Why Is It?

I was sitting here just wondering why exactly it is, that some people just won’t be ‘real’ with you. Sometimes, there are people who won’t open up and say what it is that perhaps is bothering them; or the two of you know, but only one wants to bring it out into the open and discuss it honestly, calmly and in some cases, lovingly.

There is one, who is hoping against hope that the other, will bridge the subject that is causing a wedge between them. One wants to clear the air, but the other wants to avoid doing so. One is hoping to hear some words or encouragement and understanding, but the other withholds giving it to them.

There is an air of doubt, there is an air of ‘don’t ask, and don’t expect too much from me.

Someone might think that just blurting out what you want to talk about might be the answer. However, the person in question knows from previous experience, they can’t do that. There is an invisible wall that prevents unwanted entry.

Why is it though? Is it pride? Is it lack of caring? Is it unwillingness to forgive? Is it lack of wanting to broach a subject they just don’t want to talk about?

Maybe it’s a little of everything. It’s too bad though, because it leaves one person feeling sometimes sad, sometimes hurt, or sometimes that they just wish they themselves didn’t care either!

 

Thankfulness Mondays – A Year to Remember ! Plus – Painting

Week 52 (of 52) begun by Bernadette of Haddon Musings; blogging once a week of things in our lives. sometimes that  if we don’t really think about may go unnoticed as a blessing. Others have participated also, but Bernadette had to stop for a time, to take time to grieve. She lost her son just last week, and when I have mentioned it in the last couple of posts, there have been many bloggers, who have given their condolences, thoughts and prayers to her and family. I hope by giving  the link to her site, she will receive a notification and know of them.

On this my last post of this specific topic (although I’m sure I will at some point be doing other posts on being thankful); I am thankful that I took time to begin painting again. Of course it is only of an amateur level, but I started back in the spring of 2014, and in the past few months because of moving plans, and other issues, I haven’t been doing any.

It’s something I do casually, and really don’t have the knowledge for so many techniques, but as I start back I’m hoping to work at learning some of the aspects that will help me improve. But for now, I’m just happy to have started again. I should mention that Inese from Inese Poga Art and Creative Discoveries   has give me various tips to help me.I haven’t worked out the logistics yet of where I’m going to paint, although being in an apartment now, there are less choices. But I have the materials that I use in plastic drawers on wheels, so I can move it easily.

For this time however, I just plunked myself down on the floor! My husband took a few pictures, and I included the painting that I did!

OOPS PRESSED PUBLISH TOO EARLY

As a side note I’ll be blogging on whatever enters my mind in the coming months! But this past year has really helped me to realize just how much I do have to be thankful for….. thanks to the inspiration of another blogger! Also I will also mention that I am still going through some health issues, tests etc. Thanks to all for thoughts, wishes, and prayers

 

Thankfulness Mondays – “Thank You”

It’s week 51 (of 52) that I and others joined Bernadette of ‘Haddon Musings’, posting and being aware of many things to be thankful for in our lives. Unfortunately Bernadette very recently has had to pull away from blogging, due to a very emotional time in her life. She will be losing her son, who has been ill for many years. There may be other bloggers, if you follow her link, that you might like to read.

This is the second to last post, based on this topic, and I would like to tell you how thankful I am for those who follow me. I have always tried to read the posts of those I follow, but lately because of the challenges in my life, it has been very difficult to do. In retrospect, t seems as though the past few years have been wrought with different types of difficulties.

I know that we all have them and usually we grow stronger as we go through them. If I re-read many of my blogs, there were estrangements, grieving the loss of loved ones, worrying about issues in our lives, or illnesses of those we care about, or things we are experiencing  ourselves. I do indeed write about them, as it helps me to do so.

Support and love has always been offered and given by many. Sometimes (a lot of times actually)… I feel I’ve taken much more than  personally  I’ve given.

So for you, my very kind, supportive, understanding blogging friends, thank you for listening, for thoughts, prayers, and for the patience that you’ve shown when I’m not able to keep up with your blogs, your needs, your concerns.

Right now, I’m just waiting for some answers, and often just tired.

I fully expect to be looking back at this time, and to realize that it was just ‘life’… all of it; and it will only make me appreciate and emphasize the fullness and joy that overrides all the difficulties.

So again I say thank you for your understanding and indulgence…… I will of course be trying to keep up as much as possible.

Romans 8 vs. 37

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

 

Sometimes Moments of the Past… Creep Back

Yesterday, for a short time some moments of the past crept in. It happened in a matter of a few words spoken.

I won’t expand on all the details, but it so quickly took me for a surprise, and evoked feelings that were like those when I was going through a time of depression.

The anxiety that I felt was hard to contain and I didn’t.  The initial aspects only lasted minutes, but the emotions that surfaced are still with me today.

It is strange how a word, can lead to a phrase, that then leads to expressions…. that then lead to emotional reactions.

These past few weeks, I have had some challenges with my health. (It seems to me the word, ‘again’ fits) I guess it goes with age some of it. One of the issues was that I ended up in emergency a couple of weeks ago, because I woke up at 3 am not really speaking or making sense. It is possible that it was a mini stroke (TIA) but equally possible it was something else.  There are some other issues, but won’t go into them.

The only reason I mention that last part, is that I guess, not feeling well, it leaves me vulnerable to over-reaction of words spoken, or perceived criticism, whether there or not.

Anyway, that’s what the left-overs of depression, that sometimes ‘lurk’ in the recesses of your mind, can do to a person years later, if conditions are at all present.

For awhile my strength was very much diminished. I know by the end of today, with God’s help,  I will be okay and my physical and emotional well-being will be as it should.

I write this only as more information, that may help or educate one who suffers/suffered with depression, or one who lives with a person who does………….. I guess I also wrote it to just ‘write’ it! ??

(p.s. I’m somewhat slow in catching up on your blogs; I was also away for 3 days with my sister. I’m hoping to gradually catch up) ………………….. Diane xx

Thankfulness Mondays – “In Spite Of”

Week 50 (of 52).  I’ve been blogging with Bernadette of Haddon Musings, and several others of things in our lives or of things around us, that we are thankful for, and that perhaps offset negative situations around us and in the world.

Before I go any further, my thoughts and many others go out to Bernadette, who has of late had a great sadness and while she is I know and has been very grateful and thankful in abundance, is now experiencing one of those times that we most likely all will or have faced in our lifetime; a time of grieving. Her son is and has been not well for many years, but the family now faces the fact that they will likely lose him very soon. She has therefore taken a hiatus from blogging for a time. My heart goes out to her, but I so appreciate even the fact that she has over this past ‘almost year’ given me pause to appreciate the blessings in my life. May she find the peace, healing and strength that she needs in the days ahead.

Like Bernadette, there are many who are struggling with one area or another.  The people who of late, are being terrorized in U.K; Afghanistan, France, Syria and so many other places; one would think have very little to be thankful for.

When one sees and hears of their strength of perseverance, the heroism of many, and their determination to not give into fear and hate, in spite of’ the atrocities that are happening to them.  I am so thankful when I hear that their spirits, while very wounded, their physical well-beings are challenged, and the sanctity of life is being so disrespected; the vast majority of people do not want to give up; do not want this violence to control or consume their lives.

One doesn’t just have to look at the present but the past also. How it might be the easier route to just throw up your hands, and in fact just give up on the human race.

But we don’t and we can’t, just as in our personal lives we must persevere with what we face in life. Sometimes, we do need a time of quietness of mind and spirit, or in the case of a personal loss to grieve and to heal.

But as nations and people, we must try not to let the trying and even tumultuous events that befall us ‘defeat us or define us’, and when I look around the world today, the spirit of ‘man/woman’ wages on and we are not defeated!

 

 

Thankfulness Mondays – An Early Search, and Find

Week 49 (of  52) joining with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and other bloggers, posting each week of something in our lives to be thankful for, whether small or large;  hoping while doing so it will offset some negative areas and perhaps encourage some others along the way.

Today I’m thankful for something frivolous. While in a shopping mall this week not really intending to look for it, I decided to go into a couple of stores that were there, because the malls around where we live, don’t have these particular stores.

It’s not that I needed to get it yet, as I don’t until October, but just thought I’d have a little look. So the first store that I went into, that I thought  would have a good selection of gowns, in fact had very little choice. Of course when you’re being very specific I wasn’t sure about finding the ‘one’ I was looking for.

Lo and behold, the second shop I went into, had many to choose from, and there on the rack I found exactly the right one; at least in my mind. It was the exact colour, length and had a little bolero top to cover the shoulders and upper arms. If you know about women over 70, you might understand why I would want a little bolero or little jacket.

The dress is for our first grandson, in fact the first grandchild to be married, in October. Now you know why I really didn’t need to really be looking yet. I so look forward to him and his beautiful fiancée, being married and starting their life as husband and wife. I pray for them, that they will accept the best and the worst… and that they do love and cherish each other as they go through their life together.

Anyway, I am excited that I found my dress, and so look forward to their coming marriage.

The pictures I’m putting up were actually from the store’s online website, ( as I had to put mine in for alterations. I’m only 5 feet tall and clothes I buy are always too long). I have to say the pictures don’t  do the dress justice. It is, in actuality a shimmering grey, with sequins.

 Of course, I don’t have a figure like the model does, but I am so happy and thankful to have found it, and on sale!

w

Thankfulness Mondays – “In Their Thoughts!”

Week 48 (of 52)…… I’ve been posting along with Bernadette of Haddon Musings and others, of the many things in our lives we have to be thankful for, sometimes they are small and may go unnoticed, and other times they can be very obvious. We hope that by doing so, it may offset for us and others, the negative areas in our lives.

Today I’m thankful for those in my life, who I know are available when I need advice, prayer or when I just need to realize that I am in their thoughts.

It is important not only for me but I believe many, when there is an area of concern in our lives; that someone makes us aware that they care and are willing to listen. Sometimes that’s all that is necessary. Actually since I first mentioned that my husband and I were moving, and the various issues and concerns I had, people were so kind to offer their support. There were friends, family and those in the blogging community who all made the move easier, by their help and their encouragement.

Since the move I have been very tired and not feeling as well, as I’d like,  but I know ‘this too shall pass’. When we get overwhelmed it is so easy to let the issue ‘mushroom’ in our minds, but when there are those who we can ‘vent’ to, and just express our frustrations and feelings, the problem is then put back into perspective.

We  can then re-focus and realize we just need to take one day at a time.

So today, I am very thankful for those who keep me in their thoughts, and who have offered to listen, to encourage and to let me know they care! That is most definitely many of ‘you’. !!!