Sticks and Stones……..

“Sticks and stones can break your bones but names can never hurt me”!!

I don’t know how many of you have heard that phrase, but it was a common one when I was growing up. If a child was being taunted by someone, like being called ‘stupid or ugly’ or any number of other mean things, an answer commonly given by the one being unkindly treated, was this phrase. It was supposed to infer that you can call me anything but it won’t matter. That was to supposedly show that you weren’t hurt and so hopefully you would be then left alone.

We all know though, that words do matter. If kind words are said it can encourage, lift up and give a person a feeling of well-being and self-worth.

On the other hand, a harsh or unkind word, can deflate, demean and generally make a person feel down-hearted, embarrassed or worse. Of course we know that in the extreme such as bullying or constant verbal abuse, there can be dire consequences. Mainly today I’m talking about the everyday kind of occurrence that often happens without thought or necessarily an intention to hurt.

Sometimes it can be from someone who loves you, and you know doesn’t mean it. It can be as casual as contradicting you in front of someone else, or of making fun or light of something you said. It can be teasing that while not intending to hurt you, nonetheless does. It can be something said about something you’re wearing or the way your hair looks, again not intending to sound critical but by saying an off-hand comment, can all of a sudden make you doubt yourself. Instead of feeling good, instead you now feel unattractive and deflated.

This not only relates to adults, but to our children as well. Sometimes we think that children don’t take in the times we correct them in public to the extent that it is embarrassing to them. Of course from time to time, in teaching them to be polite etc. we may gently remind them about their ‘please and thank you’ manners, but what I’m talking about is something that makes a child feel humiliated and especially if it is pointed out in front of someone else. Some things are meant to be discussed in private.

I watched in dismay one day in a store, when a small child of about 4 or so, asked her mother to buy something for her. Instead of just saying no to the child, and moving on; the mother started yelling and saying how selfish the child was for asking, and all the reasons she shouldn’t have asked. One might say that she didn’t really mean it, and maybe was just under pressure, and maybe that could have been the case, even though I felt it not to be….. but whatever the reason, I felt so sorry for that little one looking and listening to her ‘mommy’, and not understanding why she was so upset.

I think that we forget that some people are perhaps sensitive, and may even be insecure in some areas of their life, and to try and just remember, ‘words can and do hurt’; and to attempt to catch ourselves before we ever utter any that could crush a person’s spirit…!

Forgiveness though I must add is a wonderful trait, and we do need to try and do so, and children for the most part are very forgiving too, especially to ‘mommy and daddy’ !

 

16 thoughts on “Sticks and Stones……..

  1. I find hurt people hurt people Dianne and themselves , Name calling also shows childishness as Paul tells us in the Scripture below, so what do we do when people slander and abuse us, as you shared Diane we forgive them and wait for them to come to their senses and stop sinning and grow up.

    1 Corinthians 3:1-3 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto Spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?(KJV)

    Christian Love – Anne

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      • Yes Diane we do forgive and always but they can’t receive our forgiveness until they repent and it is the same with us and God, some say there is no need to repent but that is not what the Scriptures tell us, God makes it very clear that we need to and repentance means turning away from sin and seeking to do good by the empowering of The Holy Spirit, it does not mean it’s OK to go on sinning.

        Blessings – Anne

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        • While I didn’t reply fully about forgiveness .. yes those who do wrong against someone… do need to ask, but if they don’,t we I believe do have the choice to hold onto the hurt or let it go… and if we can in our own mind ‘forgive’ them… God is the ultimate judge ..but .just that ‘we’ can forgive them, if it helps us to heal….Diane

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  2. I find hurt people hurt people Dianne and themselves , Name calling also shows childishness as Paul tells us in the Scripture below, so what do we do when people slander and abuse us, as you shared Diane we forgive them and wait for them to come to their senses and stop sinning and grow up.

    1 Corinthians 3:1-3 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto Spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?(KJV)

    Christian Love – Anne

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can attest to the fact that words spoken can hurt and even change a person for life, deflating all self-esteem and confidence. Not only are those words said the first time, they echo in the sensitive persons head forever! Thanks for pointing this out to those who may not quite understand.

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