What I’m writing today is the fact that sometimes I don’t recognize myself. Just the other day I looked into the mirror and actually said “Woman, who are you”? Over the years we change of course in so many ways, but I guess the physical appearance sometimes is how we gauge how old we’re getting. Recently I was showing a photo album to someone, of my husband and I and family when they were small, and this ‘younger’ person said something to the effect of how those pictures didn’t look like me at all. I laughed ‘kind of’ while thinking it was so true but didn’t like to think about it really.
Inside, I still feel basically the same as I felt years ago but my physical appearance said something quite different to another but also to me. Don’t get me wrong….I know we must age with the exception of course of some people who decide on liposuction, Botox and other various ways of slowing down the process. And I accept that fact. It’s just that what I still feel inside doesn’t match what I see on the outside and some days it bothers me and confuses me. Sometimes I feel 16 inside when for example I’m listening to music of that era.
I actually love who I am and where I am in my life right now. My husband and I are retired and we’ve been through those hectic years and are glad to be where we are.
But is it so wrong once in a while to long for days gone by and for those tender years of raising a family and all that entailed? I don’t even think it’s a longing but more of a remembrance of earlier times and then you realize what they are…..memories to keep and cherish in my heart.
So, I’ve told you what happens occasionally, and I believe that God doesn’t mind me doing it once in a while. He gave me the life that I had and He gave me the one I live now and I’m thankful for both. The next time I look in the mirror, I shall say I am who God wants me to be.