I was just thinking …motivated by my recent blog on over complicating matters, how much I
hate dislike confrontations. I will go to almost any length to avoid one. Many times I just decide to ‘hold my tongue’ (when my brain doesn’t freeze that is) and not say anything at all, if I disagree with someone and I don’t wish to contradict what they are saying, being that it would accomplish nothing but to alienate them. Some of this goes back of course to earlier years when I wanted people to ‘like’ me and so I would agree with almost anything they said remembering what my mother and others used to say ..’silence is golden’.
Now it’s because I don’t like the feeling that ensues when you openly disagree/argue with another person’s viewpoint. There is always a tension that builds and then sometimes an unnerving silence, waiting to see what further is going to be spoken. I always question the validity of disagreeing for the sake of disagreeing, and not be open to another person’s viewpoint, thinking mine is the only right one. After all, even if a person in my opinion is wrong in their thinking it doesn’t follow that they are. It’s sometimes my thoughts versus theirs!
I used to try to make peace in every situation that arose especially within our family. I would explain one person’s perspective and feelings to the other person and try, mostly in vain to ease the problem. The trouble is, that a third-party getting involved for the most part doesn’t work but I would try so hard. In the process of doing so, I became very unsettled in my spirit when it was something totally out of my control. We raise our children and when they are small we can
make help them realize they both need to say “I’m sorry” and everything is okay once again. It doesn’t work that way when they grow up though as they must ‘fight’ and ‘resolve’ their own battles.
This issue is not just one relating to family of course. It also happens in the ‘blogging’ world. For the most part if I disagree with what someone is saying, I just don’t say anything, but sometimes I feel strongly that I should. Those times are few and far between but they do happen. Therein lies the question. Do I or don’t I ? When someone is asking for reactions or opinions then of course if I feel that I have something to offer I will do so.
But I will admit, that I do not like to openly disagree with someone or cause some kind of confrontation. Do you think that’s being wishy-washy or prudent? I do try to question ” what would Jesus do?” I wonder if others face this same issue.