How many people really know you?
I was looking at my list of things I might at some point blog about that I write when the thought comes to me and this was one that I had written some months ago. Along with it I made a notation beside it that said ‘secrets within’.
How many of us can say that we have many, or some, or none that really know about what we love, hate, think about, dream about and just know all the good, bad and (I won’t say ugly) the not so good things about us.
There are of course our families and I would suppose that some know a great deal, but do they only know what we let them know or can they really understand what goes on inside our mind? They may know a great deal of ‘things’ but do they know the most important? For example, my husband knows a great deal about me as do my children. They know I love them very much; they know that I am a bit on the reserved or they might consider in some cases ‘prudish’ side. They know that I don’t really like off-color jokes if anyone is around who might tend to tell one, and they know that I am
somewhat very gullible. Sometimes they will say something outrageous just so I will react and then they smile and let me know they were putting me on. I fall for it every time too!
They know that I had a really difficult time with depression, and they loved me anyway. They love me when I ‘worry’ even though they’re adults when they tell me they are going ice fishing and all I can think about is that the ice may not be thick enough, and I tell them to ‘be careful’, as if they wouldn’t if I didn’t say so. Yes, they know a great deal but not all within me.
And then there are friends/acquaintances that we try to be open and honest with. Yet there are some times we withhold areas of our lives which we think are too tender a subject to disclose, in case they might think less of us.
My mistakes that I make are usually brought out in the open and confessed, but there are some thoughts we have that seem/are wrong and we don’t want to admit it to another and so we keep it inside or in my case talk to God about. No one knows of these things.
At times and I have found it here with some of whom I blog with, that I can be more forthcoming with things that are on my mind and heart and find no judgment but instead support, love and encouragement. There are some issues that if I were to tell to those closest to me, it would make them worry. In one instance I confided something with one person in particular that I blog with but not to those closest to me. There was no intent on deception, only that it happened at a time when I was very emotional. Was I wrong to do so? I have asked myself that and I have determined that God puts certain people in our lives for a reason, and He uses each relationship to accomplish what He wills for us. If it were something that necessitated my family knowing I would of course tell them, but in this case it served no good purpose to do so.
Does anyone else find the same thing? Does anyone else have secrets that they keep within themselves for whatever reason?