Reflections – Poem

Something on my heart to write …..

POEM FOR MY CHILDREN

Sometimes I find it easier to say

In a poem of sorts

To say what’s on my heart

Hope it is the right way

We’ve had the times in younger days

We talked, and laughed and cried

Growing up was full of joys

But also of mixed ways

We shared the good, we shared the sad

And as you grew, things changed a bit

Life became complex

And some things went from good to bad

I had an illness many years which took it’s toll

A toll on all around, not just me

It wasn’t something that I chose

But an illness, within my soul

….

When depression was part of me

Others could not know

The veil of darkness that was there

Ways they couldn’t see

….

During this time, I couldn’t know

The reason for it all

I wanted it just to end

I didn’t understand the ways to go


It carried on for quite some time

And caused much strife within

It also cost me dearly to

Those around whose love was mine

Sometimes left with just my thoughts

Of how to handle things

My family also had their ways

Of wondering what life brought

Those times have gone and took some years

To find the key to peace

But remnants left and scars remain

And with it many tears

You see there’s guilt within me lies

For wasted time spent

Within the darkness deep inside

And with it many sighs

….

While freedom now is with me strong

I guess there’s feelings still

I feel are unresolved

But maybe that’s where they belong

….

Perhaps I can’t go back

And ever make things right

To change the way they were

Or what it was I lacked

….

I long to really to go from here

And enjoy what time remains

I wonder if what holds me back

Is just plain old fear

Fear that forgiveness is what I seek

Acceptance to give myself

The need to know

That others know I am no longer weak

I feel the joy within me spark

Laughter and life to enjoy

And long for my family to know

My life is no longer dark.

So accept me please, I still have flaws

Perfect I’ll never be

But I am not the same as before

I’ll not be as I ‘was’

21 thoughts on “Reflections – Poem

  1. I LOVE IT, Diane. May you family understand the depth of love and other feelings you are conveying in this wonderful poem. The “like” feature wasn’t working or I’d have clicked “Like” too.

    Riss

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  2. That was beautiful Diane. Thank you for sharing, I see all of your emotions, happiness, guilt, joy in this poem. I love the last line. we will never be perfect in this life, but we learn, we are sanctified, and in Jesus we will be perfected in glory in the next life. 🙂

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      • The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. a righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

        The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

        The word of God himself. Embrace the everlasting arms. 🙂

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  3. Hi Diane, saying what is in your heart, whether you wrote it through your poems or writing is the best way to go. A writer communicates what is on his or her mind through writing. It is a gift that you have to share with the world, I wished my mom waited for us . Your poem is real, heartfelt, and to cap it all, you are perfect and I know your children will always tell you so.

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  4. Oh, a mother’s heart…beautiful.

    As your children go through their own struggles, which we all do, they’ll need this humble and bright light you’ve left for them. Sadly, I didn’t see my mom’s light until she was diagnosed with brain cancer last year.

    I hope and pray that your heart finds the peace you so deserve, and that your kids feel all the love in your heart.

    This is a wonderful poem. Thank you for sharing it.

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    • Oh Lori, as I sit here knowing I should go to bed as I am so tired, I read your words of kindness and I long for the peace that will make some things right again,,,,and wonder why I cannot just ‘trust’ that it will happen…Diane

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      • You have a great longing and the waiting is painful.

        An open heart has its price. Keep it open. Your children will come around…
        My mom always remained open to me, and it’s the only comfort I have now. She paid the price for our distance because she loved me. I’m so humbled by that.

        Remember….a mother’s love lives on well past her own lifetime. You’re leaving a legacy of courage, healing, and a long suffering spirit.

        I’m writing a piece about this very topic. I will have you in mind as I finish it.

        Rest up, mama. You deserve it.

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  5. This is so heartfelt and thoughtful. From one who has a long road before I get to where you are, I say that at night, I am rocked by guilt and worry that I am not doing things right and will inflict life long hurt on the persons I love with my ways, with the way that I am. I pray that their love for me will mask my faults and that they will see that even when I am not perfect, I love them all dearly.

    I pray that your love for your family and their love for you will heal all the hurts and pains of the years, many of which were due to things beyond anyone’s control.

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    • Thank you for all your thoughts….I sent the poem directly to my children as I needed to say some things…I have 3 children..2 boys and 1 girl (all grown up) My one son already replied bless his heart..and said…’you’re perfect to me” Of course I’m not but he brought tears to my eyes…. I believe that your loved ones will see the goodness and love in you also….Diane

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