Ongoing Saga

I really hesitated to write anything at all because my thinking is just not where it needs to be to get back into some sense of normalcy.  And I don’t like that my blog has become all about ‘me’.

The reason I’m writing anything is because my feeling of well-being is just so off right now. While the situation within the family is ongoing, I could perhaps deal with it if my physical condition was not so … I’m trying to think of the right word…don’t want to sound dramatic because it’s not serious and yet it is affecting so many areas of my life right now, even my spiritual!

The sleep deprivation is the worst to deal with.  As some of you know it’s been months waiting to see a specialist because of circumstances that caused the delay. The appointment is in a couple of weeks finally and I am so hoping  that something can be done to help…. I am sleeping still in my lazy boy as I still can’t lay flat, and can’t use my CPAP.. It’s just too uncomfortable to even try sitting up  And the issue has increased anyway in that even sitting up I’m having problems.

I have been trying to read blogs and there was a group reading a certain book together that I thought I’d like to try that as well but alas I can’t even focus long enough to read much at all and my concentration is nil.  I guess it has begun to affect my eyes as well.  I see all the posts that I want to be looking at and can only do a few at a time and if the fatigue doesn’t hit me, my eyes fail me.

This sounds like an ‘oh woe is me blog’, but I didn’t know any way else to explain my lack of participation in your posts other than to tell it like it is.  I have a couple of other physical issues that I won’t bore you with, but I needed to let you know.

I’m going to read when I can and hopefully at least keep in touch with where you are in your lives and blogging, but there’s no way that I will keep up.

I am just so ‘weary’….

34 thoughts on “Ongoing Saga

  1. I’m sure that I needn’t say anything in my comment as it has been said in the last 29 comments.

    So, you don’t need to apologise. You don’t need to worry that this blog is about you when it’s YOUR blog! So anyway, don’t be too hard on yourself and I really hope you can get some help and relief soon from the sleeping problems.

    Take care xx

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  2. I will pray that God gives you your health back – soon. Try to keep your chin up and continue to look up to Him for your needs. There is always purpose in what we have to suffer through. When you get to the other side of this, then you will be able to look back and know what it was all for. But in the midst of it, it all looks scary – frightening even. I will pray that you are given lots of courage as you go through this difficult time.
    many blessings always,
    love you friend,
    robin

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    • You’re right of course as I have experienced trials before.. It’s only that with my physical weaknesses now and the emotional ones…I don’t have the strength that I need right now… So much prayer has gone up for me and the situation and while I know my timing is not necessarily the Lord’s I wonder how this mess or ‘scrambled eggs’ will ever be unscrambled… Thank your for prayers and concern.. Diane xo

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  3. Reading through the comments…that goes for me too! I can’t imagine trying to get through my day without several hours of good sleep. I hope and pray you will get at least one night’s rest and that they find a solution at your appointment. 8)

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  4. Hi, Diane. I’m sorry that you are going through these huge challenges. Sleep deprivation can be such a frustrating and debilitating experience, affecting every aspect of one’s life in negative ways. I’m thinking of you and wishing for you a speedy solution that brings blessed sleep.

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  5. Diane, how many times have you read my blog that is “all about me” 99.9999% of the time and provided encouragement, support, and prayer? I would hazard to guess it would be just about every single time. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. Sleep deprivation can play such a big part, my jags of staying up for 36 and 48 hours at time (for no good reason) are a testament. Tomorrow I’m going to that prayer service I attend on occasion and I will stand in for you. I pray for peace and Zoe is right – it is your blog! Put whatever the hell you want on there! *Big Hugs* Susan

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  6. Diane,
    I’m sad for you. Do you have someone you can talk to who will give you good advice, pray with you and challenge you? It saddens me to see you so sad.

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    • I do … I belong to a Bible group and they have been supportive and praying as have the wonderful people at our church…I just need to persevere and ‘hope’ The lack of sleep affects so much!…… Thank you for caring .Diane

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      • I do care. I wanna see you set free, joyful and well rested. I’m glad you have a support system. That is so important. Praying that you get victory over these issues. Hugs.

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  7. I feel for you so much Diane – glad you are finally getting the appointment. Don’t worry about keeping up with all the blogs – and please keep on telling us how you are. Love Julie

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  8. I am so sorry you are not feeling good on so many levels–being weary is all-encompassing sometimes. Please be kind to yourself–you sound like someone who never makes anything all about you and maybe it is time you did. I am sending you my best thoughts and prayers…LouAnn

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