Prompt: Tell us about something you know you should do . . . but don’t.
First of all, I really think ‘shoulda, woulda and coulda’ are traits we need to be careful living by. I believe for the most part we are going to be disappointed if we dwell on them.
Having said that, if I think of it, they really do exist in our thinking. We quite often wonder what could have been if only we would have and should have done something differently.
So I was thinking of the myriad of ‘things’ in my life that fit into those categories. The one thing that came to my mind that still exists is that I ‘should’ have now being a senior woman, living a good life and with many blessings, is that I ‘should’ have more confidence in myself.
Even now I question when I make a decision, or say something to my adult children in particular if I said the right thing, the right way or was I interfering, and so on. You’d think by now I would be confident but I think it’s because in my eyes my ‘children’ are still that, even though they are grown and capable of making their own choices in their lives.
I vacillate between believing I can offer some wisdom, and then questioning my right to do so, without being considered an irritant in their minds. Sometimes it is afterwards that the thought comes to me, and the I ‘wish’ I had kept my opinion to myself.
This is not just related to them though, but also with friends, acquaintances and even through my blogging.
There are still traces of my insecurities that have been evident my entire life and that originated from my childhood. I sometimes am embarrassed at my age to admit that.
This may never change, and I guess that I ‘should’ just accept it. I will likely continue to second-guess myself many more times!