A Little Humour

I received this in an email, and it gave me many smiles, and thought I’d share it with you. You may not want to read them all, but each one is so precious especially if you are a grandparent……”Out of the mouths of babes”

 

1.  She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup,
under the watchful eyes of her young
granddaughter, as she’d done many times
before. 
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave,
the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to
kiss the toilet paper good-bye!”  I will
probably never put lipstick on again without
thinking about kissing the toilet paper
good-bye.
 

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish
me Happy Birthday.  He asked me how old I
was, and I told him, “80”.  My grandson was
quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you
start at 1?”
 

3.
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a
grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy
blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As
she heard the children getting more and more
rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them back to
bed with stern warnings.  As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a
trembling voice, “Who was THAT?”
 

4.
A grandmother was telling her little
granddaughter what her own childhood was
like.  “We used to skate outside on a
pond.  I had a swing made from a tire; it
hung from a tree in our front yard.  We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the
woods.”  The little girl was wide-eyed,
taking all this in.  At last she said, “I
sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
 

5.
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
“Grandma, do you know how you and God are
alike?”  I mentally polished my halo and
replied, “No, how are we alike?”  “You’re
both old,” he replied.
 

6.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on
her grandfather’s word processor.  She told
him she was writing a story.  “What’s it
about?”, he asked. “I don’t know”, she
replied.  “I can’t read.”
 

7.
I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned
her colors yet, so I decided to test her.
I would point out something and ask what color
it was.  She would tell me and was always
correct.  It was fun for me, so I
continued.  At last, she headed for the
door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try
to figure out some of these colors
yourself!”
 

8.
When my grandson Billy and I entered our
vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we
were inside to avoid attracting pesky
insects.  Still, a few fireflies followed
us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa.  Now the
mosquitoes are coming after us with
flashlights.”


9.
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I
teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.”
“Look in your underwear, Grandpa”, he advised,
“Mine says ‘I’m 4 to 6’.”
 

10.
A second grader came home from school and said
to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today.”  The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried
to keep her cool.  “That’s interesting.”
she said . . . “How do you make
babies?”   “It’s simple”, replied the
girl.  “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
 

11.
Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a
public servant”, said a teacher.  The small
boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder,
pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to
correct him.  “Don’t you know what pregnant
means?”, she asked.  “Sure”, replied the
young boy confidently.  ‘It means carrying
a child.”
 

12.
A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren
to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed
past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire
truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children
started discussing the dog’s duties.  “They
use him to keep crowds back”, said one
child.  “No”, said another.  “He’s
just for good luck.”  A third child brought
the argument to a close.  “You’re both
wrong . They use the dogs”, she said firmly, “to
find the fire hydrants.”
 

13.
A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma
lived.  “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the
airport, and when we want her, we just go get
her.  Then, when we’re done having her
visit, we take her back to the airport.”
 

14.
Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!  He
teaches me good things, but I don’t get to see
him enough to get as smart as him!
 

15.
My Grandparents are funny.  When they bend
over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their
dog.

22 thoughts on “A Little Humour

  1. I thought I would try one last time as my Internet was open before which means someone could have had access but they still would have to had WordPress settings but I don’t want to to trouble WordPress unless needed, they have been hacked before a few times but the only other reason is if you have blocked my e-mail address and why would you do this without an explanation, as I said it shows lack of integrity and I’m sure that is not you.

    I wanted to say sorry about using the wrong name, I was just sharing with Debbie on my Blog and than went to comment on your Post, Wow maybe I will get a card soon from the Queen Lol

    But I shouldn’t joke, I visited my friend Mary yesterday and she will be 100 on Friday, yet she is as sharp as a tack, her memory is amazing, she claims it’s from doing crosswords but the most wonderful thing about Mary is she prays every night for many people by name, her Love and Faithfulness is heartwarming.

    I hope I will be like Mary when I really do receive that card from the Queen but perhaps Jesus will come back first and I will receive one from the King or maybe He will say; well done good and faithful servant , yes that is what we are to aim for, His perfection in Love, which we can have now not just when we die but we will be rewarded when we do or when Jesus returns, whatever comes first.

    Blessings – Anne.

    Like

  2. I thought I would try again here Dianne as I shared on my Blog I have been trying to Post another comment on your last message about Humor, I was correcting the mistake I made with your name but WordPress keep deleting it or someone does, so I left this comment on my Blog but I have now changed my Password so I will try again here too , if the others appear, which has happened before just delete the copies and leave the original, WordPress told me it was the Blogs doing it but I’m sure that would not be so with Christians like you who have integrity and most I Blog with do.

    I wanted to say sorry about using the wrong name, I was just sharing with Debbie on my Post and than went to comment on your Post, Wow maybe I will get a card soon from the Queen Lol

    But I shouldn’t joke, I visited my friend Mary yesterday and she will be 100 on Friday, yet she is as sharp as a tack, her memory is amazing, she claims it’s from doing crosswords but the most wonderful thing about Mary is she prays every night for many people by name, her Love and Faithfulness is heartwarming.

    I hope I will be like Mary when I really do receive that card from the Queen but perhaps Jesus will come back first and I will receive one from the King or maybe He will say; well done good and faithful servant , yes that is what we are to aim for, His perfection in Love, which we can have now not just when we die but we will be rewarded when we do or when Jesus returns, whatever comes first.

    Blessings – Anne.

    Like

  3. Sorry Dianne this comment is not showing I will try again but it may appear twice this has happened before.

    I wanted to say sorry about your name, I was just sharing with Debbie, Wow maybe I will get a card soon from the Queen Lol

    But I shouldn’t joke, I visited my friend Mary yesterday and she will be 100 on Friday, yet she is as sharp as a tack, her memory is amazing, she claims it’s from doing crosswords but the most wonderful thing about Mary is she prays every night for many people by name, her Love and Faithfulness is heartwarming.

    I hope I will be like Mary when I really do receive that card from the Queen but perhaps Jesus will come back first and I will receive one from the King or maybe He will say; well done good and faithful servant , yes that is what we are to aim for, His perfection in Love, which we can have now not just when we die but we will be rewarded when we do or when Jesus returns, whatever comes first.

    Blessings – Anne.

    Like

  4. Sorry Dianne this comment is not showing I will try again but it may appear twice, this has happened before.

    I wanted to say sorry about your name, I was just sharing with Debbie, Wow maybe I will get a card soon from the Queen Lol

    But I shouldn’t joke, I visited my friend Mary yesterday and she will be 100 on Friday, yet she is as sharp as a tack, her memory is amazing, she claims it’s from doing crosswords but the most wonderful thing about Mary is she prays every night for many people by name, her Love and Faithfulness is heartwarming.

    I hope I will be like Mary when I really do receive that card from the Queen but perhaps Jesus will come back first and I will receive one from the King or maybe He will say; well done good and faithful servant , yes that is what we are to aim for, His perfection in Love, which we can have now not just when we die but we will be rewarded when we do or when Jesus returns, whatever comes first.

    Blessings – Anne.

    Like

  5. Sorry Diane about your name, I was just sharing with Debbie, Wow maybe I will get a card soon from the Queen Lol

    But I shouldn’t joke, I visited my friend Mary yesterday and she will be 100 on Friday, yet she is as sharp as a tack, her memory is amazing, she claims it’s from doing crosswords but the most wonderful thing about Mary is she prays every night for many people by name, her Love and Faithfulness is heartwarming.

    I hope I will be like Mary when I really do receive that card from the Queen but perhaps Jesus will come back first and I will receive one from the King or maybe He will say; well done good and faithful servant , yes that is what we are to aim for, His perfection in Love, which we can have now not just when we die but we will be rewarded when we do or when Jesus returns, whatever comes first.

    Blessings – Anne.

    Like

  6. I enjoyed them Diane, Children’s logic is amazing at times, as long as it doesn’t become disrespectful like some jokes that are passed on the Internet but perhaps they are not from children even though they are claiming they are.

    I remember a young boy in my R.E Class being so excited about his Grandmother getting a 100th Birthday card from the Queen, he asked me when do I get mine, taken a bit by surprise, I asked him how old he thought I was, he assured me that I couldn’t be as old as his Grandmother, I was feeling relieved till he added your only 99.

    Of course I laughed but than the Children use to call me Aunty Anne in my Neighborhood, now they call me Grannie Annie and no one asks to see my Seniors card when I’m shopping now, they say they Trust me, I tell them don’t!

    Christian Love to you from aging Annie.

    Like

    • Sorry Dianne this comment is not showing I will try again but it may appear twice this has happened before.

      I wanted to say sorry about your name, I was just sharing with Debbie, Wow maybe I will get a card soon from the Queen Lol

      But I shouldn’t joke, I visited my friend Mary yesterday and she will be 100 on Friday, yet she is as sharp as a tack, her memory is amazing, she claims it’s from doing crosswords but the most wonderful thing about Mary is she prays every night for many people by name, her Love and Faithfulness is heartwarming.

      I hope I will be like Mary when I really do receive that card from the Queen but perhaps Jesus will come back first and I will receive one from the King or maybe He will say; well done good and faithful servant , yes that is what we are to aim for, His perfection in Love, which we can have now not just when we die but we will be rewarded when we do or when Jesus returns, whatever comes first.

      Blessings – Anne.

      Like

    • I realized as I read these that they may not have been actual quotes from children.. but because they are so close to what children do say… I just smiled… It was a reminder of things my own children and grandchildren did say…. Diane

      Like

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