The Darkness

There are many ways of finding yourself in ‘darkness’. My darkness carried the name ‘depression’.

As I look back on my life, I would say that even as a teenager there were times when I felt so lonely that my thoughts wandered into that “how am I ever going to feel better”? But I managed to keep on keeping on.

Then when the children were so young and so many pressures of life, I handled what I needed to but the times of feeling so overwhelmed were present often.

Although I don’t recall how many, there  were a lot of times that I fell into ‘the pit of darkness’ in my life. The worst times were feeling like I definitely couldn’t go on another day but somehow squeezing one day after another. A couple of times but for the Grace of God I wouldn’t be here writing this today. There were doctors that helped along the way, but eventually situations would arise that would tempt me into returning to my old negative thinking. Don’t get me wrong…I went through some very trying times but lots of people do and do not ever get to that bad place. It was obviously in my physiological makeup. I am happy to say that for several years now I have not been in that pit of despair, and believe it is a combination of the support and help of others, doctor’s help, medication when necessary and the help of the Lord.

There are others that must feel the same level of loneliness and darkness experienced by me, but for other reasons such as drug, alcohol or other obsession in their lives. We need to really learn some of the reasons or triggers that cause such a negative and destructive attitude in us. Realizing the truth about ourselves is part of the battle…another part is to decide to fight it with all our strength and might. At the risk of repeating myself, take the support, and prayers offered and do whatever it takes.

Stay out of the darkness and walk however slowly it takes…into the light. And realize there are many who have been there too. You are not alone! You are never alone!

9 thoughts on “The Darkness

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  4. During the times of my bouts with depression I didn’t have God in my life – at least not on a conscious level. I have attempted suicide more times than I care to remember. But I made it through, and I am thankful for not dying back then. One is often stronger than one realizes. Even when it feels as though one’s running on empty.

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    • You are so very right, we are stronger than we think . All we have to do is believe it…that’s the hard part. You may not have consciously had God in your life..but He had you in his arms and was carrying you through your ‘darkness’….Diane

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  5. Depression nearly consumed my life! All that is most precious and dear to my heart nearly crumbled into a heap! I am so grateful to the Lord for rescuing me out of that cold, dank, dark cistern of de3prssion!

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    • Depression and other mental illness is coming more to the forefront these days. However I believe that still a person who is going through it feels like and outcast and not like a ‘normal person’ One who has experienced it and come through the darkness and isolation, can be perhaps the best ally to someone else who is in that state of mind. I too am so grateful to God for never giving up on me when I gave up on myself!

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