I’m sitting here right now and I’m thinking of family and wondering what part exactly I fit into their lives and what exactly are my expectations.
Of course I know I’m loved as a parent, grandparent, sister, aunt etc. etc. but do I expect more from them, than I should? Do I expect to be more important than I am? Perhaps I’m wanting others to fill some particular void or longing in my life. It’s not fair really to expect others to be responsible for making us feel better. Often they will of course, when you speak to them and they know you’re really not up to par…but what about when there’s a time frame when you so wish there would be someone ‘knowing’ that you so need to talk to them or have some contact. They’re not mind readers after all, but you wish they were.
These kinds of expectations are not really good or appropriate to have, as they evoke negative feelings that creep into your thoughts. ‘I guess I’m not as special as I’d hoped for’…. or ‘They must know that I like to speak to them more often, so why don’t they call?’… or ‘I guess they have more important things to do and are too busy.’ Those are unfair assumptions and I know they are, but still occasionally they come.
There are times I think to contact them, but usually it’s not by phone because most respond now to ‘text messages’… In fact home landlines are becoming a scarce commodity, given up for cell phones. That’s actually why a few months ago we got one, so that we could text them. The thing is though that most often I don’t get an immediate response, and so again that makes me wonder if I should be expecting one right away.
What about the expectations we have in just day to day living? Do we think that we should have what others do? Why? The old ‘green-eyed monster shows its’ presence … or as the Bible refers to this as… “Thou shalt not covet…….” In other words be content with what you have and don’t be wanting what others have. I don’t intentionally ‘want’ what I don’t have but if I’m not careful it will sometimes subtley get into my thinking.
Then there’s the somewhat out of proportion expectations of life itself. I do on occasion and it again is not intentional, but I will wonder how my life ‘could should would’ be different ‘if only’. There’s another trap it’s easy to fall into.
So, what are my expectations? Are they realistic and do they promote good vibes or feelings or are they ‘out of whack’ and need to be toned down? When I find myself asking those kinds of questions, I really attempt to stop and remind myself that my life is what it is, and to be thankful for what I do have and for the many blessings and people who are in it.
I guess that I should expect only what is valid and probable to happen in my life, I suppose that I can expect to be treated with respect and kindness and some communication from those who love me, but I don’t have the right to “demand’ it.