That’s Just Wrong

Lately I have read a few blogs that talk about the ‘judgement’ of others and how it has affected their well-being in their live. I have given it some thought and I realized how prevalent it is in our society.

Even as children I think they judge each other by what toys or electronic gadgets they possess. If the kids have a lot of them they are judged as being lucky or rich and they look forward to going to those friends who have such things.

As teenagers a girl is judged as being ‘easy’ or loose morals….I won’t use other words that are likely used because I don’t think it’s necessary, but you get the idea. In many cases this is simply untrue, but gossip starts. It sometimes happens because the girl in question does not live up to the standards that the most popular and well to do girls have. The nicest brand name clothes and shoes and money to spend freely.  It doesn’t always come down to being of loose character, but just being plain and ‘poor’ in the eyes of others and not fit to belong to the ‘in’ crowd. I was  not a teen yet but in grade 6  when I noticed that I fell into the category of ‘not belonging’. I didn’t have nice clothes and didn’t live in a house in the suburbs with a mother and father, but instead lived in an apartment with my Mom and one sister and brother. I found myself wanting so badly for the other ‘popular’ girls to talk to me and accept me for just being me. I was shy and introverted because of how I was made to feel, and most times at recess I was alone in the courtyard trying to get close to someone so I would not look like I was standing alone. The odd time someone would talk to me but it was never in a friendly way, but more trying to get information about me and how I lived. Back then, divorce was not popular at all, and my mother was not divorced but there was no father in the picture. I would never tell them that my father was an alcoholic and that he had been ‘restrained’ from coming ever to our house…. because while he had not previously been ‘physically abusive’ when my other siblings were being raised (9), after I was born he had on a couple of occasions began to do so. No, I would just leave them thinking they were divorced. It was easier.

Some are judged if we have a mental illness, which can range from depression, eating disorder, bi-polar disorder and the list goes on. They’re ‘different’ and it becomes common knowledge by way of gossip and discussion. These individuals are bullied, brow-beaten and made fun of. Why this happens is obvious, in that these individuals have not been taught to accept those who are different from us. One of the earliest lessons we taught our children was that if  they saw someone in their class who didn’t seem to have any friends, to try to be one to that child, because how would ‘they’ feel if they were that person? When Valentine’s Day came along we made sure to always include ones for that  child. It may seem like a small thing, but I firmly believed that you had to start bringing that kind of thinking into our children at a very young age. To our delight, through the years of schooling, they remembered that lesson.

I think another ‘big’ way we judge others is as Christians. If someone doesn’t fit the mold of what we think that means, in how they think, dress, act or even pray then we think less of them and we question whether or not they are really a Christian at all.  I believe we all have gifts given to us as God’s children and we use them the way that we feel we are meant to. The Bible says that some plant the seed (of faith) some water the seed, and some reap the harvest of the grown seed (salvation). So I might only ever be the one that plants the seed, but that is my gift and I am grateful for it and if I am faithful in it then I believe God is well-pleased.

Ultimately, God is the only one who has the right to judge and I am thankful for that. We need to be able to ‘throw off’ any other form of judgement people try to impose on us. May God help us to do that.

14 thoughts on “That’s Just Wrong

  1. You are such a smart lady. I can’t say I’m 100% innocent of judging either. I try not to but in today’s society, it is so easy to do. I have to make the conscious effort not to and remember that only God reserves that right. Thanks so much for this post!

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    • I’m not so sure about your first comment lol but thanks anyway….I try …to look past the physical appearance even of someone and make a judgement right then and there as to what they’re like. Looks are deceiving.I’ve found that out in reality….Diane

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  2. Judging is something that comes naturally to us. It would seem that we were born judging ourselves and others. Judging is also a defense mechanism whereby we can keep people at arms length and /or not associate with them and justify our behavior by judging that person. Judging is something that the Lord has been dealing with me and my wife about. Like I said above, it comes naturally, but the Lord is making us more conscious of when we are doing it. No one knows the content of a person’s heart except the Lord, and with the prophetic mantle that the Lord has upon my life, I will see into a person’s life when the Lord opens my eyes and shows me. Judging is done correctly when it is done in conjunction with the Father and is used to build a person up and not to tear them apart.

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    • Yes …Judging when done ‘with the Holy Spirit’ is constructive…as I was saying with another person who made a comment I was stating the negative ways people judge…but of course there are for example if hiring a baby sitter …our of a selection of three for example we judge ( or discern) which would be the best choice….I consider discernment another word for ‘judgement’ because the Holy Spirit is involved. I hope that makes sense??? Diane

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  3. Good posting and I certainly understand the point you are trying to make. You are correct in saying that many times judgments that are made are sinful and only do harm. Let me just say that I do see times when we must make judgments about people… it is something that is wise and proper to do…

    For example parents looking for a baby sitter should make a “judgment” about whether the candidate would be a good sitter for their baby. To simply accept the first person that answers the ad would be irresponsibile.

    What about finding a mate? In my mind one of the greatest problems today are people marrying without first taking the time and effort to effectively judge the one they are about to marry to see if they would be a fitting spiritual partner.

    Also what about choosing business partners, or choosing close, personal friends? I believe it is Biblical to make judgments about others before we enter into relationships with them. That is a part of why the Lord tells us to not be unequally yoked with those who are of the world. I think this is why the Lord tells us that “by their fruits ye shall know them” I think this implies we are to make spiritual judgments based upon a person’s actions to help us discern if they are saved and obedient to Christ. If we don’t discern a person’s spiritual needs how can we effectively work to meet those needs?

    I guess what I am trying to say is thay, sadly you are correct in saying that a VAST MAJORITY of cases, judgmnets that takes place are wrongheaded and sinful . However, there is a place for Godly spiritual judgment to be exercised. If we do not ever make judgments about others characters it can lead to great harm to ourselves our families and to the cause of Christ.

    Just something to think about. Lord bless you. and thanks again for bringing up a very important subject!

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    • You are right of course in the points you make….I guess I should have stated that I was referring to the incorrect times we make ‘judgements’. And I guess some of what you refer to I believe is discernment of character or more of a knowledge but I guess it boils down to a form of judgement like you say. “Judgement’ is such a harsh word isn’t it?? Thanks for making your comments….Diane

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  4. Beautiful post and so very true. I think people have forgotten how to forgive and they judge, instead. It seems that everyone is judging someone. I believe that the best testament a Christian can give is behaving everyday, in every action as Jesus taught us. And, like Jesus was as a man, we will make mistakes, but forgiveness from others and from ourselves will heal. Enjoy the day! 🙂

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