What’s In a Name?

This second day’s assignment of Blogging 101 is to edit our title and tagline of our blog. Of course this is optional as to whether we want to do it or not, or just explain why we chose what we did.

I decided to leave my title of Hometogo232 as it is, but I did change my tagline.

The reason I chose the title I did, was because ‘home’ has always meant a great deal to me. It wasn’t a physical tie that I had to any particular house or home; but instead a place where I felt the warmth of love and security. The security wasn’t the place itself either, but the people within.

My mother always made me feel that she would take care of me, no matter what. There were difficult times, financially and otherwise, and as a child I wondered what my Mom would do, to make it all okay. As a child I had severe asthma, and hay fever and even Scarlet fever once and I was very ill. Back in those days, there were not the rescue inhalers and other medications that we now have; so most times when it got bad she would take me into the bathroom, turn on the hot water fully, and steam the bathroom as much as she could until I was breathing easier. Then it was quite normal for her to sit in a chair and hold me in her lap because I couldn’t lay down, and there we would sleep for the night.

We tried and believe that we succeeded in making our home, a haven of love and security for our children, as they grew up.

I would suppose… no, I know….. that next to God my home and family have been the most important factor of my life.

p.s. the 232 is only because there was already a blog called hometogo, and so I used the street number of our home at that time, and tagged it onto the end.

 

 

What Have I Accomplished?

I decided for the first time to join Blogging 101, or really any challenge that is available to do on WordPress. The first assignment is to tell something about myself, and why I blog. I’m hoping I am able to do justice to the challenge for the next three weeks.

To start with I’ll mention I just turned 70; have been blogging since 2011 and when I decided to do it I didn’t even know what it really was.  I had only heard vaguely, something about being able to write, and perhaps meet people in other countries that may have similar interests.

One of the things I thought I would write about, is my early upbringing and some of the difficulties; also my life during the raising of our children; and a very definite decision to write about depression which I lived with intermittently throughout most of my adult life. I thought that perhaps by sharing this, I might somehow help someone else going through the same thing, and that I might encourage them to know it is possible to climb out of what I called ‘the darkness’, and into the light. I’ve been free this form of mental illness for several years now, and my thought was to help if I could someone else.

My faith is part of my journey through blogging too, as God is an intricate part of who I am and what I believe.

So, what have I accomplished? I have met hundreds (not a few as I imagined), formed friendships that are very special to me; have been able to come alongside of some who indeed were experiencing depression or difficulty in life to let them know they were not alone; have received so much encouragement and support from others myself, when I have had to face some of life’s challenges.

The other thing I’ve learned is… ‘a lot more about blogging than when I first started’, technical and just the overall process! When possible I try to ‘pay it forward’ and help new bloggers, as some definitely helped me out many times.

And I learned that this is a long enough post!  ……… Diane

A Nice Surprise

6 of our grandchildren

6 of our grandchildren

IMG_1956 IMG_1961-002Sunday was my 70th birthday. It was a special day for me. I believed that my husband ‘W’ and I were going out with one of our sons ‘JA’and his wife, for dinner at a steakhouse on Saturday evening. My other son, ‘JW’, only 2 days earlier had to have some dental work that was very painful, and so I didn’t think we’d be seeing him and his wife until maybe Sunday or even Monday.

When we got to our son’s place to meet there before going to dinner, all seemed uneventful and we left for the restaurant. When we got there, our other son was there  and our daughter; as well as 7 of our 9 grandchildren and some other family members and a couple of girlfriends of our grandsons. Our daughter ‘K’ drove with her two sons from the Chicago area… her husband unable to because he was in China on business.

It was a total surprise… I had no idea. One of the reasons it didn’t cross my mind is that for my 65th birthday, which might have instigated a party, some of the family had some issues and so a family get-together was not possible. The situation while it had improved a great deal, I did not think it to be resolved; thereby not even thinking of a party. Some of you that have followed me for awhile might remember.

One of my sons, (the one that had dental issues)  is in audio/visual work and he had created a DVD with photos and old 8 mm videos taken many years ago when ‘W’ and I were dating, were married and then many with the children and other family members and friends. He had played background music of our era and also did some talking from time to time with some thoughts that he had. It was a half hour in length but it brought back memories and laughter for all present. Our grandchildren had never seen pictures etc. of their parents and grandparents at much earlier ages, and so really enjoyed it.

Tears (happy ones) flowed from me and from others as well. The tears were not only because of the DVD, but even more importantly for me, our family was together again in unity and spirit and laughter; and we had a family photo taken which we have not had, for a long time… Unfortunately 3 grandchildren and our great-granddaughter were not in them, but I’m hoping for one with everyone included, in the not too distant future.

I’m sorry this was a bit long, but I wanted to share some of my joy with you… my blogging friends.

I have been praying for this for such a long time it seems, and Saturday for my 70th birthday, God answered my prayers.

note.. I almost forgot; I received a brand new IPAD… something new to challenge my little gray cells!!!

Some Follow-up Info…

I’ve been putting off writing this because I was hoping that everything would be sorted out by now, and this if for those of you who asked me to let them know the results of certain tests etc. It just seems that for the past year  (or two) it’s been one thing or another, and while I still don’t have all the answers I do have most. I’m sorry if this appears like it’s a medical report, but I’ll try to minimize it the best I can for those interested. I apologize to the rest of you.

1. Problem with sleeping has been alleviated by the surgery that I had… paraesophageal hernia repair.

2. Eating difficulty that still was present after surgery has improved greatly, although I still have to be careful eating certain foods.

3. Tinnitus.. got a hearing aid with a sound masker to help mask the ringing in the ear. I’ve only had for a few days and likely will need adjusting, but it seems like it’s going to really help with the extreme sounds that I’ve had ‘constant’ for the past two years.

Issues still ongoing:

1. Even though I had the surgery, it appears that I have two more hernias, which I will see in a couple of weeks if anything has to be done about, or if they believe for now they are not a problem, perhaps they will leave them alone..

2. Because of some symptoms I had a couple of months ago, I wore a holter heart monitor for two weeks and because of some results, I need to do it again in August. It may be just a sign that in the future I may require a pacemaker, but will need to have follow-up in September with doctor.

I so appreciate the kind thoughts and prayers during a very difficult time. While the medical system is never perfect, it has none-the-less been very good to me.

God has sustained me through all of this also, as from time to time I wondered with the severe lack of sleep how I was even functioning at all. One of my favourite verses that would come to me often was.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”.

Thanks again…. Diane xx

 

Silence is Golden or Is It?

I was speaking with someone today, and she was saying that she realizes she is sometimes very outspoken. She just  believes that for the most part, she says what she feels, although she said perhaps too much so.

I lean to the other side, because I guess it depends on your parents and my mother just didn’t like to hurt anyone’s feelings or perhaps offend someone. In fact she likely did so to the extreme.

Sometimes I do get the urge to speak my mind, but for the most part before I do, I try to give myself a little time to decide whether I should say something or not. I gave an example to my friend that recently we were at an occasion where there was a ‘silent auction’. The concept seemed a little unusual, because some items were on the table, and if you wanted to bid on it you wrote the price and your name beside it. One item that I decided to bid on I put $15 below someone who bid $10, and then tried to keep an eye occasionally to see if anyone bid above it. So as long as you were the last person to bid, you would get the item.

When the announcements of the winners of the bids were done, my item went to a someone else, and they said it went for $10. I was a bit befuddled because I had put $15, but didn’t say anything at the time. Then when I was thinking of how this might have happened it occurred to me that the person who had bid the $10 had most assuredly erased my bid so they could get it instead.

The organizers had put pencils to write with and so it was easy to do I guess. My immediate reaction was I have to say ‘anger’ and injustice.  I had the feeling I wanted to say something. I paused for awhile; bit my tongue and decided against it because it seemed to be something that in the scheme of life was really not that important, and if the person really wanted it that bad, then so be it. 

There are times that I do speak my mind, more so now that I’m older it seems, but if and when I do I try to make sure it is necessary to do so, and does not intentionally embarrass of offend anyone.

So silence is ‘golden’ I think, when if by speaking it ‘tarnishes’ another’s feelings unnecessarily.

A Tale of ‘T’ears

Until today I thought I was past the point of being made to feel paranoid… but during a visit to a specialist, an Ear Nose Throat doctor there it was once again.

Briefly the purpose of my long awaited appointment to see if anything could be done for the Tinnitus I have in my left ear, and after having a auditory test, I spoke to him and explained how my life for the past two years has really been affected by the constant ringing, hissing noise.

He looked at the test results, and afterward explained that the hearing in my left ear was very diminished, but that he didn’t really have anything that ‘he’ could do.

Because of the stress of everything the past two years, medically speaking and this continuous agitating sound in my ear, hearing him say there was nothing he could do,  I had a few tears in my eyes.

He then explained why the noises were happening, which I won’t try and explain, and said there was only two things he could suggest might help. The first one was that there was sometimes help by getting a hearing aid, with the possibility of having a ‘sound’ emitted from it which would mask the ringing etc. Unfortunately when questioned as to whether he could write a prescription for it, he said no; that I would have to deal with the company selling hearing aids; and that it was not covered under our healthcare.

It was disappointing, as being seniors we don’t have a lot of extra money on hand, but I said that I had to do something… anything, so that was what I’d do.

He then said the second thing he could suggest was CBT… Cognitive Behavioural Therapy… I couldn’t believe what he was saying. I guess I over-reacted, but I said that actually I had CBT previously in my life, because of depression, but that I had been free from it for many years. I told him that unless he or anyone had Tinnitus; a constant sound and I used an example of a bee inside your ear for many years intermittent, but for the past ‘two’ years ‘constant’; they could not understand; but that I knew what was NOT depression, and that I was only very stressed about this condition. I guess from my reaction he was taken aback, but he said he’d see me in a year and that maybe by that time there would be something new in the way of treatment.

After leaving his office I felt somewhat angry, but also realized that I had indeed over-reacted. He was a very nice doctor, but why was his assumption that if I had some tears in my eyes, that I needed CBT and that I was depressed. What a quick diagnosis he made within the five minutes I was in his office. It was I suppose just a trigger that made me feel like I had to convince him somehow, because I fought long and hard to be free from ‘the darkness’ I called depression.

In any case, the anger subsided and I made my way to the Hearing Aid company, and lo and behold there is a partial grant that we can get, and another portion  from my husband’s pension healthcare plan, so it’s not as bleak as the doctor indicated.

While there is no guarantee that it will work there is a trial period and I am hopeful. 

(I decided to include the latest painting, just to ‘brighten’ this post a little!!!  (Diane)

Dahlia in Bloom

Dahlia in Bloom

 

We Pray………………..Poem

I’m the prayer coordinator for special requests by those in our church or for anyone who asks. The requests come to me, and I record them, and then send out to those who are in our ‘Prayer Chain. The requests are varied, and yesterday I just felt like expressing my thoughts with a short poem…. and sent it to those who pray.

We pray oh Lord, and wait on thee

To know what the answers will be

Will the healing take place?

We seek your face.

Will those grieving feel peace

And will the hurting cease

For those who shed tears

And facing their fears?

There are so many dear Lord

Who pray in accord,

We know that You hear

And shed many a tear

For all who we pray for

And so many more.

We will continue to pray

As our burdens we lay

At Your feet, and we ask

If you’d bless our task

Of praying for all who have need

For those whom we intercede?

For answers received and yet to be

We thank You dear Lord and give praises to Thee…..

 

 

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