Until today I thought I was past the point of being made to feel paranoid… but during a visit to a specialist, an Ear Nose Throat doctor there it was once again.
Briefly the purpose of my long awaited appointment to see if anything could be done for the Tinnitus I have in my left ear, and after having a auditory test, I spoke to him and explained how my life for the past two years has really been affected by the constant ringing, hissing noise.
He looked at the test results, and afterward explained that the hearing in my left ear was very diminished, but that he didn’t really have anything that ‘he’ could do.
Because of the stress of everything the past two years, medically speaking and this continuous agitating sound in my ear, hearing him say there was nothing he could do, I had a few tears in my eyes.
He then explained why the noises were happening, which I won’t try and explain, and said there was only two things he could suggest might help. The first one was that there was sometimes help by getting a hearing aid, with the possibility of having a ‘sound’ emitted from it which would mask the ringing etc. Unfortunately when questioned as to whether he could write a prescription for it, he said no; that I would have to deal with the company selling hearing aids; and that it was not covered under our healthcare.
It was disappointing, as being seniors we don’t have a lot of extra money on hand, but I said that I had to do something… anything, so that was what I’d do.
He then said the second thing he could suggest was CBT… Cognitive Behavioural Therapy… I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I guess I over-reacted, but I said that actually I had CBT previously in my life, because of depression, but that I had been free from it for many years. I told him that unless he or anyone had Tinnitus; a constant sound and I used an example of a bee inside your ear for many years intermittent, but for the past ‘two’ years ‘constant’; they could not understand; but that I knew what was NOT depression, and that I was only very stressed about this condition. I guess from my reaction he was taken aback, but he said he’d see me in a year and that maybe by that time there would be something new in the way of treatment.
After leaving his office I felt somewhat angry, but also realized that I had indeed over-reacted. He was a very nice doctor, but why was his assumption that if I had some tears in my eyes, that I needed CBT and that I was depressed. What a quick diagnosis he made within the five minutes I was in his office. It was I suppose just a trigger that made me feel like I had to convince him somehow, because I fought long and hard to be free from ‘the darkness’ I called depression.
In any case, the anger subsided and I made my way to the Hearing Aid company, and lo and behold there is a partial grant that we can get, and another portion from my husband’s pension healthcare plan, so it’s not as bleak as the doctor indicated.
While there is no guarantee that it will work there is a trial period and I am hopeful.
(I decided to include the latest painting, just to ‘brighten’ this post a little!!! (Diane)