I’m sorry but there’s just one more point regarding the ‘move’ that has been on my mind and I’d like to share.
In all that we’ve gone through in the past two months with moving something has become evident to me.
There is a difference between depression and being just plain tired, frustrated and somewhat discouraged. I believe that we were meant to move and things are coming together. But if I look at the difficulties that came about during this process I could think that we had made a mistake and that we were going against God’s will. Not only were there a lot of last-minute errors and confusion but the work involved was far more than we would ever have imagined. I know that many of you were praying for us during this time, and so at the time I wasn’t sure why all these things were happening.
Our patience was tried so many times with the situation and even between my husband and I. We downsized to a Mobile Home as we didn’t want to go into an apartment. This was hard work to decide what to do with all of our excesses. Even this brought about a conflict because of a misunderstanding between us and another member of our family. It was cleared up so that there was not any irreparable damage done, but it is only one more factor in the process.
Because of the tension my nerves did get the better of me and others noticed this as well. I had the distinct impression that some thought I was headed for depression again. I voiced this to my husband and said it bothered me because I knew the difference between what I was experiencing and ‘depression’. He tried to console me and said that he didn’t believe it to be the case and not to worry about it. But I must say that for a very short period of time, I wondered if they were right.
I now know that while I am so very tired…because of the move but also because I have been feeling an extreme fatigue since the spring….that indeed ‘depression’ is not present in my being. There is not the despair that goes with it. Some of you know that I have M.S. and I definitely believe that there is a flare-up because the fatigue is the same as I felt when I first was diagnosed and the move just exacerbated it.
I guess this post is just to clear my mind and to say that those who have suffered from depression and have climbed as far out of it as I have, may need to trust a little more that even though there are times we may think we are falling back ….we aren’t. We’re just human and we can have bad days (or in this case, months) like anyone else.
And as far as the prayers that were said on our behalf…don’t think for a moment that God wasn’t with us. Because every problem we had, was solved. If God hadn’t been with us, all of them could have potentially been more of a concern than they were. When we ran into a difficult situation we prayed and asked Him to help us find a solution and without fail He most certainly did. Life is not always easy and Christians are no different from anyone else.
The only difference is that we had the Lord to see us through. I thought this scripture was relevant.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom.
Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
Then you will have healing for your body
and strength for your bones.