This will be my 100th post. It’s been 7 months and yet because I’ve been writing for the pleasure of it, the time has passed so quickly. I remember tentatively trying to understand the instructions of how to set up the account and write my first blog. When I was writing the 98th one, and told my husband that it was about my brothers and sisters, he said “what about me”? So I saved number 100 for him. I told him that while I would leave out anything too personal I may allude to times not as good as others, and he thought that was okay.
I met W. when I was 15 and he was working part-time in the grocery store my mother and I shopped at. He was 19 and of course the difference in age seemed to maybe be a hindrance. To my surprise, my Mom took a liking to him, and so we would flirt a little and we would often forget to buy something like…say the butter…or the bread..or something that I would need to make extra trips to the store to get. I wonder why!
We began seeing each other when he invited me to go to the Canadian National Exhibition with him. He was and still is very outgoing and energetic, while I on the other hand was very shy and introverted. I was amazed that this ‘older’ guy would be interested in me. Now before you say it, I know that 15 is very young to begin a boy..girl relationship, but times were different then and even though I was quiet, I was also ‘old for my age’ as I had to grow up fast. By the time I met him my older brother had married and left home, so there was only my mother and I. If you’ve read any of my other blogs you know that I had a somewhat insecure and unstable life growing up, but always the love and support of my Mom…that was always there.
I began working full-time when I was 16 and continued seeing W. When I was 17 we became engaged in a hospital. W. had been suspected of having tuberculosis because of a ‘positive’ test result, and so entered a hospital especially for that purpose, and was there for several months. In that time I went every day to see him (except he tells me today that for the last month or so I didn’t). I don’t remember. In any case one night he surprised me with an engagement ring that he got from calling a jewellery store to ask the salesman to bring him a few up to the hospital to look at. So in the hospital hall, he asked me to marry him and I guess it’s a foregone conclusion that I accepted.
We married, had 3 children, all by the time I was 24. There were many stressful times in the marriage many of them concerning the depression I suffered with. There were also marital issues that come up in many marriages and we struggled through those times. Whenever a crisis came up W. was always right beside me so that I never felt alone. There were times when he had a hard time understanding exactly what depression was like because he just was never in that place. But he persevered with me and our family and we took on whatever the world had to throw our way. And at a certain time in particular for a period of about two years we were thrown quite a lot.
When the children were young, because W. had a job that involved shift work, he would often be gone from 5 in the morning till 7 at night. There were hours in between when he was off but not enough time to come home and have any time before he would just have to turn around and go back with a lot of driving, and so he would just stay at the station he worked out of. He drove buses and streetcars…mostly the latter. When he was away long hours I needed to be the main caregiver for our children, while also working either part-time and later full-time. But we tried to not have baby sitters any more time than was necessary.
W. had a heart attack when he was 46. He was involved in hockey coaching, and other things as well and the stress just caught up with him. It was a wake-up call to slow down. He did somewhat but not really all that much until he retired. During the later years he took over more of the household duties, as by this time I had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and I was also still being plagued with depression. I had been working full-time for the past 13 years at a job that was very stressful and so he gradually took over more things to ease the pressure.
My husband has always been someone who others can call on for help…whether it be in helping to renovate their house, coach hockey tournaments, help at the church with being Chairman of Sidespersons or whatever. He still does his best to this day, but he loves it. He loves to cook and try to make some new recipe that just sounds like it might be good. I on the other hand at this point in my life do no enjoy cooking. Not that I never do…but why take his enjoyment away …right? I also hate to do grocery shopping and on the other hand W. does still enjoy that also. When I go the occasional time, he says it costs him a lot more than if he had gone by himself.
W. has been a great support with my having M.S. and helping so much. He also over the past few years has really understood what depression is like, and thus able to help me more. Since the past two years I have been finding my way out of depression, he is so proud of me, while understanding that if it wasn’t for God’s patience and grace, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
I just want to end with the fact that God must have destined us to be together, because many marriages could not have endured what we have and be able say that we love each other more today than the day we were joined in marriage.
I love him very much.