Silence is Golden or Is It?

I was speaking with someone today, and she was saying that she realizes she is sometimes very outspoken. She just  believes that for the most part, she says what she feels, although she said perhaps too much so.

I lean to the other side, because I guess it depends on your parents and my mother just didn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings or perhaps offend someone. In fact she likely did so to the extreme.

Sometimes I do get the urge to speak my mind, but for the most part before I do, I try to give myself a little time to decide whether I should say something or not. I gave an example to my friend that recently we were at an occasion where there was a ‘silent auction’. The concept seemed a little unusual, because some items were on the table, and if you wanted to bid on it you wrote the price and your name beside it. One item that I decided to bid on I put $15 below someone who bid $10, and then tried to keep an eye occasionally to see if anyone bid above it. So as long as you were the last person to bid, you would get the item.

When the announcements of the winners of the bids were done, my item went to a someone else, and they said it went for $10. I was a bit befuddled because I had put $15, but didn’t say anything at the time. Then when I was thinking of how this might have happened it occurred to me that the person who had bid the $10 had most assuredly erased my bid so they could get it instead.

The organizers had put pencils to write with and so it was easy to do I guess. My immediate reaction was I have to say ‘anger’ and injustice.  I had the feeling I wanted to say something. I paused for awhile; bit my tongue and decided against it because it seemed to be something that in the scheme of life was really not that important, and if the person really wanted it that bad, then so be it. 

There are times that I do speak my mind, more so now that I’m older it seems, but if and when I do I try to make sure it is necessary to do so, and does not intentionally embarrass of offend anyone.

So silence is ‘golden’ I think, when if by speaking it ‘tarnishes’ another’s feelings unnecessarily.

22 thoughts on “Silence is Golden or Is It?

  1. We had friends over for dinner last weekend, whom we have spent countless time with. I really don’t know what happened, but after a wonderful dinner & conversation, the husband suddenly sat up and began to list off to me in front of everyone every fault he thought I had. He went on for 20 minutes. I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life, but thought of the Proverb A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. It was very hurtful but we agreed after they left that he was coming from a point of his own disappointments with his own relationships in life as he attacked me. Needless to say, they won’t be dinner guests in our home again any time soon. Very unfortunate way to end things.

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    • It must have been very distressing not knowing why a ‘friend’ would do that. He will likely wish that he had not done so at some point; at least one would hope so. It’s good to look at it as ‘his’ problem and not yours’. Diane

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      • I asked myself if this was honest and fair criticism first. My husband pointed out that he was coming from such a point of personal pain and regrets in his life. He isn’t the type to express any apologies; hence some of the regrets he has experienced. I counted it as a learning experience, as painful as it was, because I counted him as a good friend before that.

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  2. Diane I agree with you if it’s not really important than let it go but we remember that Jesus and Paul and many other Godly people throughout the ages have trod on peoples toes when standing up for what is right such as God’s Truth and Injustice, some today are being persecuted and even being Martyred as Jesus said they will be in the end times and it will be world wide before the Rapture comes or the first Sickle as it is called in Revelation where as God’s known Children we will all be taken up to Heaven.

    I’m going through a very difficult time Diane and have been for some time, my Internet and Phone Provider have used fraud and other deception to force a closure on my Account because they don’t want to give me what they promised when I joined up with them. I have evidence and witnesses but no one will listen, my only option it seems is to take them to Court, this is not something I want to do but because it has happened with other Providers too, it will continue if I don’t and not just with me but with other people who are also victims of their lack of Integrity, so yes I will be treading on deceitful toes, big ones! so if I’m not on my Blog you will know why.

    Christian Love Always – Anne.

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    • For important things including my faith I do speak up when I need to.

      We had trouble for two years with our internet provider ‘Xplornet’… and they wanted us to pay almost $400 for cancelling the contract early. I contacted via the web… the BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU and filed a complaint against them They had two weeks to respond, and I ended up agreeing to $100 instead of taking it further to court.

      . I don’t know if you have one where you live, but if not I would write the EDITOR of your newspaper… Tell your provider you’re going to do this.. They won’t like the publicity. Diane

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      • Thank you Diane, I will check to see if BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU is in Australia and yes I will contact the local Paper too and perhaps Current Affairs, it’s an Aussie T.V show that exposes injustice in all areas, Amy my Ministers wife, suggested them if all else fails, I only have till next Friday, Aussie time.

        Now it’s time for bed, a few more Posts to read and than lights out,

        Thanks again – Anne.

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  3. Every situation is different. I think, there is nothing wrong with telling one’s mind. Silence is golden and it always was, but I believe there are moments when it is not right to keep the mouth shut. I am normally asking myself: what’s the worst what can happen if I do what I would like to do. I was always for truth even when it could hurt me more than somebody else. The line between not saying anything just to keep everything simple and quiet and not saying anything because one is afraid to offend somebody who realistically deserves to hear the harsh truth is very thin. In your situation, you were right. What’s the point to fight for something which is not that important? How small-minded must be that person who was not too lazy to delete your bid! It’s terrible such people are among us.

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    • In serious situations, I will search my heart to know whether or not to say something.. that even may be difficult for someone to hear… but if it serves no real purpose, then I will likely not do so. I have no problem disagreeing what someone may say that is not appropriate … Diane

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  4. You are so right, as I have gotten older I have learned it is better to keep quiet at least long enough to think it out. Many times in my life I wished I could take something back that I said. You can’t ever put the words you say back in your mouth, but you can always think about something and then say it later if necessary. Great thoughts!

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  5. Beautiful post! You make some great points. I used to be like your friend; outspoken and probably too much so. Now I am much more quiet and thoughtful about what I say. I realized it was much more interesting listening to others. I have also adopted your attitude regarding missing out on your silent bid, obviously if someone is willing to be underhanded about something, they must really want it more than I.

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  6. I think I can speak up too much and might have in your situation. Mr. Gibber is the opposite extreme and doesn’t do it enough. It’s me that got us the better motel room. 😉

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  7. We are like-minded here. I can’t remember if I told you, and I deleted the posts I wrote about it, but have been at loggerheads with management of the nursing home since forced to resign and have spoken up but it has taken its toll!

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    • It’s very sad that if others know that it is unfair, that in this case someone didn’t speak for you. I can identify with you as once where I worked I felt a stigma because untruths were told about me… I hope that somehow you find a peace even in the injustice…. Diane

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