1 Corinthians 13
New International Version (NIV)
…..It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It occurred to me again this week, that the above scripture in its entirety is one of the most known ones. It is read many times at weddings and is referred to often as the epitome of what love is but also what love is not.
We know that we don’t live up to what it is of course, because we’re not perfect. But it was just a ..to use a known talk show host’s sayings… ‘a light-bulb moment’, this week when I will admit to one of the ‘not’s’ …. ‘envy’. We just moved the end of October to a Mobile home which is what we decided we wanted as the other choice was an apartment. Since we are in late 60’s for me and early 70’s for my husband we wanted to lower our debt load and so opted out of buying another house and were happy with our choice and wanted to be closer to family and so made the move.
So this week I go for the first time to a Bible Study group that is in the complex next to us. For me this was a big step because having depression for so many years I stayed away from groups of people but because my friend who I mentioned previously from 20 years ago, happens to live in this other complex, she told me of this group that met every other week and asked me if I wanted to join. With some hesitation I will admit because of what I just said, I agreed to go.
My first thought after entering the house of this lovely Christian woman, was not .…oh I am so excited to be here, but instead oh what a beautiful home she has and yes I said …to myself...in comparison to what we have.
I didn’t dwell on it at the time, and was happy that I had decided to go, but it bothered me to the point that I mentioned it to my husband, that I had these feelings of ‘envy’. Somehow all my joy was wiped out at the decision we made, and seeing our family more often, and liking where we were living, and watching the birds out our living room window at the feeders….and all that we had….just because I was envious of the prettier and bigger home that I had been in.
That’s how sneakily the things that are not right to think or do…creep into our thoughts. I’m not for one minute saying that other ‘not’s’ don’t as well…daily or weekly or whenever, but it was one of those times I just became more aware of it. That’s how fast our joy can be taken away if we let our minds dwell on them.
It helped to talk about it and not keep it inside, because I regained my perspective. There will always be those that have more and many that have much less than what we do, but we need to be content and grateful with what we have and who we are.
I will try in the future to remember this moment and accept that though I am not perfect, I am a work in progress.
And I will start my day with another well-known scripture verse….
Psalm 118 vs 24 “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”