Ever since I married (at 18) and now in my senior years, my husband has looked after our financial affairs such a paying the bills, banking and in general just handling our money issues. In the beginning it just happened!. I was more concerned with raising our children who we had very early on. We had our first one just over a year after being married and then 16 months later the second and then our third child about 3 years after that. And I worked outside the home either part-time and sometimes full-time.
I was quite content to let him do it as it came so naturally to him. He could have been an accountant had he ever had the proper education….I really believe that. Before ‘computers’ came into our home, he just did it the usual way of paying the bills as they arrived and were due. I was really oblivious to the whole process and didn’t care to know anything about it.
Then we got a PC and banks and other institutions began online payments, and then the automatic payment method where the money is taken out of your account on a monthly basis….and our cheques such as government and pension were also put directly into our bank account.
Here’s the issue now….I don’t have a clue as to any of this….how or when to do it. My husband did a print-out for me of our monthly bills and cheques that are deposited into our accounts as well as which ones are paid by automatic withdrawal and which ones need to have a cheque sent. BUT I don’t know how to balance or to know how much is in the accounts at a given time etc. etc.
Once I tried to learn how to do it, but learning something after such a long time and doing it another person’s way was not easy and I gave up. That was several years ago.
But I worry because if he was incapacitated in some way I just wouldn’t know where to begin. He’s offered of course to try to help me again to see if I can pick up on it, but because of my cognitive disability now especially with the MS I don’t really think I’ll be able to comprehend. I may have to ‘try’ but don’t think I’ll be able to do it.
Can anyone else identify with this? I feel almost like a ‘child’ being looked after instead of a grown and independent woman.