself. The world and my family would be better off without me, and so on a couple of occasions I thought perhaps I should do something to leave everyone in peace, and that I would also be free!
However, intervention took place that saved my life that year, though it was a great strain on everyone who loved me. For a number of years, while your presence was still felt from time to time I was able to function more than in the past. There were still doctors, and medications and to be quite honest I thought you would be present in my life forever.
Then I met a doctor who took care of my physical needs, who also asked me to participate in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, and who was a Christian and also prayed for me. This doctor had so much patience and cared very much, and was able to take me from the past with all the years of clouded thoughts into the present, to challenge all the lies and doubts you had me believing all those years. And you know what happened don’t you? Within a matter of a couple of years with this doctor, and with God’s help, I was free from bondage.
So, you see you didn’t have the last laugh; I did… because there has been freedom now for many years, and you ‘depression’ don’t live here anymore.!!!
Note: There is hope for anyone who suffers from mental illness and in this particular aspect, depression. I was able to still raise our family of three children, along with my husband and they said, that while I’m sure they knew from time to time, Mommy wasn’t feeling well, they said they never doubted that I loved them. They are of course all adults now with grown children of their own. And they all turned out pretty darn good… if I do say so myself!