Right now it is so hard to concentrate; confusion is how I would explain is the state of mind I’m in. I say confusion because I can’t pinpoint why I can’t think of anything positive to write about.
It’s not that there isn’t positive things around me. We have our home and freedom to do whatever we want…we being my husband ‘W’ and I. We have all the necessities of life. We have our little doggie and kitty to share our home.
I have to believe it’s a combination of factors that have developed over this past year especially.. the health issues which still aren’t resolved until I see the surgeon… the situation with the dynamics of some family relationships and of course the recent trouble with my email and computer..
Maybe it’s as simple and complex as being tired for a prolonged period of time. I know what depression is like, and it’s not that…simply a restlessness and yes ‘confusion’ that right now seems ever-present. I wanted so much to write something light-hearted and maybe even humorous, and it bothers me so much not to be able to.
As a Christian I know this scripture, as I used to quote it often when I was depressed…”God is not the author of fear, but one of power, love and a sound mind“. That’s what I’m lacking right now, a sound mind. I’m still not sleeping enough at night, and I do wonder just how long a body can keep going without proper sleep. I keep telling ‘W’ I don’t think I can go on like this, and yet the body does and I do!
So, why am I writing this? I guess just because by putting thoughts and words on paper… well computer actually, it helps to get some of this out of my head.
I so want to feel some strength and write something uplifting and ‘light’…. if only this confusion in my head would clear….
This too shall pass and sooner rather than later I hope!
As an after-thought I thought I would add some paintings I have done over the last little while-remembering they are only amateur and done for my enjoyment…. But that’s positive! … Diane