I had the path for my life thought out very well. I would get married, have children and live happily ever after. Alas, I had read too many fairy tales as a child.
In the beginning of my adult life, I did get married at age 18, and did have three children. There was so much more that I couldn’t have known because we never can know what the future holds. We’d like to think we could and therefore be prepared and have a plan for either, how to avoid it or how to handle it.
In any marriage there are going to be challenges, mistakes, and blessings, and ours’ was no exception.
I was very young and not really prepared for being a wife or for motherhood. I did learn of course as most of us do, but it seemed there was a toll that was to go with it.
I began having episodes of depression when the various stresses came and of course they were many. These feelings were not totally unknown to me, as in my teens I had periods of feeling lost and alone.
The years passed and along with the ‘darkness’ that I lived with there were many other difficulties that arose. There were many times I wanted to just give up, and in fact tried to take my life but I believe that while I wanted to, God was not ready to give up on me. He didn’t remove the trials and He didn’t just ‘zap’ me and instantly heal me, but He was alongside of me all the time.
And so while the path I thought was going to be a ‘fairy tale’ path, it turned out to be one of learning and trusting in myself more, and in having faith to believe that “All things work together for good to those that love God and are called according to His purpose.”