DP Challenge – Why Can’t We Be Friends?

Prompt: Do you find it easy to make new friends? Tell us how you’ve mastered the art of befriending a new person.

Growing up and even as an adult I found it very difficult to make friends. As a child I knew our family was different from most others. Back in the 50’s believe it or not, divorce or being raised by a single parent was out of the normal way of life. I fell into that category as my mother was the person who was the sole supporter. That fact alone and that I didn’t have the latest style in clothes etc. made me feel introverted.

I guess some of those feelings carried over into my adulthood, and I still felt it hard to make and confide in others. When we married we did have ‘friends’ but not really close, with the exception of one neighbour. She was easy to talk to and seemed to understand me and to this day, we still maintain contact. When we do get together it’s a though we just saw each other yesterday.

When I worked at various places there really were not many who became a ‘friend’ in the truest sense. They were acquaintances and co-workers but not friends. Again there were exceptions as there were two women who I was able to connect with. I do still speak with one of them, and the other I also see at least a couple of times a year.

When we think of friends I guess that implies someone outside our immediate family or home, but I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my sister as my ‘best friend’. We are so close that we know what each is thinking before it is said. We feel what the other is feeling… sadness, anger frustration or joy. We have had times that were stressful in our relationship, as I think many have, but we never ‘lose’ each other. We’re able to talk about anything and everything and most of the time we have ‘like minds’ in so many ways.

I have to say that I’ve made so many friends here blogging on WordPress. I can hardly believe sometimes that many of you seem to ‘like me’  you ‘really like me’. It may sound silly to say that, but it’s as thoughyou can see into my heart and in only the limited time that we have connected it is amazing. You have become a circle of ‘love’ … in the purest sense.

I am truly blessed!!!!

46 thoughts on “DP Challenge – Why Can’t We Be Friends?

  1. I too have struggled with that. When you are different from others it can cause them to talk about you because thats what others do when they dont understand. People feel comfortable labeling something that is different. As an adult, I have few friends and I wouldnt have it any other way. They are the ones that came 5 hrs just to spend a day cooking for me. That is priceless. Quantity over quality. You are a lovely person Diane.

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    • Definitely quality over quantity.. it’s the same with those I interact with at WordPress… I don’t simply ‘follow’ everyone who ‘likes’ or ‘follows’ me.. I know that some do, but if someone does follow me I take a peak at their site… about page and scan maybe one or two blogs and usually I will be ‘prompted’ or ‘moved’ in some way if what I read speaks or touches me.. ‘yours’ was one that did… again…quality over quantity… Diane

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  4. Well written! I couldn’t blog for a number of days and today I was thinking that the worst part is that I miss my friends here.. and was so happy to see you comments tonight:) Thanks for being my blogging friend! You are lucky to have a sister. I have three brothers and, while we are close, it’s different for sure. xx

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  10. I think I have written about how hard it can be to make friends. I know I have gone most of my adult life without any true friends. The kind who will take your call at 2:00 AM, or rescue you when your car breaks down, or offers you a couch to sleep on when you fight with your spouse. I guess I expect a lot from a friend.

    It is hard to make friends because you have all your own baggage dragging you down. The same thoughts run through you head now as when you were a child: what if they don’t like me? what if they make fun of me? I don’t want to be hurt. The process of friendmaking is extremely s l o w. You have to start out talking about sports and the weather for a long time before tackling the real issues: life and love and politics and find out where you connect.

    I have one ex-co-worker I am in touch with via email. We contact one another about 5 times a year. Never get together, there is always something in the way. We have a lot in common, but we are not best friends by any means. I started making friends while I was in Zumba class and learning Tai Chi. But it took me 9 months to get to where I was comfortable just saying hi. Never even got to the “want to go get a cup of coffee?” before I had to drop my classes.

    I’ve found friend-making a difficult process, but worth the effort. You just have to get past the ‘what if they don’t like me’ fear. That’s the really hard part. Only positive experience will get you over that one, and you have to try. It doesn’t just happen.

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    • For sure there is the ‘trying’ and you’re right in that I worried also about letting my secrets be known in case … in case I was wrong about the person . I’m not as fearful now though as opposed to when i was young. I tried not to let the other kids know about my family life etc. but they could tell anyway…
      Maybe when you get moved you will get involved in some program like Zumba if you can …..and meet some other women… I hope so… Diane

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        • I’m okay… glad to see sunshine today. Hope you got some. This week is supposed to be warm but back down low next week… My one test is next week and I’ll be glad to get it over … hoping something comes of it. How are you? Have the changes happened yet re job? Diane

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          • Okay? Good that you’re getting one of your tests over with for sure! It’s slowly warming up here, but still need a winter coat most of the time.

            No changes as of yet, he hasn’t heard back.

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  20. I find that it is harder to make friends now that I am an adult than when I was younger. Somehow, I have become too set on my ways and finds it difficult to go out and meet people. However, even when I was younger, I really did not make too many real friendships – I guess, because I was too overcome with inferiority complex that I only let a few people in.

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  21. I think when blogging it’s easier to make friends because you don’t have all the visual distractions of a person it’s their mind that you are connecting straight to almost like a fast track. So one almost opens up more too I think or feels more relaxed. I’m quite shy in any new groups but prob my blogger friends wouldn’t believe that because seound good friends that I am confident with I’m quite noisy lol but I find that harder face to face. A great post x

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