Lately I have been confused over something, and I won’t really even go into what it is because it’s a bit complex; but it most likely happens to everyone at one time or another.
It is an accumulation over time of things that we might hear, or something we watch someone doing or saying. The first time we shrug it off and don’t really think too much about it. The second time we seem to recall …the previous time but again we may not dwell on it. Then, over a period of time it starts to bother us but we aren’t sure what we are going to do about it.
Maybe we think, we are over-reacting or taking something the wrong way and in actual fact start to doubt that there is anything wrong at all. One day however, we start to think that indeed there is something that just doesn’t feel right.
When we ‘know that we know’ is when we have to make a decision. Will we be able to discuss it or will we just back away, or will we just ignore it and think that we can ‘live with it’? That’s a tough decision sometimes.
I’ve pretty well decided that I can’t just walk away without expressing what I’m feeling because it’s important to hear the others’ point of view and maybe to explain where my thinking is mixed up or not valid. I’ve lived too long to not know that I can be wrong…. yes I did say that … “I can be wrong”.
I guess what I’m trying to say that even if it is explained, does it take away from the fact that what I am feeling, ‘just doesn’t feel right to me?’
So at that point, am I willing to walk away? By the way I’m not talking about a family issue.. and I mention that only because some of you will be aware in the past year or so, there has been some of that.
But never the less it will be hard to walk away, because of the bond that has developed. I haven’t made a decision yet because I really want to talk it over to gain insight and understanding that I may at this point be lacking.
If anyone feels led to pray or has thoughts, I welcome them. I hope that I haven’t been so vague that none of this makes sense. If so, I really do apologize and maybe this is only to make me aware of how much this is bothering me……………… Diane