Forgive Me Please

This is not a post seeking consolation, nor sympathy. This is an honest plea to ask forgiveness from my readers and God.

This past year, my focus has been totally self-centered for the most part. At least that’s how I feel! I have been so self-involved that I have lost so much of ‘myself’!

It’s not that I haven’t cared what’s going on in others’ lives or blogs, but I haven’t been able to get out of the fog that I feel has enveloped me.

What I’ve written about has of course had reality within it, but today I’m feeling that I need to break out of the haze of it all.

So bear with me, while I figure it all out. I need to be doing more in my life for others. I need to remember just how to be the real ‘me’ again…..

Diane

Not Feeling Well

Today, about an hour after getting up, I started feeling really unwell. I’m dizzy, weak so tired, a slight fever, and headache. I thought that it would pass, as sometimes I have had the weakness and dizziness before. I haven’t had a fever since the pneumonia a couple of years ago. But this is not pneumonia.

It has not passed however and there is not an ounce of energy in my body. If I still feel like this tomorrow, I will try to get in to my doctor.

I mention this because I can’t read any blogs… I tried this morning. So I likely won’t be able to catch up, when I am able to start again.   Diane

 

A Little follow-up and some Paintings

So most of you that follow me know of the problem I had with being hacked and not only that, but the issue with not being able to access my old hacked account in order to delete it. I had so much trouble trying to get a hold of someone at Microsoft to explain the complexity of the problem. I just couldn’t get through the barrier of not having the password that the hacker changed and so could not get anyone to sort things out. With the posting of July 31st I mentioned sending a letter to MS and while I didn’t really expect an answer, I sent one anyway to the US. office and the Canadian office. I needed to do this for closure. I sent a long explanation of my problem but also that I thought their process of dealing with people who were hacked, was flawed. I sent it about a month ago, and today in my email was a response, saying they got my letter.

They apologized for the trouble that I have had, and said there would be a further communication from the MS account support escalation team to complete the details. They know that all I want to do at this point is delete the account. I was happy to receive a response, to show that sometimes….just sometimes big business listens to the ‘little guy’…..

Anyway, I’m going to show a few paintings that I’ve done lately. With each one I learn a little more. For example the one of the beige dog; one of our previous dogs T.J. is far from ‘good’… I didn’t realize how hard it is to create the colour ‘beige’, and also when painting a light colour how in the future I know that more priming of the canvas is necessary or the backing of it shows through.

There is so much more to learn about painting the hair/fur of an animal also…. It’s time to look at some more tutorials.

Anyway, here they are.

T.J. A very special doggie!

T.J. A very special doggie!

Tiffany, was our Sheltie

Tiffany, was our Sheltie

Another bird, Woodpecker

Another bird, Woodpecker

A little Junco, on a cold blustery winter day

A little Junco, on a cold blustery winter day

You Know Why I’m Thanking You…….

 

Letter to God…. re my question to Him June 2014 

Dear God,  I’m thanking You,

Not for riches or gain

Not for power or might

Not for wisdom or prestige

Not even for better health

But I thank You because………..

 

Our family is being restored

Healing is taking place

Forgiveness is happening

Laughter is possible between us

Joy is in ‘this mother’s’ heart

 

You know, that today that’s why I’m thanking You

 

 

 

A Tough Subject-Assisted Suicide

See note at bottom of post….

I’ve read a few times recently in the blogging sphere and in the news, of those wishing to die by assisted suicide. This is a really tough and controversial subject, but I decided to weigh in on it. This is MY opinion only!

I’m going to write about this outside of my Christian belief, because while I feel that is a valid consideration, that is not what our laws are based on, in this decision.

There are many people with diseases and conditions that are not curable, and are very debilitating. Some of those afflicted wish that assisted suicide was a choice, and would like the laws changed to reflect their wishes.

In our society as it is now, while assisted suicide is not the law. there are situations that occur in which a patient is in extreme duress relating to pain and suffering, that the doctors are within their protocol to not prolong the suffering of a person, in that there are no life saving resuscitation methods or machines used to keep that person alive. In most of these instances pain medication is used to alleviate the distress as much as possible. At least that is my understanding and experiences that I am aware of.

While I do understand that there are those that do not fall into that category, and are just not wanting to keep living with their debilitating condition, I’m going to express my feelings why this would be difficult to regulate.

To me, the most significant reason is that it would be such a ‘relative and arbitrary’ decision for a group of people; medical, psychological, legal and moral… to sit and ‘judge’ whether or not to apply this to an individual. What are they to use as their basis. The disease, the perceived progression of it, the symptoms and condition, or just the fact that the person has decided they don’t want to live anymore? What then if it’s not a medical condition but a mental or psychological issue that the person has? Where is the line drawn?

Photo Credit stockvault.net photos

Photo Credit
stockvault.net photos

If a law were to be made to allow a person to make this decision, what then if the family of that person objects? What then if a family decides FOR the person with a lengthy illness…. for example someone in a coma, or an elderly person who the family thinks that their loved one would want it, or THEY want it? What then if our society decides that someone who is in a vegetative state, or is very old and bed-ridden and is using up Medicare costs? It’s not such a stretch…..

Where and who and how will it progress from one law, to allow assisted suicide for those who feel they have that right?

It will be said of course that I don’t have an illness that is such that I want to end my life. Incidentally I do have M.S. but am not severely debilitated by it.  I will say though, that in my lifetime I did want to die, and in my depression if such a law had existed, even though my Christian belief is that only God should have that decision, I ‘might’ have still done it. The reason I maybe would have is that all I could see is darkness and sadness and I would not have been making a rational or conscious decision. Being free from depression many years now, I can see that so much would have been changed if I had done so; in my family and friends’ and my life. So there will be many, and maybe some who read this that say…. that is not their situation. Their situation is different and they want to be able to decide and that they are of sound mind.

All I can say is, that while I sympathize greatly for them, it would be such a ‘slippery slope’ if such a law was made, and how far does that slope extend?… ‘in MY opinion!

NOTE:  I’m sorry if this showed up twice in your notifications… I had thought I would take this down for a couple of reasons… so I put it back into ‘draft’ but I found out it still showed up only unable to comment…. So I thought I might as well put it back on… I’ve not done this before and so didn’t think about the fact you may get it twice.. Sorry for confusion… Diane

 

Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge

(on a light note)   I thought I’d put a picture of our cat Daisy ..or should I say Queen ‘Daisy’ as she takes over my husband’s recliner. The funny thing is, he let her stay there and he went and sat somewhere else……Doesn’t she just know we’re putty in her hands….

 

IMG_1076

When It Just Doesn’t Feel Right

 

Lately I have been confused over something, and I won’t really even go into what it is because it’s a bit complex; but it most likely happens to everyone at one time or another.

It is an accumulation over time of things that we might hear, or something we watch someone doing or saying. The first time we shrug it off and don’t really think too much about it. The second time we seem to recall …the previous time but again we may not dwell on it. Then, over a period of time it starts to bother us but we aren’t sure what we are going to do about it.

Maybe we think, we are over-reacting or taking something the wrong way and in actual fact start to doubt that there is anything wrong at all. One day however, we start to think that indeed there is something that just doesn’t feel right.

When we ‘know that we know’ is when we have to make a decision. Will we be able to discuss it or will we just back away, or will we just ignore it and think that we can ‘live with it’? That’s a tough decision sometimes.

I’ve pretty well decided that I can’t just walk away without expressing what I’m feeling because it’s important to hear the others’ point of view and maybe to explain where my thinking is mixed up or not valid. I’ve lived too long to not know that I can be wrong…. yes I did say that … “I can be wrong”.

I guess what I’m trying to say that even if it is explained, does it take away from the fact that what I am feeling, ‘just doesn’t feel right to me?’

So at that point, am I willing to walk away? By the way I’m not talking about a family issue.. and I mention that only because some of you will be aware in the past year or so, there has been some of that.

But never the less it will be hard to walk away, because of the bond that has developed. I haven’t made a decision yet because I really want to talk it over to gain insight and understanding that I may at this point be lacking.

If anyone feels led to pray or has thoughts, I welcome them.  I hope that I haven’t been so vague that none of this makes sense. If so, I really do apologize and maybe this is only to make me aware of how much this is bothering me………………  Diane

 

 

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