“Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry” Really???

‘Sorry” definition …..feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, etc.:

I can’t quite remember all the details that prompted writing on this word/feeling, but it had to do with someone not recognizing that the word was appropriate to use and they were hesitant to do so.  I can remember asking them why they found it so difficult to say in the way of an apology, that they were wrong and to simply say “I’m sorry”. Actually they kind of laughed and tried to justify why they weren’t really wrong; but they were. Lest you think I talk to everyone this way, I don’t; it was someone who I could speak to openly.

I realize that most people do not believe that the saying in the title is correct, but it is commonly used. The concept is I suppose that if you love someone enough then you’ll never do something that requires having to say those words.  Of course this is not only not feasible but in my opinion anyway, impossible.

Imagine going through life always doing and saying the right thing to those that we care about, and even those we don’t know as well. How many of us wish that those words were said meaningfully, when we have been betrayed in some way. If the words are said because of insistence, then of course they mean nothing at all. That’s happened in my life, and I’m sure in many others’ as well.

When we are feeling compassion or sympathy for another we often use the words, “I’m sorry”, for what they are enduring, or for the loss of someone in their life. Often the people who find it hard to use those words for taking responsibility for their actions; nevertheless can use them to sympathize for another.

There is the opposite extreme to using the word and that is the person who says it too much. They are always taking the blame or responsibility for doing or saying the wrong thing when in fact it is not their fault at all. Sometimes they have been made to feel that way and start to believe it, and it can affect their whole life.  Finding out that not everything that goes wrong is because of them, is sometimes a startling revelation.

Real love is knowing when to say to someone, when something that happened….was their responsibility, and that they are indeed sorry. I believe most relationships would not be in the condition of wondering whether or not to stay in it, and many disagreements could be shortened, before they become toxic, if only those words were used in humility and honesty.

As a Christian of course, those simple words mean everything to God because it is by saying so that we are forgiven. Forgiveness doesn’t always come as instantaneously with humans,  even though it is such an important factor. There are sometimes situations  that have to be talked out or time taken to heal, beforehand. In cases where there is never any responsibility taken,  it is difficult,  for what is there to forgive?

But the key for eventual forgiveness to take place, is for the offending person to say “I’m sorry”.

18 thoughts on ““Love Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry” Really???

  1. Thank you for the great reminder, Diane. I also think there is another kind of “sorry” such as when I feel sorry for the suffering of others, even if I wasn’t in any way involved with the creation of their pain. Perhaps it’s becasue I feel sorry that at times I’m unable to help ease their pain, as it appears that your sister felt about your depression.

    Russ

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  2. You are so right. Saying “sorry” heals wrongs that have been committed. I have often heard this phrase and in my younger days, might have found this romantic. I think, it meant that one should not regret that he fell in love with the other (even when the world is against that love) …or something romantic like that. 🙂 Still, it is not a motto to live by.

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  3. I agree with you 100%. We should treat those we love with the greatest amount of respect and kindness. That means, when appropriate we have a greater responsibility to apologize to those we love than to others around us. Lord bless you. Great posting.

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