How Old or How Wise Must I Be?

How old or how wise must I be, before the things of life make sense to me? How long before I stop wondering about the need for men and women to seek excessive power, money and war?

It has been from the beginning of time that this has been going on. You would think at some point we would learn from the past. Does it really fulfill people to do whatever it takes to gain money and fame? It certainly can’t bring them peace of mind or soul. So what does it bring them? Surely happiness does not come at the expense of lives wasted in the process of ill-gotten gains. Surely war does not bring feelings of tranquility or a calmness of the spirit.

Is it as simple and as complicated as good versus evil? Maybe it is just that! When a child is born, it behaves and believes what it sees around it. If the child is born around those that seek war and not peace, they believe that’s the way life is supposed to be. If life is not valued, then as they grow they repeat the folly of their parents and community they are raised in.

I have to say that it does trouble me when I see the news these days. My heart breaks for those forced to leave their homes… men, women and children, and who end up in a camp with tents and whatever food and medicine that can be shared with them.

I know that there is not much I can do, that in any way alleviates these families’ situation. But the day it ceases to touch me, is the day I know that I’ve lost an important part of who I am.

While there’s not much that I personally can do…. I can try to contribute something monetarily and I most certainly can pray…..

So, how old and wise must I be to understand these things? I guess a lot older and a lot more wise, because I cannot understand hate and war at all.



Touching Base

This past little while has been taken up with trying to sort out computer issues and trying to find a new doctor. One we’ve been successful with, but not the other.

Ever since we moved here, the end of 2012 we have had computer issues or internets service issues. I finally did a lot of research and documentation of our terrible speed of our internet, and other issues, and this week we determined we were getting rid of  changing our ISP. After talking to them one last time about things, we made a call and yesterday we got another one. I don’t know how many of you test your speed, but I certainly got used to doing so when sitting and waiting sometimes for 10 minutes to get into a site. The system more times than not would time out, or say ‘page cannot be displayed’. I was getting so frustrated and just plain fed up. And now I can’t believe the difference in how fast the system is. Also, some of you may remember that I have had an issue with going on to some blog sites (the ones that end in .com and not The old ISP claimed that in no way was it their issue, and I knew it wasn’t a WordPress issue!

Well, as soon as we were connected with the new one…. ‘presto’, the problem is no longer a problem. I  had spent so much time trying everything and everywhere to check all my computer settings and did test after test on my own and with WordPress support, and with our ISP.

The other issue is with getting a new doctor. I have not been feeling well (not seriously sick) … just not well, for so long and yet our current doctor just hates to make a referral to another doctor, and hates to do any tests. She thinks it is too expensive on our healthcare system, and she seems to be happy making best guess scenarios. I am hoping that soon we will be able to find a new one. There are other issues like follow-up of test results etc. too. We just want a doctor that we can ‘communicate’ with!

In any case, I am tired a lot of the time and find it hard to concentrate.

I was so happy though that at least the computer issue is at least solved, and that’s big ‘plus’!!

I’ll add some paintings I’ve done in the last little while….. just to add some color!



A Special Day To Give Thanks

Today is the Canadian Thanksgiving; a day set aside to recognize the many reasons we have to be grateful. Most of us I imagine do not wait until this one day to do so however.

There are so many things that I could list that I am grateful for. I think though that this year I will mention here,  and give thanks for our family that is healing from the trauma, of this past year.

Next to God, our family is the most important thing in my life. I imagine that’s no surprise to many of you who have followed me for some time. I guess in thinking about it, I need to give thanks for two things. There were many of you and others who prayed, or sent thoughts of love and concern and offered support.

We all I think need to know that there are those who are willing to do that for us. There are many families who are going through difficult times, or who have reasons why they cannot be with their perhaps ‘biological families’.

But family doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be related by blood, but only by kindness, love, compassion, empathy, support and caring, to name just a few attributes.

As long as we have someone who falls into that category, we have reason to give thanks.

So, Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, not just to us in Canada.

When I Can’t Remember Anymore

Yesterday I learned of an elderly friend 92 years of age, who passed away. She had been dealing with Alzheimer’s for the last 11 years of her life.

It was one of her daughters who let me know, and while of course she and her brother and sisters were sad to lose their mother, they knew that it was her time to go.

I don’t know a lot about Alzheimer’s disease but I do know that losing one’s memory is a big part of it. I can appreciate what that likely does to that person, and to their family. In this case her mother only very recently had trouble with recognizing some people. However, she said that she did recognize even as late as the last visit two weeks ago, her children.

I can relate to how it feels to have someone close to you, not recognize or the inability to tell you whether or not they do, as for the last 7 years of her life, my mother could not do this.

To a small degree, I can imagine what it must be like to be that person, who either can’t remember or recognize people, or let those that love them know verbally whether they can or not. While I am not severely debilitated by M.S. my memory is one aspect that troubles me. When it falters a bit or more than a bit, I do have a disconcerting thought that perhaps one day, I will be in my mother’s shoes so to speak, and I thought of what I might think or say beforehand, to those that love me ‘just in case’.

Just in case I can’t speak

Or tell you I love you

Perhaps I’m too weak

And won’t know what to do

I may stare into your eyes

And hope so that you’ll know

That though I’m not wise

I can remember you so

Don’t be upset, and don’t ponder too much

For the way things are

The memory and such

Instead, please reach far

Into your mind

And remember me when

I was loving and kind

Though you can’t know

By seeing my face

Know that I love you

‘Just in case’.






Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge

Challenge: I decided to post this collage of all of our pets we’ve had.

Our much loved pets

Our much loved pets

Top left is Daisy, who is our current darling cat who was a rescue from a shelter. She is just 1 1/2.  Beside her is our current doggie Koko who is 11 years old.

Top right is our beloved Hope, who we took off the streets when she was pregnant. She had 5 kittens who we found homes for but kept Hope, who incidentally never tried to get outside after we took her in. except just before she had the litter. She got out a window left open, but came back 2 days later and led us to the window well where we found her babies. (Below that picture is Hope when she was older and she lived to be 14.)

The bottom left picture is our daughter when she was about 17 with our first pet, Tipsy who was part of a litter of pups along with her mother and a male dog who was abandoned in a rural area. She had ulcerative colitis but lived to be 14. Next to that, is Tiffany our Sheltie who was a gift to my husband from our family. She lived to be 10.

The picture next to it was of our first cat Josie, who lived to be 21. On the bottom right is our dog T.J. who was abandoned at our vets’ by its’ owners. He was such a comfort to me during a difficult period.. he would just lay beside me wherever I went, and stay with me. He lived to be 11 years old.

Below him is our cat Angel, who was a rescue from a shelter also, and who lived to be 14.



Daily Prompt – One-Way Street

Prompt:  Congrats! You’re the owner of a new time machine. The catch? It comes in two models, each traveling one way only: the past OR the future. Which do you choose, and why?

Thinking that it would be actually possible to do this; travel back in time or into the future made me think. Would I want to go back to a certain period in my life, and actually re-do it, possibly better than I did the first time around?

Maybe I could raise my children better,  maybe I would choose a different job; or maybe even choose not to get married and have a less complicated life.  Maybe heartaches that I’ve had at different times would just not happen. There are so many areas that I could change, knowing what my choices have brought to me.

On the other hand, if I chose to go into the future it would be exciting and maybe by doing so I could by-pass a lot of current problems. I would see how my grandchildren grew up, and whether they got married and had children of their own. I would see how the world has developed and what the results were of wars that are going on currently.

I’ve decided that I would not use this time machine at all. My life is what it is. It’s what brought me to where I am today and shaped me physically, emotionally and spiritually.  With all that has taken place, I would not change a thing. I may have had times of difficulty, or times those I love have disappointed me, and most certainly times I have disappointed others but it’s all part of me…. it’s made me who I am…. who God I believe wants me to be.

As far as going into the future, I would not want to do that either. What will be will be, and I don’t want to know what lays ahead. I will take one day at a time and face the future that way and put it in the Lord’s hands.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Who’s To Say ???

A friend of mine lost her husband 5 months ago. She is having a really difficult time with the grief she is still experiencing.

There are those who have told her she is taking too long grieving… that she is wallowing in it. It occurred to me that this doesn’t just happen when someone we love dies, but also at other times, but to address the grieving process, lets ask ourselves; ‘who’s to say’ what the correct or appropriate amount of time is, to allow ourselves or others time to grieve?

As far as I’m concerned there is no specific allotted time. I would think that there are so many things to consider, and in my friend’s particular case, she lost her husband of 43 years. She lost her confidant, her lover, her support, her feeling of well-being. She lost the laughter they shared, the conversations about everything and anything, the music and shows they enjoyed, the memories of past times they would talk about, the sharing of joy when children and grandchildren would visit. What about the date nights and what about the times when one or both of them felt discouraged or broken, and the other one would lift them up? What about someone to help them with the household and property chores?

When you lose your spouse or partner in life, you don’t just lose a ‘body’, you lose a lifetime of sharing the joys and sorrows of life. You lose the person who actually has become part of you and you of them. You lose therefore part of yourself!

Of course losing others whom you love, whether it be brother, sister, friend, parent etc. is very difficult and grieving must take its’ course.

The same concept is found in perhaps a person who is going through depression or another form of mental illness and is relevant I believe also. How many times does the person feel as though others are thinking they should ‘hurry up and get well’?  They feel as though they must not take too long, as it is bothersome to their family or friends.

So how long is too long? There is no definitive answer I believe.  My thoughts are, that those who are concerned about the grieving process of a loved one, should certainly try to help, pray for, and encourage and support in whatever way they can, and just ‘be there’ for them, and that in doing so it will help to alleviate some of the feelings of loss that the person is feeling. Nothing I don’t think will take away all the pain, but it can help.

Having said all of this, just don’t pressure someone into fitting into your schedule, of when you think it’s time to stop.

Just support and love them through whatever time it takes.



Motherhood. Mental Illness. Out Loud.


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